you always wanted to know...

what my life was like at work... (which in my book begins when i wake up. waking up is work in of itself....)

*****

6:30am: phone alarm goes off. I turn it off. I’ve had about 6 hours of sleep but it feels like I was sleeping for 40 minutes. Groan.

6:40am: phone alarm goes off again. The dog is staring at me, waiting for me to get up. I return to a random dream that of course I can recall nothing of now.

6:43am: ok ok ok… I’m up.

6:44am: stare out window. No rain. Yet. Time to shower.

7:01am: I can’t find a non wrinkled shirt to wear. Thanks to me, who left all my laundry, some not entirely dry, crammed in a basket on my couch for 36 hours because I refused to put it away yesterday. I hate putting away laundry. Definitely not gonna do it on a Sunday.

7:11am: I turn on my tv to see if New Orleans went under yet. This is perhaps the third time I have turned on my tv all year to watch something other than a movie.

7:17am: Dang. How did it get so late? Technically I should leave my house in about 18 minutes. This never happens.

7:22am: I eat a bowl of cereal. The puppy waits for me to give him the leftover milk.

7:25am: I start ironing a shirt.

7:31am: brushing teeth. Stare out window. It’s raining. I will forego drying my hair.

7:33am: traipse out into the wet with the puppy. He doesn’t like it and quickly comes back inside.

7:37am: I grab my stuff, brown bag lunch, water bottle that I fill with ice cubes, cell phone, etc.

7:39am: Can’t find dog.

7:41am: Dog is hiding under desk. I coax him out, and he makes me feel guilty for ordering him to go to bed by hanging his head down low. I’m such a sucker for the puppy dog eyes.

7:46am: I’m sitting in my car, driving to work. “Nuisance” by John Reuben is on the radio.

8:00am: I pull in the parking lot. Half of the parking lot is blocked off as they are showing off the new racecar that Valvoline is sponsoring. I don’t really care.

8:03am: I’m slightly out of breath and my sore muscles from moving Saturday are reminding me they’re still sore after I walk up three flights of stairs to the fourth floor.

8:05am: computer on, I’m sitting down, pulling up email. I beat my co-workers to work for once.

8:10am: I read my email from gmail.

8:20am: I read my email from work. Check out the headlines from the Wall Street Journal from the daily newsletter.

8:32am: I flip through a couple blogs I check everyday. I make a comment to someone’s blog.

8:50am: I send a fax.

8:52am: I pick up the morning mail drop off.

8:55am: I’m back at my desk. Internet surfing commences.

9:25am: Quick thought flashes through my mind that I might have something to do this morning. I check my work calendar. The only thing scheduled today is “Jeans Day.” I had no jeans without gaping holes in them, so I wore my corduroys and sauconys today. Nothing further to do.

9:27am: I check my personal calendar. Make some notes on things I have to do this week. Back to the internet.

9:54am: I have now read articles about hurricane Katrina, the Iraqi constitution, checked the forecast, looked at random flickr.com photostreams, visited more blogs, contemplated commenting on a stranger’s blog and decided against it, and then became bored. I decide to start writing this log of my day, just for kicks. I need something to keep me busy for the next 7 hours and 6 minutes….

9:59am: I’m caught up on my day. Back to internet surfing. I decide I’ll try and be productive. So I will try to find a spot to go camping next weekend at Cumberland Falls, then maybe, just maybe, make my long awaited goal list for the next year that has, itself, been a goal on my to-do list for about 2 weeks now…

10:06am: My stomach is growling.

11am: I just finished reading an essay, was distracted once by a phone call for co-worker #1. The sky outside that I glimpse through the mini-blinds of my boss’ office is beginning to lighten. My goal list remains unwritten…

11:01am: I think circling the department is in order. My muscles are still sore…

11:08am: Announcement comes over the loudspeakers… strangely reminiscent of grade school… telling everyone to grab a free hot dog and see the cars in the parking lot at 11:30am. Tantalizing offer, really.

11:34am: Finished reading the Automotive Newsletter by email. Did you know that lightweight trucks will be expected to have 28.4 mpg by 2011? Further, did you know Honda is thinking of turning to V-8 engines? And did you know that Subaru plans on introducing a minivan? Doesn’t my job sound so exciting??

11:45am: The department’s intern stops by my desk and we talk about our respective weekends and tofu. She’s a vegetarian and hates it. I’m decidedly not a vegetarian and like it.

11:52am: a car’s engine is roaring outside. Hmm. Maybe I’ll check this out… on my way to leave the building for lunch. Errands on lunch include the bank and stopping at my parent’s house. Loads of fun.

12:57pm: back at my desk. Why did I decide to run my errands today? It was POURING rain. Go figure. It will probably be pouring all week thanks to Katrina. Wooha. My feet are excessively wet. And I didn’t even have the right computer disk with me when I ran my errand, so I have to run the errand again tomorrow. I’m such a dork.

1:08pm: wrote an email to a friend.

1:20pm: stumbled across more random websites.

1:55pm: make copies for co-worker #2. I am the collating, stapling, sorting, copying, paper loading goddess. What would they do without me?

2:08pm: I made a post to my blog, the first today, and this day-long log will be my second when I put it up. I’ve decided to end this log at 5pm, because really, a.) who really cares??, b.) I’m boring myself so I know how you must feel, c.) this is to exemplify the depth of my boredom and seemingly pointless occupation, whereas life gets juicy and interesting after 5pm… so those details would have no place on a blog about boredom plus, d.) I like to leave you in suspense wondering what is so fascinating about my life after 5pm that you don’t get to read about. If only you knew…

2:25pm: finished writing 2 emails… to friends. Received a new update from Automotive Weekly announcing the resignation of some CEO. Clearly it was a memorable headline.

2:42pm: chit chat with co-worker #3. Open up a Word document to start typing my goals…

2:44pm: … goals page remains blank. Boss approaches my desk. Requests I get him organized. This entails, this time, in making cover sheets and dividers with labels for information on Distribution Companies. Time to “get busy.”

3:38pm: Finish “getting the boss organized.”

3:40pm: Second mail run of the day.

3:52pm: make copy of report for co-worker #4. Return original report to executive fella across the hall. Oh-so-exciting. I think I took 40 paces total. I have now “done” (if chit chat counts) something for every co-worker in my department except one. Co-worker #5, Alan, remains aloof and quiet at his computer two cubicles away. He’s actually my favorite co-worker, so you can imagine my immense sadness he hasn’t asked me to update the annual plan percentages or scorecard database or run a trend analysis for him. *sigh.*

4:25pm: Complete my search for a flash drive for co-worker #1. Purchase flash-drive online.

4:43pm: finish a rough goal list. It is very poor and sorely lacking. Probably reflects my extent of clarity, which is also sorely lacking…

4:48pm: boss’ wife calls, take message for boss who has disappeared. Haven’t seen him in about an hour.

4:52pm: sadly, I realize writing this litany of inanities is what made this day pass by tolerably well, and with some interest, albeit minimal at best…

4:53pm: transfer call to boss’ voicemail.

4:54pm: let’s review. How many hours did I work today? Technically, I’m paid for 8. how many were hours were spent being productive for the sake of Valvoline? Mmm… somewhere in the neighborhood of 119 minutes, or slightly less than 2 hours. And that’s being generous. Wow.

4:58pm: Now, approximately 10 hours and 15 minutes later, after amassing over 1,401 written words which delineate the substance of my day, I am shutting down my computer and going home…. Stay tuned for the next installment of the exciting adventures of an administrative coordinator at the Valvoline World HQ: how to man-handle worthless jammed staplers and hormonal beeping Lexmark printers…