flux, influx

there is a fair amount of flux going on in my life right now. Friends returning to KY, friends leaving KY, making new friends in KY, visiting old friends in other states. Helping my sister and a few other friends move, preparing to move myself in 2 months, moving into a new church building. Helping to plan a friend's fall wedding, getting ready to take pictures at a second wedding. Getting more money, getting rid of a lot of money. Acquiring more possessions, giving away more possessions. Content and happy one moment, dejected and confused the next. These fluctuations are fairly normal, but they're all happening at once and thus make them seem abnormal or more intense.

i think i'd rather be a mother than an admin coordinator at valvoline
i think i'd rather be a grad student than a mother
i think i'd rather be a traveling vagabond than a grad student
i think i'd rather do something truly meaningful and fulfilling than be a vagabond.

*yes, i know i'm ridiculous! i hear it every day!

what interesting things have been happening?? well... got my fifth request to be a bridesmaid! wahoo! yay lizzy & james! i have taken to going on late night jogs with Alyosha, and it feels great. i just bought myself a set of dumbells and am really enjoying working out again. i've been writing bad poetry. i've been having challenging theological discussions. i went to see As You Like It and Fiddler on the Roof at the Lexington Shakespeare Festival. i discovered a new fun coffee shop downtown. i bought a plane ticket to Pensacola.
all pretty exciting stuff.

i think one of the more difficult, surprisingly so, things about post-college life is the tension of making [executive] decisions and having others look in on your decisions and pass judgment on them simply because the decisions being made may seem ridiculous or unwise or uncomfortable for those who used to influence or approve or disapprove of your decisions. this is not just family. this is also friends and acquaintances. and the one side of my brain says, they have a good point there, maybe i should listen to their advice. and the other side of my brain says, come on now, do what you feel led to do and do it without second guessing yourself or don't let anyone else make you feel inferior or foolish for what you resolved to do.
the other tension is having decisions to make that i don't feel led in any direction and then i do run around like a chicken with its head cut off wondering what the heck i am going to do, and having no where or no one to go to for trusted advice. Sometimes I wish for the words of certain individuals, who, inevitably, I cannot go to for advice or who I have lost touch with for various reasons and am reminded again of this influx of people, in and out of life... valued and treasured one day, gone and unheard of the next...

how about haikus...?

III.b
Wind so proud
Rocking and tossing
The mast’s shroud

V.b
Cicadas echo
Whirring, whistling suddenly
Surround me and cease

VI.a
Orange leaves, red
Sinking beyond grasp
Oar of lead

VI.c
Silent oars sweeping
Skimming, lengthening to grasp
Orange leaves, red, sinking

whoa!

whoa! tomorrow's july! what's going on???

statistics

Inspired by a friend’s tally… (it can actually be fun to sit down and think about)

*20 moves, (soon to be 21), 8 moves were to/from or intra-college/Annapolis moves
*18 residences
*9 single family homes, 5 apartments, 5 rooms in 3 dorms
*8 cities
*7 states (AL, NJ, PA, IL, KY, NC, MD)
*total non-family roommates: 5 (all female)
*total family roommates: 4
*total pet roommates: 3 (all dogs)
*most roommates at one time: 3 (once)
*fewest roommates at one time: 0 (four times)
*former roomies I’m still friends with: all 5
*instances of a roomie bailing on me: 0
*instances of me bailing on a roomie/roomies: 1
*longest in one state: 7 years
*longest in one city: 6 years (twice)
*residences under a year: 11
*shortest in a state/residence: 2.5 months
*evictions: 0
*favorite cities: Annapolis, Lexington, Newtown
*least favorite cities: York, Naperville
*most cramped home: historic Annapolis, Maryland Avenue, 2 bedroom, 1 bath for 4 people. Gotta love those creaky floorboards!

Since everyone is always amazed at how much I drive…. (and travel…)

• Countries traveled to: 20
• Canadian Provinces traveled to: 5 (Ontario, Quebec, Alberta, B.C., Yukon)
• States traveled to: 48
• States not traveled to: 2, Hawaii & Oklahoma
• Most States seen on any one trip: 24
• Major Road trips taken in U.S.: 5
• Total drives of 8+ hours: too many to count
• All-night drives: 5-6
• Total drives between Lexington and Annapolis: 21 at least
• Total weeks of living out of a car or suitcase: 16
• Longest stretch without a shower: 8 days
• Longest travel time: 8 and a half weeks
• Longest road trip: 3 and a half-4 weeks
• Longest distance driven on one trip: 10,000+ miles (almost twice)
• Longest consecutive interval of driving: 28 hours+, Seattle to St. Paul
• Times pulled over: 2
• Interval between being pulled over: less than 15 hours
• Traffic tickets: 1 ($20.00)
• Cars traveled in: GMC Explorer van, Toyota Corolla (Dart), Subaru Forester (Atlas)
• My infamous traffic violation, uncaught: going 75 in a 50mph construction zone in Houston during rush-lunch hour
• Favorite drives: Going-to-the-Sun highway, Glacier Nat’l Park in MT; Route 1 in CA
• National Parks/Monuments/Sites visited: 36
• Favorite time to drive: graveyard shift (midnight-6am)
• Trick to staying awake: Frappuccinos and tootsie roll pops and good dialogue
• Favorite place: I can’t even try
• Place I would never live: Whittier, Alaska
• Where next? Pensacola, FL; Miami, FL; Belarus and Lithuania

poetry

so now i am sure i have weirded everyone out with my poetry, but just think of the exciting possibility that i might want to weird you out even more and put more poetry on my blog! you might just be that lucky. i like alienating people... just kidding....

but lucky are the unlucky they say. at least, i read that phrase the other day. so jesus seems to say, for blessed are they who suffer, mourn, thirst, and pray...

i met up with two Johnnies on Saturday. Emily Schrick (A '04) and Laura Manion (A'04) , the first is here to stay, down at UK; the second was just passiong through along her way, I think she was headed for PA.

we went to Joe Bologna's, the most excellent pizza place in town, and grabbed coffee at the Jo-Beth Cafe.

surreal it is, i might add. meeting up with Johnnies who i have not spoken to in a year, and yet, Johnnies we are still, and able to understand all our little nuances of language and jokes and the ongoing dialogue.

i joined my church on Sunday. (Hooray!) another interesting development in my life, another step, a leap of faith, and ever hopeful and joyful i feel about it.

poetry? we, the ekklesia, the koineia, we are the poetry.

mmm...

Thanks Stuart!

ode to a beer

you drive me crazy with your foamy expression
stealing away my pent up frustration
soothing my inner rumble and growl
i pursue your longneck by a sudden prowl
aimed at capturing your essence,
but your taste only leaves me in a state of transcedence
alaskan glaciers and canadian rockies overtake
the quintessence of this root i cannot mistake
as i find myself drastically elevated
my mind, my thoughts, i cannot contain it
i try to soak the flavor in slowly, savoring
the time that remains, as the waters are gushing
beside my campsite in a world of summer travels gone-by
but soon the brown bottom meets my eye
i smile in joy, in jubilation, in sheer satiation
but the lingering taste is a cruel tantalization...

it's an odd year. 23 that is. summer has weird weather. big, dark storms sweep through and disappear moments later.
i had a wonderful weekend. flowers from laura on friday blew my cover at work... now they're trying to devise a way to make it up to me. visit from joseph all weekend was fabulous. how i miss the unexpected and surprising conversations and moments. truly delightful. i even tried a bourbon ball. how i missed having that while being from kentucky is beyond me. it's not like i avoided trying one like karen who avoided trying ale-8 for years and years. ahh, the stubborn meadors.
now it's back to paper pushing and pebble punching or whatever ingenious phrase you come up with to refer to the daily office grind. and i longingly gaze out the window.

and the violin played on...

and the violin played on...
Originally uploaded by krisde.

the kegs chased them away...

the kegs chased them away...
Originally uploaded by krisde.

joy!

joy!
Originally uploaded by krisde.

Walking down the beach (a.k.a. the aisle)

Walking down the beach (a.k.a. the aisle)
Originally uploaded by krisde.

foreground: Johanna and Jim Thrall
background, left to right: Genevieve, me, Elizabeth, Lisa, Jenny, Justin, Mr Wooley, Sir Robert, Lord Thomas, Chris, Adam, Matt, Dwight

Annunciation

Annunciation

Salvation to all that will is nigh;
That All, which always is all everywhere,
Which cannot sin, and yet all sins must bear,
Which cannot die, yet cannot choose but die,
Lo, faithful virgin, yields Himself to lie
In prison, in thy womb; and though He there
Can take no sin, nor thou give, yet He will wear,
Taken from thence, flesh, which death's force may try.
Ere by the spheres time was created, thou
Wast in His mind, who is thy Son and Brother;
Whom thou conceivst, conceived; yea thou art now
Thy Maker's maker, and thy Father's mother;
Thou hast light in dark, and shutst in little room,
Immensity cloistered in thy dear womb.

-John Donne

We read this poem at bible study monday night, along with a few others [poems] that were awesome as well. i love the wording, the playfulness and interchangeable words and meanings, the twists in perspective it throws at you. then Freya and Jarred came into town en route to Santa Fe. We read this poem over side by side milkshakes at steak n shake at 11 o'clock at night. It was a blast to see them. i am getting used to (delightedly so!) having people wander in and out, dropping in for a visit of several hours or several days. i always wish they or i could stay and be longer, but it is always well all the same. and i have increasing hope and joy at the prospect - the very likely prospects! - of seeing them again soon.
which brings to mind the last weekend, the Spirit-filled celebration with Johanna and Sir Robert as they were married amid family, friends, pelicans, ocean waves, strips of sandy beach, wild horses, white daisys, pink roses, a green dolphin and a lady by the name of drake and the seventh heaven. the festivities were ushered in with cigars and rum and hottubs and funeral games out of the Iliad and bad chick flicks and country karaoke, and ushered out with bubbles and pink glitter glue and 2 kegs chasing them away.

i loved it. i danced, i laughed, but i didn't cry.

stay tuned: photos may soon appear.

new job, good job?

Hello fellow bloggers and friends and family.
so, i have news!
i have officially turned in my resignation from Tower Hill Insurance Group. (yes, i know some of you are cheering already!) I feel pretty good about it. I am going to work at Ashland, Inc. It's an oil company (Valvoline). Well, this is almost irrelevant. I mean, I don't care per se that I am working for an oil company. I think it is a move up from insurance, but... I'm not thrilled either. However, I think the job will be an improvement on all fronts: salary, benefits, job responsibilities, opportunities, practical experience. As for co-workers, my new boss goes to my church, which is an advantage- I know him and know he is a great person. However, I will feel pretty young and inexperienced- everyone I will work with has been with the company for at least 7-10 years. I will be a young newcomer. Furthermore, this place is an office metropolis. That also scares me. Office Space is becoming my world... yikes. This has never been my dream. (if only i knew what it is i dream of!)
As for the job itself, the actual title is "Secretary D" - basically, I will be analyzing financial data/budgeting reports; drafting Excel spreadsheets, charts, and graphs; creating Power Point presentations for the executives; doing internet research about the oil market and the competition; managing the schedules of 4-6 people in my department; and assisting other secretaries with misc stuff. AND there is minimal phone requirements- maybe I'll take messages from my boss' wife, so not a big deal. That is probably the best part... people won't be rude and mean and emotional over the phone with me every hour.

kudos to:
lex friend jennifer for recommending i apply for this job and telling me about it; sjc friend joseph for buying a plane ticket to come see me the weekend of my birthday; lex friend kelly for having me over for margaritas on cinco de mayo, good times; God for the nice weather and answered prayer for a new job!

antithesis

"During a British conference on comparative religions, experts from around the world debated what, if any, belief was unique to the Christian faith. They began eliminating possibilities. Incarnation? Other religions had different versions of gods appearing in human form. Resurrection? Again, other religions had accounts of return from death. The debate went on for some time until C. S. Lewis wandered into the room. "What's the rumpus about?" he asked, and heard in reply that his colleagues were discussing Christianity's unique contribution among world religions. Lewis responded, "Oh, that's easy. It's grace."

After some discussion, the conferees had to agree. The notion of God's love coming to us free of charge, no strings attached, seems to go against every instinct of humanity. The Buddhist eight-fold path, the Hindu doctrine of karma, the Jewish covenant, and Muslim code of law - each of these offers a way to earn approval. Only Christianity dares to make God's love unconditional. "

-interested? www.christiancounterculture.com
-what do you think? let's chat.

no, i didn't write this, but i can at least pray it

Take my life, and let it be consecrated, Lord, to Thee;
Take my moments and my days, let them flow in ceaseless praise.

Take my hands, and let them move at the impulse of Thy love.
Take my feet, and let them be swift and beautiful for Thee.

Take my voice, and let me sing always, only, for my King.
Take my lips, and let them be filled with messages from Thee.

Take my silver and my gold; not a mite would I withhold.
Take my intellect, and use every power as Thou shalt choose.

Take my will, and make it Thine; it shall be no longer mine.
Take my heart, it is Thine own; it shall be Thy royal throne.

Take my love, my Lord, I pour at Thy feet its treasure store;
Take myself, and I will be ever, only, all for Thee.

-"Take My Life and Let It Be" by Frances R. Havergal