waxing jocundity

"But as I look back, I realize that my gaze has been so fixed on each goal that much of the months and days in between have become a blur. I was living life in fast-forward, just getting by until I reached the next summit." -quote from Relevant magazine article online

and for me, i have no summit to look for in the future. so everything is blurry, perpetually blurry. The great challenge: to stop the fast-forward and savor the moments despite how banal they seem... The secondary challenge: to make conscious effort to pursue what i want.
perhaps i do have summits: they consist of coffee dates with friends, trips to new places, late night jogs, ... they are the daily events that exist in the realm outside the norm, events to look forward to. what about now, the ever fleeting ever here now?

aha. abide. for now, abide.
i am constantly flipping out, constantly counseling myself, constantly returning to the same truths, and then inevitably will flip out again. i think i'll just laugh at myself. and because i'm laughing i want to erase this entire post. but i won't... for now.