Thursday, January 06, 2005

on a rainy day



On a rainy day... thinking of a song but then my knowledge of the lyrics ends right there.

So Auburn won, war eagle! ;) Ah, but too bad all the same.

And as of Tuesday, I am an official employee of Tower Hill Insurance Group. I'm sure everyone must be thrilled, as much as I am.... (cough, cough). Benefits, a raise, paid vacation... that's not so bad I guess. But then there's the difficulty of the job itself... ha.

Finding the connection between strength and contentment. I have not felt very content, and this has been coupled with an awareness of my weakness as a human being, weakness and susceptibility to torrents of ever changing emotion and thought, where no rock is found. I do not have the strength to find contentment. For to will it in my mind would make the contentment meaningless. But to seek it in a stronghold - a Rock that is tried and True - contentment may be possible and become truth for me. "I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me." I used to meditate on this for crew, having to give all my strength and power and sweat and leave it on the water, legs and arms and stomach shaking for sheer muscle tension and exertion. This encouraged me, to find strength, physical power, by looking to Christ. And yet... it was the thoughts and will and inner strength that Christ truly gave me. Not so much increased muscle mass (thought I suppose possible all the same)... so I am finding out how to find such strength to be strong and feel and perceive less discontent and lack of energy about everything. The how is still a question, but the what- the who- is at least crystal clear.


3 comments:

Jackson said...

And that's the important part, that the "who" is crystal clear.
Sure gets my approval.

Anonymous said...

And the Dave asked:

Just out of curiousity, did you run back in the day?

Kristi said...

to the Dave:
if by run you mean, track and field stuff, no, not formally. I never played sports before St. John's. But I did enjoy jogging on my own. And ran a few 5K races, but just for fun, not competition. Crew was my first semi-competitive sport, since it wasn't just intramurals, etc.