community with the Godhead

Last night, I was involved in a study and discussion of Chapter 2 of the book of Acts. An interesting thought came to me about the continuity of community for both the people of God and the Godhead:

Right now in the history of time, the people of God are in community with the Holy Spirit; the Father is in community with the Son who has been exalted to the right hand of his throne since his ascension.

During the life of Jesus, the people of God were in community with the Son; the Father had not yet given the Holy Spirit since this was pre-ascension, pre-Pentecost, so the Father was in community with the Holy Spirit.

(Now this is where it gets a little tricky.)
In the time pre-incarnation, both the Son and the Holy Spirit were still with the Father. Yet clearly we see, as in the OT, examples of the people of God encountering God Himself. Sometimes it was manifested by a pillar of fire, or Moses encountering God in the burning bush or when God "passed by" him in the rock cleft. Then there are instances of a sighting of the "the angel of the Lord" which arguably could be a reference to the Son. There is also the mention of the Spirit of the Lord in Genesis at creation, "hovering over the waters."

So clearly there was some type of community between God and the people of God... Also, there must have been communtiy in the Godhead, at least with the Son and Spirit whose times had not yet come to dwell on earth with man... (but this would not preclude visits...)

But what of the people of God? Were they in community (post-fall) with the Father? It seems that community between God and the people of God was sporadic, whereas the community of Jesus and the people was constant for his 33 years or so of life, and the community of the Spirit and the people is constant for us today. This same continuity of community on earth is not evident in the interim between Fall and Incarnation.

Thoughts? Did the people of God in this interim encounter the entire triune God at different times, or encounter only the Father, or only the Spirit, or...?

And lest I forget, we know that God - the Father - walked in the garden of Eden with Adam and Eve. However, this was pre-fall, so the pre-fall community was perfect, perfect between the Father and the people.

On another note, the State of the Union address is tonight... don't miss it. My roommate who used to live and work in D.C. is all into the political arena... so I am looking forward to watching it with her.

my proverbial debate

Apparently Nikon is ceasing production of most of their film cameras…

There was the advent of CDs which virtually wiped out cassette tapes which had basically obliterated 8-tracks which had replaced records…

The boom of computers and internet enabled us to be in touch with loved ones by the click of a mouse button, via emailing and instant messaging, making letter writing a lost art…

In the first example, little was missed about cassette tapes, 8-tracks, and records except maybe nostalgia.

In the second example, there is something lost as well as something gained. The convenience of email, a perk, also eliminated the artistry of letter writing. The time that is taken to make a letter long-awaited and treasured, lengthy and usually more thoughtful, is replaced by hurried, two-liner responses. Email communication can be appreciated, but it is also not costly.

I am aware that I am particularly sensitive in this area. I’ve heard discussions and am familiar with books that deal with the idea of “love languages.” For those of you that are unfamiliar, there is this philosophy that as humans we like to receive love and show love in different ways… and oftentimes, the receiving party doesn’t realize that how we may show love is not how they always feel the most loved… I am aware of at least 5 types of love languages: gifts, service, quality time, touch, encouragement. Of these five, I know that the one I like to both give and receive (perhaps the most, though maybe another ties with it for the most) is quality time. Quality time, for me, is exemplified by another individual going out of their way from the motive of love and friendship. Sacrifice in terms of time is of more value to me than a sacrifice of money, for example. At least, I feel it is of more value personally. Thus, the time it would take to write me a letter increases my appreciation and gratitude for the said letter and the letter writer. I can appreciate emails, especially when it is clear that someone took a long time writing them, or when sending a letter might be too difficult, but nevertheless it is not the same, something really has been lost.

This same logic I think applied to photography for me. Ah yes, my favorite proverbial debate…

There are many advantages to the digital realm. Yet I am very sad that the advent of digital cameras is now obliterating film and the use of darkrooms. This is where I love to be; I like to spend large quantities of time in the darkroom… even if I can accomplish the same thing by the click of a button. I have more personal satisfaction by giving of my own time and energy, as well as my creative faculties in figuring out how to do a particular manipulation, and judging photos after making several prints to compare side by side and evaluate individually, etc, etc. The effort is more, the learning process is always at play, and thus working in a darkroom becomes a labor of love, quality time well-spent.

I know there are individuals who find computers and software and digital imaging and digital manipulation fascinating and enthralling. I, too, find it fun and at times whimsical. Though I do not think I can say I have learned much except how to routinely navigate through a particular software program… the ειδος of the joy found in a darkroom is zapped in the digital process. The joy of photography is subjugated to the snapping of the photo, the moment entirely. Ansel Adams wrote a series of books about photography. For him, there were three components to photography where your skill, knowledge, and creativity were called upon: the camera, the negative, and the print. The digital process has eliminated 1, arguably 2, of these components.

All this to say… I’m sad that Nikon is going to nearly stop production of film SLR cameras. I’m sad that Kodak is ceasing production on retail photo paper. I’m sad that I may never get to spend a lot of time in the darkroom, and any time I do spend in a darkroom in the future will be underappreciated, misunderstood, and perhaps even be seen as a totally unnecessary waste of time… rather than a labor of love.

I won’t abandon my film SLR cameras, or the darkroom, if I can help it… just as I haven’t given up on letter writing… I will still strive to cultivate and relish both of these arts.

I’m a lone reed…

70,000

My car, "Dart," hit 70,000 miles this morning. Seems like a big milestone. That's approx. 14,000 miles of driving a year, since it's a 2002 model. Ah, but nothing beats the glorious summer of 2003 when I took her for a 10,000 mile stretch along the perimeter of the U.S. of A. Mr. Turnquist and I had a grand time those three and half weeks. (FYI, for interested parties: this road trip aficionado is planning a drive to Annapolis for SJC graduation... if all goes well.)

More reminiscing: I trekked up to Troy, OH on Saturday to visit Missy Skoog, fellow Johnnie, alum, and former roommate that same glorious summer of 2003 when 4 girls managed to cram into a 2 bedroom apartment on Maryland Avenue... and yes, we (Missy-Rhonda-Char-and I) shared 1 bathroom. Fabulous times. Missy and I recalled fondly our disastrous sailing outing when I, the "captain," took unassuming Missy out for her first sail and "successfully" capsized the boat... that's the point of sailing, to capsize, right?? Oh yea, did I mention the coastguard had to come rescue us? Nice looking fellas, those coastguard guys... utterly embarassing. :)

Back to paper pushing for the time being.

reviews

Seussical: wow, what an odd feeling... returning to your old high school's theater to watch a musical, 6 years after being there... and seeing a girl who you remember from church as being about 7 years old playing one of the lead parts... really odd. Overall though, it was an excellent musical, very fun and whimsical. Some of those high schoolers had amazing voices too. So not a waste of my $8.00.

End of the Spear: wow. I don't think I have one major complaint about this movie. It wasn't "action-packed" but I don't think the story lent itself to be that kind of movie, and we need to stop being so ADD about things that we can't focus on a steadily moving plot. Acting was great, cinematography was quite good, script was good, message/storyline was thought-provoking. I got a lot more out of the movie then the same story conveyed in the pages of the book Through Gates of Splendor. I think that having the story told from the perspectives of both Indians and a son of a martyred missionary made a HUGE difference... So all in all, I say go see it.

Don't Waste Your Life by John Piper: Just finished this book two nights ago. (Thanks for loaning, Heidi!) Really great read. It might just ruffle some of your feathers. Which I am all about. Heh. Consider that my disclaimer for quoting the following passage, which I agree with 110%:
"Television is one of the greatest life-wasters of the modern age. And, of course, the Internet is running to catch up, and may have caught up... The main problem with TV is not how much smut is available, though that is a problem. Just the ads are enough to sow fertile seeds of greed and lust, no matter what program you're watching. The greater problem is banality. A mind fed daily on TV diminishes. Your mind was made to know and love God. Its facility for this great calling is ruined by excessive TV. The content is so trivial and so shallow that the capacity of the mind to think worthy thoughts withers, and the capacity of the heart to feel deep emotions shrivels. Neil Postman shows why.

What is happening in America is that television is transforming all serious public business into junk... Television disdains exposition, which is serious, sequential, rational, and complex. It offers instead a mode of discourse in which everything is accessible, simplistic, concrete, and above all, entertaining. As a result, America is the world's first culture in jeopardy of amusing itself to death.

Since we all live in a world created by television, it is almost impossible to see what has happened to us... We have become incapable of handling any great truth reverently and deeply. Magnificent things, especially the glory of God, as David Wells says, rest with a kind of "weightlessness" even on the church..."

Has Mr. Piper peaked your interest, or ruffled your feathers? Well, maybe both. :) I am not a fan of TV in the least. I am convinced that the quality of my life has increased greatly since being cut off from TV... I don't think I've watched TV regularly since high school. I also want to draw a distinction between film and TV. There are some movies that are sheer garbage too, and may have you begging for 2 hours of your life back... (yea, I stole that from you Lauren, because you increase my coolness...) But good film, good movies... promote or provoke thought rather than quell and dispel thought. Occasionally, there is something nice about a film that is just fun and nothing more. Going to a playground, for example, may not provoke a lot of thought but can be refreshing and rewarding. Delighting in the world, other people, is fantastic even if it doesn't propel you into an intellectual inner monologue or discourse. All the same, we shouldn't excuse watching TV when it is zapping our energies, our time, and our priorities... And if your priorities involve TV, then maybe I'd like to talk some more about that... I would be curious to know why it is a priority. Really, now, is anyone of us, as Piper argues so well, going to look back on our life and think, "Gee, I wish I had watched more TV!!!" .... doubtful.

And this is why I want to leave Corporate America. Nothing wrong about it, per se, in its quiddity, but... my soul is weighed down considerably by things for which it was not made to excel in and enjoy...

"lame that I don't have a teleporter"

Quote from Johanna. I was lamenting some usual business items that have actually made me feel ill today and this was her comment. Well, it made me smile.

Teleporters would indeed rock.

Today I go visit my old stomping ground, PLD, to catch a musical... It's called "Seussical" and is based off of the works of Dr. Seuss... I am looking forward to it. I did [technical] theater every semester when I was in high school. It will bring back a lot of memories, especially since I'm going with a friend who was a fellow techie.

Tomorrow I am going to see "End of the Spear," and a review may or may not follow. I've read plenty of reviews already, so I probably will not actually write one now that I reflect on it, since non-conformity is what leads to transforming... but maybe I'll give it a few sentences. Heh.

Now, that brings me to another topic: my reference to non-conformity was indeed Biblical... HOWEVER... it was a clear inaccurate representation of the source text... I came across this the other day when a Belarussian friend asked where the phrase "ivory tower" came from... to be honest, I had only heard the expression maybe once and have never used it personally. Then I was directed here for a meaning, which also indicated that the idiom "ivory tower" was of Biblical origin:

Kings 22:39. Now the rest of the acts of Ahab, and all that he did, and the ivory house which he made, and all the cities that he built, are they not written in the book of the chronicles of the kings of Israel?

Song of Solomon 7:4. Thy neck is as a tower of ivory; thine eyes like the fishpools in Heshbon, by the gate of Bathrabbim: thy nose is as the tower of Lebanon which looketh toward Damascus.

Yet it is not in the least clear to me how this idea of "intellectual isolation" was derived from either of these verses... but somehow, that is what happened.

Parenthesis: I also discovered this site's list of minced oaths, many of Biblical origin... warning: foul words contained therein brother! :P Interesting all the same.

The intended meaning of the text forgotten, a new meaning imposed, and yet it is still Biblical. Not accurately Biblical, I daresay, but nonetheless, the fact that it is "Biblical" still stands, even the if use of the word "Biblical" seems erroneous by many individuals. I find the same thing occurs with the word "catholic." The word "catholic" is accurate to describe Christians of many backgrounds. I, myself, belong to the one holy catholic church. However, nowadays, you say "catholic" and it is assumed that you mean "Roman Catholic" even if this is not the case at all. In fact, many Roman Catholic churches I see have dropped the "Roman" and simply announce their "Catholic"-ity instead. I also know what they mean, that they are a Roman Catholic church, and also catholic, but again, I daresay it is not the entirely accurate use of the word "catholic." Hence, again nowadays, if I tell someone, "I belong to the one holy catholic church" I would get quite a few quizzical looks from Protestants and Roman Catholics alike for thinking that I have aligned myself with Rome. So the meaning of "catholic" has sort of been assumed to be something else, that is, to mean "Roman Catholic" just as the word "Biblical" has sort of been assumed to be something else, that is, to mean "accurately Biblical." Am I making sense?

Language is weird.

addendum: I've now come across the Pope's Encyclical where he discusses a problem of language, and I was pleasantly amused! HT to BHT.

case of the mondays.

on my desk: raspberry smoothie
in my bag: Russian flashcards, Pale Fire
in my stereo: Proof that the Youth are Revolting...

Welcome to Canada, it's the Maple Leaf State.
Canada, oh Canada it's great!
The people are nice and they speak French too.
If you don't like it, man, you sniff glue.
The Great White North, their kilts are plaid,
Hosers take off, it's not half bad.
I want to be where yaks can run free,
Where Royal Mounties can arrest me.
Let's go to Canada, let's leave today,
Canada, oh, Canada, I Si Vous Plait.
They've got trees, and mooses, and sled dogs,
Lots of lumber, and lumberjacks, and logs!
We all think it's kind of a drag,
That you have to go there to get milk in a bag.
They say "eh?" instead of "what?" or "duh?"
That's the mighty power of Canada.
I want to be where lemmings run into the sea,
Where the marmosets can attack me.
Let's go to Canada, let's leave today,
Canada, oh, Canada, I Si Vous Plait.
Please, please, explain to me,
How this all has come to be,
We forgot to mention something here.
Did we say that William Shatner is a native citizen?
And Slurpees made from venison,
That's deer.
Let's go to Canada, let's leave today,
Canada, oh, Canada, I Si Vous Plait.

Gotta love Five Iron Frenzy, old school...

Weekend was decent. 1 movie, 1 nice less-awkward-than-expected social outing that made me nostalgic for St. John's / philosophy / philosophers / conversation / seminar / fellowship / understanding / Texas, 1 visit to Chipotle, scrubbing the kitchen linoleum, 1 walk at midnight (with my furry friend), reading (more AK and Don't Waste Your Life), being cold, 1 lunch at Fazoli's, practicing clarinet (egads!!!)... and that's about it.

Thinking about families. I'll blame all the pregnant women I know. The tally is up to 10, I think. I'm losing track. Heck, I'm even having dreams about being pregnant! Talk about bizarre. It really needs to stop.

A year from now I will remember when it was 60 degrees F in KY on a day in January, and I drove home from work with the sunroof and windows down and pulled out my sunglasses... and that same day it was -20 degrees F in Belarus. yikes.

making the world safe for screw ups

well, maybe I'm not making the world safe for screw ups, but I sure am a screw up and wish the world was understanding that I can't just bounce back (as fast as you can say abracadabra!) by saying a prayer into good-mood-righteous-living.

Not so good day yesterday. If you cry more than once in a day, it's not a good day in my book, and well, I cried thrice. It was a 'sigh,' 'bleh,' and 'whug' all rolled into one. An unexpected medical bill, being stood up (or, forgotten) by a friend for dinner, grocery shopping, bad communication... all a bunch of BLAH. Yesterday should have been Friday.

So there were issues in my screwed up life. Issues on the homefront. On the social scene. In my spiritual life. And though I felt a lot better last night thanks to some Russian lit, some prayer and meditation, and my furry friend, this morning was again rocky. I also realized that sometimes the subject material of a fiction book can really affect you: for instance, reading Crime & Punishment would really mess with my mind and I had to take it in small doses. However, Anna Karenina uplifted my spirits even though it is a dark novel. I think it is because the darkness isn't rampant and overwhelming, it's subtle and sneaky, and in a way, more sinister. So no, I wasn't propelled deeper into depression by reading Anna Karenina last night; I was actually enjoying it. Though I know not everyone would understand this, as my roommate did not.

I am hoping this mood will fade, as I am going to a social engagement tonight that is not my sort of thing... large and awkward where I am largely unknown by those in attendance... but I know it will be good for me to go and meet people and once again get out of my comfortable-introverted-box. Hence, I don't want to be sour and thus ruin the potential of having a good time.

and to think I was so proud of myself for writing posts 6 out of the 7 days last week... and now you all waited and got this. Sorry to disappoint. My well is a bit dry in the writing world.

Getting by thanks to:
-Reading How To Squelch Your Inner Jackass (some crudeness, incase you can't tell by the title, contained therein.) (Comment: I agree with this article hands down. As for the recommended niceties, I've only broken the grocery store one. But I attest it distracts and is best not to do it. However, sometimes I'm desperate, I mean, I LOATHE grocery shopping, so something has to get me through it... and in my iPod-less, discman-less, even walkman-less existence, I have a phone and that's about it.)(HT to BHT.)
-Reading BHT and InternetMonk.com
-Listening to Roper's "Brace Yourself for the Mediocre" album in the car on my way to work. Loud. Very loud.
-Enjoying the clouds, even though I realize I will really miss the sun and clouds and sunrises and sunsets if I go to cold, perpetually overcast Eastern Europe.
-Thinking of more Ben and Jerry's ice cream this evening... mmm Phish Food...
-It's Friday.
-It's payday.

Now, I ask my readers:
Is escapism ever profitable?
For instance, I "escaped" from life by reading Anna Karenina last night. I don't think this was bad; but a lot of escapism I would see as bad. Perhaps it has to do - in my mind - with the presence or absence of thinking. I can escape but be thinking and reflecting, like when reading. But I can escape specifically to avoid thought and just be wrapped up "in an experience" - like in drug use, or even with flipping on the T.V. to just "be entertained." But what say you?

the marriage of conversation and community

"Ultimately conversation is the greatest gift of community... it is conversation that sustains marriage, friendship and congregational life... Most of all, though, it is in conversation that we grow in wisdom, grace and strength. It is through conversation that we are encouraged, that we fill one another with courage...
When genuine conversation happens, it is life to us. In the listening and speaking of conversation we have the capacity for intimacy... Without conversation we are alone - alone in our fears, and worse, alone because we are disconnected from ourselves. Ironically, the truth is that we are connected to ourselves only when we are connected to others; we are capable of true self-knowledge, knowledge that enables us to know and accept the call of God, only when we are in communion with others..."
-quotes from Courage and Calling by Gordon T. Smith

Conversation has helped me recently, helped me to know God's call on my life, which may lead me overseas in the near future, to live in a foreign country and culture... it is the conversation with others, and the solitude with God ("solitude is not the act of being alone; rather it is the event of being alone with God... the prayer of solitude is the prayer of conversation"), which has been invaluable in guiding me to a path that was unlooked for months ago. Now, I think I see this path, and am courageously going to follow it where it leads... to Belarus and beyond. :)
(a la Buzz Lightyear: "to infinity and beyond!" ;)
Praise God for conversation, in community with others and with Him.

Phatic Communication, or, Why not start the new year with a rant?

“Phatic communication, a term first coined by anthropologist Bronislaw Malinowski, is the international linguistic phenomenon of “small talk;” that is, exchanges meant to provide a social connection rather than transmit information. Think about your last ride in an elevator: did everyone suffer silently, or did someone attempt a connection by offering some idle chatter about the weather? That man was engaging in a bit of phatic communication.
The need to connect phatically is almost, but not quite, universal. A recent study from the University of Kansas, for example, found that Germans don’t typically engage in phatic rituals.

But the researchers found that phatic gestures are commonplace in the United States, Japan, and even Iran. And our tendencies to exchange social niceties influence the sort of products we design and use.

Some of today’s most successful products have phatic properties that allow us to connect socially…”

“Phatic interactions abound in the wired community space as well. The advent of camera phones and sites like Flickr only reinforce the trend to moblog the world with mundane photographs. We are wired to connect socially with others, so of course sharing photos is addictive…”

“As phatic devices deluge our daily lives with cheery interpersonal messages, we will eventually develop an immunity to the power of the social network. Just like email, the more messages we receive, the shorter, more selective and delayed our responses will be. Even now, some people choose to hide behind their headphones, brandish their iPods like Harry Potter’s Invisibility Cloak…”

Quotes taken from here.

Though this excerpt comes from the context of an article about technologies, products, and design, the information it relays is quite illuminating. I was not aware of this term “Phatic Communication” until my friend Dwight pointed it out to me… what I was aware of, however, was my dislike for something which ended up being the very thing that is described here as phatic communication. I had vented my annoyances in a few online chats, and now I vent them here…

Here is what I perceive as the strengths of phatic communication: social interaction, encouraging introspection and reflection in the individual.
The flaws: superficiality, and at times, fostering unhealthy egoism and self-centeredness, and further fostering fragmented, overloaded lives (see my previous post on New Years ;)

I look around the web at this phenomenon of blogs. A phenomena that I am a part of, as I also have my own blog and participate in several group blogs. I also notice this outcropping of sites that are geared towards “user-generated content” and “social media” – consider sites like Blogger, Xanga, MySpace, Hi5, Orkut, 43things, Thefacebook, Friendster, LiveJournal, Geocities, Buzznet, Photobucket, and of course, Flickr. I have not even mentioned the other sites where you can host a blog, like Wordpress, Typepad, et al. I am sure this list could go on and on. As a member of at least half of these, I can attest that I – personally – find most of them pointless. Completely pointless.

Let me break this down a bit. The idea behind these sorts of things is one of two things, or both, namely, social interaction or personal web space. The former is self explanatory, the latter is geared for letting others, the world, your avid readers, know who you really are. I read an interesting history of weblogs as passed on to me by Karen, which you can read here
(Though written in 2000, I still find it accurate for the most part.)

So here is what I see as happening: you sign up for the latest site, create a user name and password (which I will inevitably forget), try to navigate through these sites that oftentimes are confusing and are a nightmarish sensory overload, in order to identify who you are, create a profile, and then eventually use this site to make contacts, meet people, exchange email messages, share photos, swap stories. You’re encouraged to do things like “rank” another person on a scale of how close in friendship you are to them, or to give a “testimonial” about this person. This accomplishes 2 things: 1, you are letting the other person know who you are and that this person means something to you, thereby hopefully increasing traffic to your own profile, and 2. bolstering their ego and perhaps yours as well. I, however, get no thrill from seeing someone label me as their friend who I already knew hours or years ago was my friend. However, do I get a thrill out of knowing that there is increased traffic to my profile, my space, where people are reading my thoughts? I think so… and why is this? Why do I enjoy finding I have an increased readership? Ahh, what a difficult question to answer. At the core though is the fulfillment of my longing – and I would argue, everyone’s longing – to belong and to be known.

Here’s the BIG problem I have: people will know me in disjointed pieces, by words alone, and often even this is at a superficial level. Now, I have seen online relationships flourish and grow. But inevitably, if they are to grow, there is going to be a transition to talking to someone on the phone, and from there, to meeting that person… because frankly, something is lost when you are distant from a person physically (at least I am convinced of it). Though I see that some of my friends have such flourishing friendships via online and blogging (I have to give them some credit here!), I find that this is rare, and usually the friendships remain superficial and the individuals misunderstood at best. But this even belies an even bigger beast of a problem: no one can really know us fully. That is, as I believe, no one except God.

I believe there is this incredible longing in everyone to be known, and that this longing is curbed at times by other people, friends, spouses, etc. However, this longing cannot be filled completely apart from God. I believe only God knows us fully as humans, and in His grace, He grants us the ability to know others and be known by others in other ways and in varying degrees. Of course, I would think that a marriage relationship would be the highest possible filling of this longing that exists on earth next to one being known by God. But there is something else beyond the individualism of being known… there is a corporate knowing that evolves as well. All of these sites that thrive on man’s desire for connection, knowability, interaction, conversation and other generic phatic communication, usually strive to also provide a community. There is a community of photographers to comment on your photos, there is a community of friends you gather around yourself, an entire network of contacts that you “know” only because they might be the best friend of the nephew of a teacher who swapped with a new acquaintance their timeshare homes one summer, whose neighbor has a friend in Australia that likes to skydive and who you met in a chat room a month ago. Ever heard of the 6 degrees of Kevin Bacon? Ladies and gentlemen, we now have the 6 degrees of separation between you and the rest of the world… and how well do you know these people? Hardly at all. And how well do they know you? Even less.

Maybe I’m the poison in this scenario; after all, most people love these sites and thrive on them and appear to derive some benefit from them, albeit a benefit I wish could be put into cogent terms that would carry with it some hefty significance. At the moment, I see no significance at all. What I do see is an abstraction from meaningful, intentional community and conversation, characterized by true vulnerability, accountability, and fellowship. I see people latching onto one thing they have in common as though that binds them as soul friends for eternity, which in reality is a farce. All this we do, we pursue, we spend hours online, hours blogging, writing, chatting… to belong and to be known. This drives me crazy because I know there is something more, and I personally want something more than this, and I am becoming increasingly dissatisfied with so many of these sites pitching their new scheme of how to find your next boyfriend or land a job by meeting the right people.

Sadly, yes, networking must still exist and still has utmost importance to some people, especially in the job market or the corporate world. (I can just add this as one more thing to the unwritten list in my head of Why I Hate Corporate America.) But I’m dubious that the sort of networking needed to land you a hot job happens via such a site.

Alright, perhaps you are saying after reading such a whining monstrosity that I should just shut my trap, you know, pull the plug on my blog and retreat into my internet-less, phatic-less land. Truly, I will say back to you, I have considered this very thing. There was a reason I was resistant to the digital camera world. I still have reservations even though I now own such a camera and try to maintain a little photostream at Flickr. However, I have found reasons to like digital photography. I also believe I have reasons to like blogging. Though I say, it has little to do with phatic communication and social interaction. It has more to do with staying in touch with those who I already have an established significant relationship with in the past, as well as creating a place for conversation. Yes, as the good Johnnie alum I am, I wish to resurrect conversation in the blogosphere. I am tired of me just typing away at my own little blog. I am much more in favor of a community blog, which I have seen work (also in varying degrees of profitability) at places like the BHT. (As a side note: while I am stuck in Corporate America, I am thankful for my fellow bloggers who do take the time to jot down their thoughts. I enjoy reading them when I have down time at work, and we all know how much down time I have…)

This is in no way meant to criticize bloggers or those who enjoy the sites. This is my plea to understand how these places are beneficial. I have reaped little, if any, and perhaps arguably, suffered negativity, as a result of our phatic-communication-obsessed culture. Thus, what I really must do is ask questions of myself: what do I want my blog to be? Do I aspire to practice journalism? Do I aspire for a healthy readership, to influence masses of people by my own simple reflections? Do I want commentary from others on my writing and poetry and photography? There are a lot of questions to ask, and a lot of elements to consider. However, I will maintain my blog, because I know others have expressed their pleasure in being able to hear about my life and what is going on in my head. All the same, I would – again, personally – like to do without those places where you will find phatic communication that is steeped in superficiality and only causes to stimulate headaches from forgotten passwords and heartaches from being fed the lie that you, as an individual, are the most important thing in this world, and there is nothing outside of you more important and deserving of your time and energy and true openness…

After all this, I’m thinking that maybe I need to be German.

Great Lewis quote on marriage.

Go, no run, and check out my sister's blog to read this great quote. Fantastic.

I also concur, The Four Loves is an excellent book... at least what I've read... maybe I should finish it this weekend! ;)

"wishes do come true..."

Yes, yes they do... and my wish is to own you. ;) heh.

Be Ye Transformed!

Be Ye Transformed!

Kudos to Johanna for passing this on to me. :)

"... selfishness is suicidal while service of others brings to the soul the supremest possible satisfaction."
-J. Campbell White

for your amusement.

It all started with a cup of caffeine laden coffee at 8:30pm last night…

After chatting with the roommates until around 10:30pm, they head off to bed, and I head off for trash duty. Sunday nights we put the trash out. Problem is we forgot to do it last week. So this means the trash cans are overflowing. I forget this. The bin of recyclables has to be carried outside, downstairs, and around to the side of the house to be deposited in its bin. I think it’ll be faster to do it in one trip instead of two, so I carry the whole bungling load outside… then the wind picks up… next thing you know, plastic, cardboard and paper is flying in the air all over the place. Oh joy. I leave the flown pieces and go straight for the trash can to rid myself of the rest of the load. Problem: the recycling bin is nearly full. ARGH. This means I have to cram all this plastic and metal and paper trash in with my bare hands. Not very easy when undergoing high speed, whipping winds and when the trash can is almost as tall as you…

Second project (after earth-conscious me clean up the blown away papers and plastic that luckily our fence kept from blowing too far away…) was to break down this huge box with slabs of Styrofoam to put in the regular trash… I effectively precariously have to carry an armload of Styrofoam blocks and sheets, towering almost over my head, down our deck stairs. Inevitably a few pieces slide off and I have to stoop and pick them up as I go… not one was to be lost or left behind! I make it to the trash cans when all of a sudden – of course! – a huge gust of wind whips me in front, and the Styrofoam pieces are sent flying against our chain link gate. AHHHHH!!! I am being attacked by huge massive amounts of Styrofoam!!! The Styrofoam and I get pinned against the gate, but eventually I peel myself away so that I can quickly resume and finish my tearing, breaking, squishing of these pieces into the garbage. PHEW. Time to roll the cans to the street…

I go to bed after doing some reading and after recovering from my Styrofoam attack about 11:30pm. It is then I discover that drinking that huge cup o’ caffeine at 9pm on a Sunday night wasn’t the brightest idea. I toss and turn. I turn the radio on. I turn the heater on. I turn the heater off. I toss and turn some more. I turn the radio off. It is then I hear this strange knocking noise outside on the deck… thinking that the wind might be knocking the remaining cardboard box that was left on the deck (after all, there was NO way that sucka was going to fit into the trash can WITH the Styrofoam…), I go outside in the cold and drag this box indoors. Satisfied that perhaps sleep would be had yet, I retire once again to my basement bungalow.

The knocking continues. I get up and spy out my window. AHA! One sneaky piece of Styrofoam had snuck out of my arms unnoticed and was knocking on my door. I retrieve it quickly and come inside.

The knocking continues. I give up at this point on getting rid of the sound. Instead, I turn on a light and start reading. It is around 1:30am.

After finishing the book around 2am, I turn off the light, the heater, the radio, and try to empty my mind of my racing thoughts and tell my body to ignore the caffeine that is trying to keep it awake… I doze off sometime before 3am. Naturally, my alarm goes off at 6:15am… am I getting up? I don’t think so…. I lay around until 7:15am when I spring up realizing that I need to leave for work in 15 minutes. It’s a mad scramble to wash my hair, get dressed, take the dog out, pack my bag, grab something for lunch, grab something for breakfast, and run out the door. I do this in about 15 minutes. I run into my roommate who asks me as I am about to run/trip down the stairs to my car, “why is there Styrofoam all over the yard?”

Oh no.

Oh yes.

The wind was so forceful that it had knocked the lid back off the trash can on the street and strewn ever so annoyingly all the little Styrofoam pieces I had so careful smashed into the can all over our yard and who knows where else and in how many neighbors’ yards… that piece I found outside my door at 1:30am was no straggler that escaped from my arms… it was an omen, a warning, of what mischief the wind was working outside… Oh yes, I am sure my neighbors LOVE their new young neighbors. More evidence, perhaps, that I really do have blonde hair… ;)

What a stellar 12 hours this has been.

2006.

I have been blogging since late 2002. Going into 2003, I created new year's resolutions that fell into the categories of "spiritual," "physical, "mental," and "social," categorizations loosely based off of Luke 2:52. Going into 2004, I had narrowed resolutions down to two items, both "spiritual" in nature. Going into 2005, I basically scrapped resolutions altogether, commenting that "New Years are not particularly significant to me... nothing really changes for me..."

Here are my further musings about going into 2005:

"Sometimes I look forward to the "new year" because of some pending event that I approach with great anticipation. Perhaps it used to be a vacation with family, high school graduation, going to college, going back to college, going to Europe, college graduation, going to Alaska... but as I look at 2005, there is only one thing to look forward to (in the sense of actual events) - and that would be: weddings. I have 3 weddings already scheduled to attend (one each in April, May, June) (and in 3 different states nonetheless: Kentucky, Florida, New York). So I can look forward to those. But as for my personal life, well, just me and Alyosha and an apartment and anticipation only of what God may have in store, because I have nothing myself in store."

So now, in retrospect, I can say it was really 5 weddings, not 3, that I attended in 2005; 2 weddings I helped photograph; 2 friends got engaged; 4 friends had babies; 3 friends got pregnant.

As for some other numbers for myself:
1 move
1 job change
1 trip by car
5 trips by plane
16 visitors to KY
356 + 81 photos uploaded to flickr (2 sites)
2 blog appearance changes
110 blog posts

I guess God had a lot in store for me, the biggest surprise consisting of my recent trip to Belarus over Thanksgiving.

So, will I reinstate resolutions for 2006, you may ask. No, not really. If I have any resolution, it is for my life to be employed in something else, elsewhere, by year's end. Of course, there are always those same things that go around and come around again: "exercise more," "read more," "tailgate less," "travel more," "take more adventures," ...

But when it comes down to it, I'm okay with having less or doing less, if having less is for the sake of having more focus. I have been reading this excellent book The Call by Os Guinness. (I highly recommend it.) The most recent chapter was aptly titled "A Focused Life." Let me include a few excellent quotes:

"The modern world offers an endless range of choice and change, overwhelming traditional simplicities and cohesion...
Life has become a smorgasbord with an endless array of dishes. And more important still, choice is no longer just a state of mind. Choice has become a value, a priority, a right. To be modern is to be addicted to choice and change. These are the unquestioned essence of modern life. Some of the effects of pluralization are devastating but subtle. For example, the increase in choice and change leads to a decrease in commitment and continuity- to everyone and everything. Thus obligation melts into option and givenness into choice. But other effects are terribly obvious-above all the way in which choice and change lead quickly to a sense of fragmentation, saturation, and overload...
The result is not only overload but also a profound loss of unity, solidity, and coherence in life...
In 1941 T.S. Eliot wrote: "Can a lifetime represent a single motive?" If the single motive is our own, the answer to Eliot must be no. We are not wise enough, pure enough, or strong enough to aim and sustain such a single motive over a lifetime. That way lies fanaticism and failure. But if the single motive is the master motivation of God's calling, the answer is yes. In any and all situations, God's call to us is the unchanging and ultimate whence, what, why, and whither of our lives. Calling is a "yes" to God that carries a "no" to the chaos of modern demands..."

This is my desire. A solid, unfragmented, focused life. Sure, there are books I want to read, places I want to travel, people I want to visit, more friends I would like to make, more first-time experiences I would like to have... but ultimately, what I most want for 2006 is a focused life on the One worth focusing on, who never bores me, is never predictable, is not always safe, but nevertheless is always good.

Burbridge fire

Genevieve and Stephanie Burbridge (family/friends)lost their Austin, Texas home and everything else to a fire on Christmas Eve. Check out their site for info and to make donations:
http://burbridgefire.com