mistakes

there is a song lyric I heard today that struck me: "I mistake happiness for blessing..."

How true this sounds. How often I am desiring my own personal happiness, rather than blessedness. How often I too make the mistake of equating happiness with blessing. Therefore, if I am not feeling happy, then I feel that God is not blessing me or perhaps abandoned me or forgotten about me... and for some, I can understand why this mentality would lead to a simple disbelief in God. But happiness is not blessing. And blessing does not always come in the package of happiness. Rather, blessing is for those poor in spirit, those who mourn, the meek, anyone hungry or thirsty for righteousness, the merciful, the pure in heart, the peacemakers, and those persecuted... so sometimes, blessing brings happiness. But it also sometimes brings trials, and yes, even suffering or sadness...

I just want to confess my own desire for happiness at the expense of what my heavenly Father wants to do in and through me... I confess I confuse these two, and too often become self centered, wanting whatever it is I want before concerning myself with what my faithful and loving King wants... and when I am happy, ecstatically happy, this is not an evil... but it also is not confirmation that God is blessing me. I cannot boast in possessing His blessing by virtue of my happiness... He gives and takes His blessing as He wills, and everyone's journey is not always smooth or easy... and the rough spots, when happiness flies away from our hearts for our time, may also be blessing. I cannot see with me eyes what my God sees. Help me Lord to see as you see, and to be humble in your blessing, and also humble in happiness.