Saturday, March 29, 2008

silent side by side.


silent side by side., originally uploaded by krisde.

victory square monument in background.

lights at the bus stop.


lights at the bus stop., originally uploaded by krisde.

shot during a nice late night walk downtown with friends.

Bus stop is by the colorful circus.

BY


BY, originally uploaded by krisde.

there was snow again in late March. It's still hanging around.

Monday, March 17, 2008

discontent, partaking of the divine.

Contentment. It is still an elusive concept to me at times. One I have always had a hard time embracing… because so often I felt a discontent in my life that was not about food or clothing and yet Paul’s words were the oft-quoted solution, but my soul was never salved. I came to believe that there could be a permissible discontent in my life, but defining it or explaining why I felt it was okay at times to be discontent to others proved to be difficult. I often felt alone in my discontent, feeling like a failure for letting feelings and desires for change in my life “drive away” a “Godly contentment,” feeling like maybe I was in the end wrong and discontent could never have a healthy output. I felt like contentment equaled resignation. No one ever disabused me of this notion, never seemed to make an intelligible distinction between the two. I thought of Kierkegaard, and his Knight of Infinite Resignation, contrasted with his Knight of Faith… I didn’t want to be resigned. I wanted to have unfathomable, crazy faith. The faith that saw the impossibility of a thing, but went on believing unquestionably, unhesitatingly, in its definite fulfillment. So it was in an apropos moment that I continued my previous reading on contentment and came across this:

I wish I could end our discussion of contentment on this high note. But as you have probably already realized, contentment has certain difficulties. The great problem with a principle of contentment is its tendency to baptize the status quo, to give religious sanction to present conditions. It is the kind of counsel that the powerful enjoy giving to the poor and defenseless. Often it is the very spirit of discontent that has prompted wonderful changes for good. There is a kind of holy restlessness that inspires important social advances. And so we are faced with the practical issue of knowing when our disquiet stems from a God-given concern to improve conditions, and when it is the result of self-serving greed. There are, of course, no foolproof answers, but I share the following guidelines in the hope that they may at least turn us in the right direction.
First, we can share the concern with other brothers and sisters whose discernment we respect. Second, if our restlessness has its root in anguish over the plight of those whose condition is clearly desperate most likely it is of the Lord. Third, if the concern involves the well-being of our children, it is often right. Fourth, if we are wanting to improve our own state, we should not automatically assume that it is wrong. Fifth, let us consider if our discontent has its source in a lack of inward peace with Christ. Sixth, we need to learn to distinguish a genuine psychological need, such as cheerful surroundings, from an obsession. Seventh, we must grow in our discernment between desires that spring from Heavenly Love and those arising from the love of money. Eighth, by an act of the will we must still every motion that is centered in greed.

When I read Foster’s words, I felt understood, and even better, that someone had put my fledgling feelings to proper words and fuller, richer explanation. He showed me why it was I felt discontent, and how it could be not merely okay, but a good thing. What resulted was a feeling immense relief and thankfulness. I hope that my discontent may help to motivate me and bring about the changes that are for good. May we also ask for this divine discontent, a deep restlessness, so that we may find ourselves fighting the good fight in fullness of faith, reckless though it may even be or seem!

This concludes my posts on Foster’s book. I’ll check back in the comments, so feel free to continue discussion there, or shoot me an email… because I certainly enjoy the conversations.

Saturday, March 15, 2008

on contentment.

One of the most profound effects of inward simplicity is the rise of an amazing spirit of contentment… To live in contentment means we can opt out of the status race and the maddening pace that is its necessary partner. We can shout "No!" to the insanity which chants, "More, more, more!" We can rest contented in the gracious provision of God… Think of the misery that comes into our lives by our restless gnawing greed. We plunge ourselves into enormous debt and then take two and three jobs to stay afloat. We uproot our families with unnecessary moves just so we can have a more prestigious house. We grasp and grab and never have enough. And most destructive of all, our flashy cars and sports spectaculars and backyard pools have a way of crowding out much interest in civil rights or inner city poverty or the starved masses of India. Greed has a way of severing the cords of compassion… But we do not need to be imprisoned to avarice. We can be ushered into a life of peace and serenity. With Paul we can say, "If we have food and clothing, with these we shall be content." (1 Tim 6:8)

Contentment. An elusive concept for me. An elusive concept for the mentality of most Americans. Everyone wants to climb the ladder. Move into a better home, a better job, with a better income. But me? I’m not climbing. I reckon when I return to the States, I still may never start that ascent to the Elysian fields of coveted careers and professional prosperity. I suspect such bliss would elude just as it deludes. Yet what strikes me about this piece on contentment is the connection Foster makes between it and compassion. If we are never content in our own status and standard of living, how can we genuinely think of others? Doesn’t our own discontent, resulting in reaching and grasping in greed, numb us to the harsh realities that others face outside of our “Lexus cages”? Having our thoughts consumed with consumerism, our hearts grow cold to the heat others are facing. If consumerism eats us alive, it does so by only making us our own enemy through self-absorption and never-ending selfishness.
Contentment as an expression of inward simplicity, ushering in a beautiful serenity, is what I’d like to reach and grasp for. I would even be greedy for simplicity in my heart if I could be so, if only to increase the distance between me and the possible collapse and numbing of all compassion and tenderheartedness… without which, how can I be human?

Friday, March 14, 2008

lessons from the Old impart vision for life after the New.

“The lessons of the manna were clear: trust God implicitly, no hoarding permitted, and – most pointed of all – no greed allowed. There were to be equal portions for all. The reason for equal portions is so practical: it eliminates the occasion for covetousness, jealousy, and division. And it is this principle of equality that Paul stresses so vigorously. What should the principle mean for us today? Inequity in the Christian fellowship is so blatant as to need no demonstration. Millions of our Christian brothers and sisters in Asia, Africa, and Latin America barely escape starvation – many do not escape – not to mention their lack of health care and education. Dare we sit back in our comfort and ease, debating the color of our padded pews, while this scandal exists? No, of course we must do something. But the real difficulty is exactly how to respond to the problem… For those who do not feel total divestiture is right for them, I offer three suggestions. First, we could establish as a budget policy a goal of giving as much to others as we spend on ourselves… Second, we could develop an ongoing relationship with an economically poor church… Third, we could set aside one special year as a Jubilee, in which we try to give all we possibly can to a particular work.”

Equality. Commonality. Again, we return to our theme of shared life. Foster suggests, dreams, sends out a clarion call for shared life beyond our home, beyond our closest friends and families, beyond our small groups and churches, beyond our countries… He speaks of bringing equality and shared life with those around this globe.
I remember being in a seminar on the New Testament in college. One student, an atheist, stated that he didn’t see anyone he knew following Jesus’ call to give up everything he owned to follow Him, the call Jesus made to one rich young ruler. He suggested that if he ever DID see a professed Christian doing this, giving up all their possessions, all their money, everything… to follow Jesus…. he might start to believe. Of course I can’t address this person’s heart or evaluate the truthfulness or likelihood of his claim. And of course we can talk about the danger of extremes, but I tend to want to push the envelope… Foster suggests it may indeed be God’s call on a few to live a life of poverty. That perhaps some churches might decide on total divestiture. But perhaps that is not the call of everyone. I am not sure that the followers of Jesus we see throughout the New Testament all lived lives of poverty, or truly did as that young ruler was asked to do, to give up everything they owned… all their riches, all their possessions, their entire livelihood. But isn’t it interesting that we want to justify our decisions rather than consider the possibilities that maybe we need to be a little more “extreme” in our following of Christ? When this classmate of mine made this statement, he was sitting nearby to myself. It was unmistakable to me that he looked in my direction, curious perhaps if I would say something as a response. (Everyone knew I was a believer.)
But I couldn’t. I had nothing to say. Because I thought, maybe he’s right. Maybe he has a point. Maybe believers are not giving up what we should give up. Maybe we are not living the lives we should live. It may not be poverty we are called to, a Franciscan-like life. But perhaps I have been too content with the status quo. Perhaps the entire Christian world has been too content with our wealth, our buildings, our stuff, our things. Perhaps “things” have dulled our hearts and minds.
So let’s consider, how to awaken to the extreme call for shared life, sacrifice, community spanning across borders and oceans… How can we live in a way, corporately, to share with our brothers and sisters in this world? Foster gives a few suggestions, which I find interesting. Because the problem is not in the fact of an inequality in earnings/money/income. The problem is the stewardship of those earnings.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

naming.

"In our concern for simplicity of speech, I would also like to raise the matter of the naming of our [church buildings/fellowship groups]... I know that naming is a way of describing the distinctive emphasis of a group, but I am concerned that we do not claim more than we can possibly deliver. The usual pattern in the Scripture is to give a new name to someone after his or her transformation has occurred."

There’s that bit in Revelation that talks about being given a new name on a white stone. Perhaps because only in the new heaven and earth will our own transformations be complete. In addition, because only God knows us, inside and out, surely better than our parents did when they named us after only having met us! The names God gives would be weighty, like a stone, because these names would reflect the summation of His knowledge of us.
Why is naming so significant, especially in the Scripture? Do you feel defined by your own name? I have come to enjoy my name very much. I like how it is spelled, I like what it means. (I was always hoping there was some grand significance to why my parents chose my particular name… but ended up disappointed in learning such was not the case.)
Look at the church around the world – replete with different names. Communities identify themselves with some “idea” or “group” or even “person”… why? Because they want to be associated with that idea or group or person. It’s a witness, an identification, even a level of conformity. But what if they name it out of a desire to be associated with that good thing, but then fail to be that good thing? Or if the group or person they associated themselves with fails to live up to their expectations, tainting their own name?
Let’s consider these questions through the example of marriage. The wife traditionally takes on the family name of her husband. What does this mean? Sure, there is this association for the society to know that these two people are married, they live together, they are committed to each other, etc. It’s an external witness, yes. But isn’t it also internal? More specifically, isn’t there an internal transformation in each person? Isn’t the wife saying that the name she is taking on is a name worthy to take? One that is respected, honored by others, a word that when heard brings the quality and character of its owner to one’s mind. But there is trust… the wife has to trust the man bearing that name. That he would have a good reputation, that others would have praiseworthy things to say about the man who bears it, and that these things although only shadows would accurately reflect the substance of her husband. This trust, this relinquishing of one identity for another, is an internal movement just as it is an external one.
To take a name on oneself, there should be also a striving to not tarnish that name, but to only bring more honor and respect to the family by one’s conduct and character. The husband must likewise trust the wife to be able to bring honor and respect to his name. (I’m thinking of Proverbs 31 here.) He likewise must know her character, her substance, to be able to want her to be identified so closely with him and be a part of his family. (What constitutes the respect and the honor is another discussion; for me I would say, respect and honor stems from living a life that brings glory to God.)
I know nowadays reputation, heritage, and honor are somewhat foreign concepts, and my thoughts may seem antiquated and irrelevant. But I feel there is significance to names and the process of naming. Foster thinks so too. The naming of a community, a church, must be done carefully… and as he said, only after one knows the quality of that community, what God does in and through that community…. Just like a woman only will take on the name of a man after she knows something about the quality of that name and the person with that name.
So where is simplicity in all of this? I think we find the simplicity in stripping away all the trappings of labels, some which may be inaccurate and complete misrepresentations, devoid of meaning or substance, unreflective of one’s true nature. Taking on a name is about knowledge; let our priority be in knowing ourselves, as individuals and communities, which necessitates knowing our Creator. We let God speak His words, and let the process of naming come from Him, rest on Him, and not on our innovation or desires to be, or appear to be, something we are not yet, never will be, or never should be.

Wednesday, March 12, 2008

sharing life.

"While individual effort is good, it is always limited. There are things that we can do together that we cannot possibly do alone. God has so arranged human life that we are dependent upon one another to come into all that he desires of us. We need each other’s help in order to know how to love God. We need each other’s help in order to know how to love our neighbor. Lone Ranger Christianity is a contradiction in terms."

Here Foster affirms what I expounded on in my previous post: people are made to increase our capacity to love God. We are in need of people. God gave community for a reason. The community is a good thing, a purposeful thing…. And part of this purpose for each of us individually involves doing life together with others. We are meant to meet each other’s needs – financial, material, emotional, spiritual, physical. We are meant to have things in common, for the sake of others and oneself. Commonality, or sharing, is a way of living in generosity and love, while also keeping our own grasp of “things” from being too tight lest we forget the “things” are never ours; we are stewards. These things don’t go with us beyond the grave, so why give them greater significance, like that we’d give of a living being? We share life because it is a gift, as are the people we share it with, and in sharing we affirm in them, “yes, you are valued, valued enough to impact and shape my life.” We share life because Jesus shared his. He shared meals, he shared his talents, he shared his wisdom and understanding, he shared time, he shared experiences, he shared in others’ agonies, he shared the life that is given through his blood. He’s sharing eternity with us. (Why is it so hard for us to share the mere temporal with one another?)

Tuesday, March 11, 2008

balance through fasting.

Fasting helps to give us balance. It makes us more keenly sensitive to the whole of life, so that we do not become obsessed with our consumer mentality. It is something of an inner alarm to help us hold our priorities straight, to give us a sense of spiritual sensitivity… For example, there is a great need today to learn to fast from people. Most of us have a tendency to devour others, and usually we get severe heartburn from it. I suggest that we experience times of fasting from people not because we are antisocial, but precisely because we love people intently and when we are with them we want to be able to do them good, and not harm. Thomas Merton said, “It is in deep solitude that I find the gentleness with which I can truly love my brothers… Solitude and silence teach me to love my brothers for what they are, not what they say.”

How often I find myself in this consumer mentality around people! I want people to talk to, to empathize, or to validate me, make me feel significant, or to give me love, affection…. I want I want I want. What good is this for me or the other person if this is all that drives me? There is wisdom here for me, who often turns to people as a crutch. Fasting gives balance and increases significance. After fasting, the food abstained from is sweeter, more delicious. The contrast of the lack heightens the pleasure. The lack also reveals the weaknesses, the places that need healing or growth that have been hidden by a filling of something….be it with food, entertainment, pleasure, feelings, distractions, or for me, with people.
I love the Merton quote here. We love one another for each of us is made in the image of God. We love one another for each other’s uniqueness. For each other’s beauty. For each other’s hearts and minds. For the reflection they give us of Christ. This is what man is. We love one another for increasing our capacity to love God, to love the good and the true and beautiful… an increase that must flow from more than mere words. What do the words “I love you” mean if they are separated from the quiddity of the person saying them, or the quintessence of love qua love? They disperse into thin air, dead, without the what-ness. The love of Christ is a what-ness. It is an action, a sacrifice, and it holds for eternity.

Saturday, March 08, 2008

"thingification."

"Christian simplicity demands that we break free of this “thingification.” But how do we do it? Here are some suggestions…
First, join the joyful happy revolt against the modern propaganda machine…
Second, I propose an exercise which many have found liberating. When you decide that it is right for you to purchase a particular item, see if God will not bring it to you without your having to buy it… The point is not that [we are] unable to buy [something]; [we] could have done that quite easily. But [we] want to learn how to pray in ways that might release money for other purposes… Once a decision is made to secure a particular item, hold it before God in prayer for perhaps a week. If it comes, bless God; if not, reevaluate your need for it; and if you still feel that you should have it, go ahead and purchase the item. One clear advantage to this approach is that it effectively ends all impulse buying. It gives time for reflection so that God can teach us if the desire is unnecessary. Another obvious benefit is the way in which it integrates the life of devotion with the life of service. The supply of our material needs becomes an exciting venture of faith…. One small counsel: it is probably wise to give the money you would have spent on the object to the poor in order to avoid the slightest thought of this as a means of material gain…
Third, stress the quality of life above the quantity of life…
Fourth, make recreation healthy, happy, and gadget-free…
Fifth, learn to eat sensibly and sensitively…
Sixth, know the difference between significant travel and self-indulgent travel…
Seventh, buy things for their usefulness rather than their status…
One final word needs to be said. Simplicity does not necessarily mean cheapness. Simplicity resonates more easily with concerns for durability, usability, and beauty."

I love this section. Foster gives lots of great, practical advice for breaking free of “thingification.” For me personally, my attention was caught most by his second and sixth points. The second was intriguing because I think Americans generally would never think this way. We are, as a culture, impulse buyers. Everything is, literally, just about a mouse click away. Wanting to buy a new CD? A new book? A new pair of shoes? A car? Drive down the road to the closest mall that’s only 0.2 miles away or hop online to your favorite online dealer. Really… there is no waiting in our culture. Here is where Belarus is different: when I don’t have something I want or even need, I sometimes just go without. Case in point: I have a microwave in my apartment. I use it almost every day. I use it to heat up a small amount of leftovers or milk to froth for my coffee or to melt butter when baking or….any number of reasons. This week my microwave broke. I suddenly realized how much I used it after one day, when I tried to use it 3 times and kept getting frustrated because every time I forgot it didn’t work anymore. I don’t know if my landlord will fix it. We haven’t called him. There is no point in me buying a new one – I’m leaving in a little over 2 months. So I’m living without… In America, I would have popped in my car, driven to the closet mall and bought a new one. Really. But now? Now I’m thinking it wouldn’t be a bad idea to just ask my heavenly Dad if he might like to fix my microwave… or maybe He just wants to help me simplify and learn by doing without. (After all, most people I know in Belarus DON’T have microwaves.)
But what Foster says is even more intriguing… because he says to take that money that you would have used in a split second to buy that new microwave or pair of gloves or whatever and give it to charity…. Talk about practical! Talk about awesome! It’s not just about God meeting MY (your) needs. It’s also about how He might use ME (you) to meet someone else’s….
The sixth point also caught my attention because it made me stop and think and evaluate my life. I love to travel. You could say, in a sense, I’m a world traveler. Facebook tells me I’ve been to about one fourth of the world. Whenever I had the desire or opportunity to travel, I never turned it down. I always wanted the adventure, the new experience. Belarus has been the most significant time I’ve “traveled” for a purpose other than pleasure. I have to now ask myself… just because I can travel, should I? And if I do, how can I make it significant and not just self-indulgent? Foster gave great recommendations, like moving away from the travel brochures and museums and meeting locals, helping the needy in a new place, etc. In my travel, even the travel that was motivated by my own desire for fun and adventure, I can testify to the fact that it has oftentimes been used for His glory. I’ve had or been present for meetings or conversations with fellow travelers or locals that gave the opportunity to share about things of eternal significance. But I wasn’t necessarily looking for it… maybe I should, maybe I should ask for it…
What point is a challenge for you? What can you do today, this month, this year, to implement it and a greater simplicity into your life?

Thursday, March 06, 2008

risking legalism.

"Is it any wonder that we struggle and strain in an attempt to express exterior simplicity? Unquestionably, this enterprise is fraught with many pitfalls and dangers. But we must not shrink back from our task. We must risk the danger of legalism, because to refuse establishes a legalism in defense of the status quo. Until we become specific we have not spoken the word of truth that liberates."

The existing states of affairs should never be settled upon. This side of heaven, we must strive for something more. But what is this more? Often times, it seems to me, the more is about less. In wanting more than the status quo, I want a changed world, a changed self, a changed reality… I want less possessions and more significance, less to do and more time to savor, less damage and more healing, less superficiality and more depth, less commercialism and more creativity, less pride and more humility, less baggage and more freedom, less finger-pointing and more forgiveness, less apathy and more love.
Foster here talks about the less, the external simplicity, caring not for what the world tells you is success, happiness, or peaceful life, all wrapped in packages of dollar bills. But as he says at the end of this paragraph, we must be specific. Some may call is legalistic, but sometimes you need the rules, the discipline, before you can find your freedom to live without them. Sometimes it might be most beneficial to deny oneself as a rule, very specifically, in order to retrain how we think, act, and react to the world around us.

joy, not grit.

"Joy, not grit, is the hallmark of holy obedience. We need to be lighthearted in what we do to avoid taking ourselves too seriously. It is a cheerful revolt against self and pride. Our work is jubilant, carefree, merry. Utter abandonment to God is done freely and with celebration. And so I urge you to enjoy the ministry of self-surrender. Don’t push too hard. Hold this work lightly, joyfully…. You know, of course, that [we] are not speaking of a silly, superficial, bubbly kind of joy like that flaunted in modern society. No, this is a deep, resonant joy that has been shaped and tempered by the fires of suffering and sorrow – joy through the cross, joy because of the cross."

p.128-129 in Freedom of Simplicity

How often I experience a lack of joy in my own life, and witness many joy-less Christians… we become overwhelmed with our troubles, let pessimism take over in our hearts, and find ourselves ruing our failings with ever-increasing despair. It is this last point that Foster seems to address, and I think his words are beneficial – we need to avoid at times taking ourselves too seriously, not to push so hard… We’re never going to get it all just right. It’s not that we need to always plaster on a happy face or stop wanting to grow… no, but we need to come again to that cross, and see the victory already won… and leave a changed person, one with joy, with hope, that despite our perpetual failings and short-comings, we’re accepted, the world is overcome,… The cross gives us joy because joy is found in His presence. This is simplicity of heart… merriment in following after the One who made all joys, conquered all troubles, and redeems all man’s short-comings.

Wednesday, March 05, 2008

flash snow fall.


We had a furious flash snow fall yesterday. I was caught outside in it, without a hat or a hood on my coat, and of course without an umbrella. I found refuge under a tree to take some pictures. (I’ve been carrying my camera around with me everywhere… I just get too self-conscious sometimes to pull it out.)
Today, snow is melted, sun is shining across clear, blue skies. (Such a rarity for Belarus!)

I recently finished reading a book called Freedom of Simplicity by Richard Foster. This book was wonderful to read for this season leading up to Easter. The first half deals with the theology of simplicity, while the second half of the book deals with application. In the second half, he looks at three areas for living in simplicity’s freedom: inward, outward, and corporate simplicity. I found myself dog-earring a plethora of passages. I’ve decided to do a short series of blog posts on a variety of quotes from this book with my own personal commentary and reflections. So check back this week and please, join in the conversation in the comments!