my halloween

last night I celebrated halloween with friends. I wore a bright yellow t-shirt and an orange scarf. Autumn colors was the theme because people really can't afford costumes and such. I helped to host 15 people or so at my place. I made chili, honey/caramel popcorn balls, and chocolate chip cupcakes with icing - all from scratch.

I also made a jack o lantern.

It was the shizzle.

I also learned Belarussians really don't like pumpkin. But they have never had pumpkin pie American style: from the can... ;) How I would love to have a pumpkin pie ... oh my, what I wouldn't give!

mistakes

there is a song lyric I heard today that struck me: "I mistake happiness for blessing..."

How true this sounds. How often I am desiring my own personal happiness, rather than blessedness. How often I too make the mistake of equating happiness with blessing. Therefore, if I am not feeling happy, then I feel that God is not blessing me or perhaps abandoned me or forgotten about me... and for some, I can understand why this mentality would lead to a simple disbelief in God. But happiness is not blessing. And blessing does not always come in the package of happiness. Rather, blessing is for those poor in spirit, those who mourn, the meek, anyone hungry or thirsty for righteousness, the merciful, the pure in heart, the peacemakers, and those persecuted... so sometimes, blessing brings happiness. But it also sometimes brings trials, and yes, even suffering or sadness...

I just want to confess my own desire for happiness at the expense of what my heavenly Father wants to do in and through me... I confess I confuse these two, and too often become self centered, wanting whatever it is I want before concerning myself with what my faithful and loving King wants... and when I am happy, ecstatically happy, this is not an evil... but it also is not confirmation that God is blessing me. I cannot boast in possessing His blessing by virtue of my happiness... He gives and takes His blessing as He wills, and everyone's journey is not always smooth or easy... and the rough spots, when happiness flies away from our hearts for our time, may also be blessing. I cannot see with me eyes what my God sees. Help me Lord to see as you see, and to be humble in your blessing, and also humble in happiness.

enflamed sky

I was riding a very crowded bus home today at about 5:45pm and for the first time in several weeks saw a sky enflamed at sunset with the colors of pink and red and yellow and a little purple. It was beautiful. Recently the skies have remained overcast, so seeing the sun, and much less a colorful sunset, is now a rarity. But I really needed to see a breathtaking view like that. Stirring my soul to sing praises.

More cultural odditites. Round 2.
-People walk around at all times of the day with open bottles of beer. Since this is illegal in the states, I find this very strange and disconcerting at times. But it also has opened my eyes to how much of a problem there is here with alcoholism. I was with a guy friend and a girl friend last night at around 11pm. We were waiting in the chilly night air for a bus. A young couple walked up. Both were tipsy. The guy was still holding an open bottle and taking swigs. The guy at one point tried to chase down a bus driving away. This is pretty, uh, normal(?). But the worst part was they had their kid with them. Their little boy was dressed in warm clothes and looked normal, or at least, taken decent care of. But for a three or four year old to be walking around with his tipsy parents at 11pm in a big city is really disturbing to me.
-Sales clerks expect you to have correct change. And if you don't, you can expect a loud sigh or look of disgust... and here I am thinking, you're a salesclerk... your JOB is to COUNT CHANGE. really now. But this is the way here. You better have bills of all denominations if you want to keep peace with the check out ladies at the grocery. Also, some grocery/food/candy stores require you to order from one counter (usually by pointing at the product you want on display), then go pay at a second counter across the room (by memorizing the amount they tell you verbally that you owe and/or the weight of your purchase...in Russian of course), and then you must return to the first counter - or sometimes go to a third counter - to pick up your purchase, with your receipt in hand. This is a terribly inefficient system. The only benefit I can see is 1. it provides another job for the lady handling the cash and 2. it prevents petty thievery. Needless to say, I avoid such stores like the plague.
-Oh yea, and I'm still being stared at... sometimes not only for looking like a foreigner, and not just for talking in English a lot, but also for being a clumsy foreigner... .... ...... I fell in the metro yesterday, and last week my hood to my coat got caught in the closed metro doors, immobilizing me from movement until the metro reached the next stop and the doors opened again.... living abroad is a humbling experience.

on another note... I've met the ambassador. And I went to an embassy worker's house. The apartment was like walking into America, and into the pottery barn catalog. The nicest furnitures, appliances, decorations, and of course, American food. Oh my. What an interesting life. Nothing like my new digs, which I hope to move into November 1st. In my new place, the washing machine takes up residence next to the stove, the laundry hangs in the corridor leading to the kitchen or on a chilly balcony, a freezer sits in the living room next to a dusty and old piano - a beast that looks fearsome to even try and play - and dark brown and green rugs are located ... on the walls... :)

Cultural oddities and observations, round 1

-Pineapple in Europe is not nearly as yellow in color as in the States.
-There is a fruit called the “bullet” for its shape. It is a type of melon. Sort of like honeydew or cantaloupe, except it’s white. (It is also very tasty.)
-Elevators are small. But people still cram into them.
-Falling on people and touching them where you don’t intend to is a daily occurrence in the metro. Also, the metro is never “full.” People just push and cram to fit inside, so be prepared to… make way and suffocate. (I actually don’t know if this is a cultural oddity, since I’ve never lived in a city where I had to use a subway daily. But it’s still an oddity for me…)
-It’s not rude to stare at people. And if you make eye contact with the person staring at you, don’t expect them to look away.
-You buy eggs in tens and not dozens.
-Sour cream is completely different here, but people put it on EVERYTHING.
-People also love this drink called kefir… which is basically like sour milk. (are we sensing a trend here? They like their milk products.)
-Girls have a very interesting sense of style. Sometimes, I am duly impressed. Othertimes, I am duly shocked. (You actually wear white cowboy boots with tight jeans rolled up above the knee?? Whaaa??)

a typical day...

A typical day…

It was Tuesday. I had class at 9:45am and was supposed to meet my teacher before class at 9am for some “remedial” work…. (the result of joining a class at the end of August that began in early July…) However, upon arriving at the university, the librarian, who speaks no English, informs us in Russian and with body language that my teacher is sick. After a few minutes we understand that class will be cancelled for both Tuesday and Wednesday. So it is 9:20am or thereabouts and I just spent at least 45 minutes going from home to school and am faced with spending another 45 minutes on the return trip… only to turn around an hour and a half later to go to a friends house for a meeting. WELL… this is not the most desirable option. So after going with my fellow classmates, an American, a Frenchman, and a Japanese fella, to a bakery for coffee, I decide to call my friends I am meeting at 1pm to see about coming over early. Everything was OK with them, so I left about 9:45am to head to their place, about 20-30 minutes away. I get to their apartment building at about 10:05am. My friends are expecting me around that time or closer to 10:15am. I walk into the entryway to get an elevator to the 8th floor. There are two elevators. The first one that is available I walk in, push 8, and the doors close.

Then something funny happens. (Albeit perhaps not altogether atypical…)

The lights go off and the elevator makes this oh-so-comforting sound of the power turning off. (ZZHhhrrrrrmmmmm….) OH GREAT. So I am stuck on the first floor in a dark, closed elevator by myself. (Good thing I’m not claustrophobic.) I remember, luckily, how I was in an elevator with my roommate earlier and we were stuck temporarily – although the lights were on – and I remembered the buttons the lady told us to push to get the doors to open. So I think, I’ll push this “stop” button and then I’ll push “1” and maybe the doors will open like last time. UH… NO. Not so much. So then I push every button I can. I try combinations of buttons. Finally I push the call button and some Russian speaking woman comes over the intercom in the elevator…. Of course…. She is speaking in Russian… very quickly… and I can’t understand a single thing she is saying. (My friends speculated later she was telling me to stop playing around in the elevators… haha.) So I’m telling her in my elementary Russian, “Please…. I speak English…. I only know a little Russian… Do you speak English?” Well…. more Russian. I’m not getting any closer to escaping. I would say at least 5 minutes go by. So I try to force the elevator doors open from the inside. I get them about 5 centimeters cracked and can see the light from the entryway and get a whiff of the air on the outside. (Believe me, the air outside the elevator was so much nicer than the air inside the elevator.) So I start pounding on the elevator doors and talking through the crack… I say in Russian…. “Hello… hello…. Please… hello!!” I can think of nothing else to say. I don’t know how to say “help” or “elevator” or “I’M STUCK”… So at this point… I’m feeling very frustrated. Another 5 minutes go by. Occasionally the Russian woman comes over the intercom. She seems to be saying the same thing to me, but all I can say is, “I don’t understand!!” over and over and over again…. I push buttons again. I start to sing. I pound the doors some more. I look at my (indiglo) watch. 15 minutes have gone by. It’s 10:20 at least. I wonder when my friends will wonder where I am… when they will come looking for me… or I wonder if I will have to wait until 1pm when the meeting is to start to hear my friends come and yell from the confines of this elevator for their help, knowing they will understand my English. It is then, as I ponder my fate for the next 3 hours, that the lights MIRACULOUSLY come on and the doors open. I shoot out as fast as I can, and as I pass the next elevator, I see a Russian fella with a very quizzical look staring at me. He must have come to get an elevator, and mine opened along with the other one. PHEW.

It is when I emerge that I notice…. A piece of paper… hanging over the elevator…. In Russian…. Three words…. I only know the first two that mean: “Does not work.”

YOU KNOW…. It would have been so helpful if this sign were not some handwritten note over the elevator where only tall people might perchance glance to read it… but so this is Belarus and what can I say? It was bound to happen at some point. Everyone I am sure has had the fun of being stuck in the elevator at some point or the other. Some are just not so “fortunate” as me to be stuck 1. Alone, 2. In the dark, 3. Without a cell phone, and 4. With no ability to communicate in the native language.

Just another saga…. A day in the life for a stupid American, eh?? ;) Though at the time, it was certainly an upsetting event, it was later a cause for much laughing and joviality as I re-enacted my broken Russian being spoken through the crack of the elevator doors, in search of understanding listeners and salvation...

post from eastern europe...

I have arrived! After a very long 24-hour period of travel, at 4 airports and on 3 flights, I made my way to Minsk. The city greeted me with green grass and blue skies filled with puffy white clouds. I was told this was the prettiest day all week. I was grateful for the warm welcome. My friends picked me up from the airport. Though exhausted, I was not yet sleepy. My adrenaline was still flowing and kept me alert for a long while. As I sat in this van, driving to the city center (tsentr gorada), talking with friends that I had not seen in a long time, watching the scenery fly by… there was still unbelief that I had arrived! The surreality of the moment has not left me, in a way. My first stop was to meet my roommate, Yulia, and have her take me to our temporary living. The apartment we are in is a 4 room flat that is furnished by an American and Australian couple in Minsk. We can stay here a little while, but it will not be our permanent arrangement. In fact, this place is much nicer than my future living. I will not have so many American appliances and furniture. For now, it is a nice way to transition to Belarussian living. The flat is on the sixth floor of an apartment building, and I am surrounded by many other buildings. I feel as though I am in a suburb of the city, since I cannot see the city’s downtown from here. Did I also mention that the building is purple?
My first night here, I went to the grocery store, their equivalent of a supermarket even though it is still small by American standards. I followed around as my roommate picked out some things to eat. I was not in a position to really know how to make decisions, so I was a lemming for the evening. Back at the flat, there were four of us and we fixed a meal that was pretty American if you asked me – a veggie stir fry. Dinner was followed by chai, of course, and some tasty cookies. Later I went with Yulia to her parents’ house, met her mom, and helped her get stuff to bring back to our place. It was late, after 11:30pm, when we finally got off the bus and came home.
The first morning here, I woke up and thought, where am I? I’m not in KY…. I’m not in AL… I’m not on a plane…. And then I remembered. Oh yea…. I’m in Belarus! …. There was joy at the thought. “The joy of the Lord is your strength.” –Neh. 8:10.
Wednesday I had to go to the university to get things organized. I met Andrei there. Yulia showed me how to navigate the bus system and the metro. Luckily, I remembered enough from last fall to know how to get to my university. Luckily I can also read signs in Russian, even if I don’t know what they mean. It took about 30 minutes to arrive at my university from this flat – 3 stops on a bus, 6 stops on the metro, switch lines, then 1 more stop on the metro. Lastly I only had to walk 2 blocks. The afternoon was really productive. At 1pm, we met up with Krista, another American girl studying at my same university. I will be in her language class, so that is a huge relief to have another American girl who can show me the ropes. Her and Andrei helped me immensely as I filled out paperwork and talked with the university officials. Andrei and I had to get on the metro and deposit my tuition in a bank. Without him, I don’t think I would have ever found this bank. Even Andrei had trouble figuring out where to go. Then we go back to the university. Then I had to get pictures taken. So we go across the street and have my picture taken. Then I get my student ID filled out and ready for approval. Then I have to request admission from the dean… I do so by writing a form letter in Russian. The woman helping me complimented me on my (Russian) handwriting…. (HAHAHA…. Are you laughing Karen???)
After this we are escorted to a different building where I have to hand in my passport and paperwork to get a multiple entry visa – hooray! In the meantime, I have a piece of paper that acts as my registration with the university while my new visa is in process and I am without a passport. It was a very productive day. Afterwards, I was famished with hunger. Andrei and I met up with Natasha at a Slavic restaurant called Lido that I had been to before. We enjoyed lunch and then they helped me buy shampoo and food at the rinock (market). It was getting late but I was not looking forward to going back to my flat – I was enjoying the company so much! - so Natasha invited me over for chai. I saw her place, and we talked for at least an hour… finally my eyes were getting tired and my body was struggling to stay awake… so I left. It was a good time to leave, at sundown, but not yet dark. I found my way on the metro and the bus back to my flat… phew! Long day!
Thursday rolled around. I was going to be by myself the whole day. I had to go to the university to pay more money for my visa and to pick up my student ID. First I had to exchange money. I went to the same place I went with Yulia the first day, but it was 9:40am… and they did not open until 10:30am. I was at a loss of what to do. I walked around the area, and found another bank… it also was not open until 10:30am. Then I walked outside for a bit. But it was raining and I was just getting wet. So I took refuge again inside the market place where the currency exchange was. I decided to wait. I knew if I got on the metro, went to my university, I would have a good chance of finding another place to exchange money nearby…. But I was too nervous…. Afraid that I would not be able to find a place. 10:30am finally rolled around… and I exchanged my money. Back to the metro…
I arrived at the university and had no problems. I even picked up my ID and started to learn my way around the building. I finished up everything by 12:30, and went home. I had the afternoon to myself, so I had some lunch, watched a movie, and did some reading. I attempted again to figure out the internet and unfortunately the computer here and my laptop are unable to connect to the internet. This is frustrating because there are many emails I need to look at and respond to. So instead I type this on my laptop and will try to send it from someone else’s computer. These are the early struggles of living here, but if internet connection is my only trouble here, than I have it good when you think about it… but I know my struggles are just about to begin. I was reminded that I need to enjoy this down time by myself, not having things to run around and do. I spent some time reading the beginning of Isaiah and journaling. I talked for an hour on the phone to my friends Andrei and Lyosha and made plans for Friday and Sunday. Then I watched Pride & Prejudice with Yulia because she loves that movie, as do I, and I had brought it with me. I got to explain some of the jokes to her… but I was immensely impressed that she could follow that fast talking British accent through the whole thing and only had to ask me about maybe 5 things.
Saturday I have no plans again, but perhaps Yulia and I will start looking for a flat together. This morning I made another big hurdle: I did the grocery shopping by myself. I opted to walk home rather than take the bus from the metro station. Then I grabbed a canvas grocery bag and my iPod and trekked the block and a half to the market. I slowly went up and down each aisle, looking at the selection. I picked up some basics: pasta, soup mixes (looks very similar to ramen), frozen veggies, some white French loaf type bread, caramel tea, cookies for the tea, yogurt made in Russia, fruit juices made in Latvia, Lays sour cream and onion potato chips, and a bottled water. I think I did pretty good considering I can’t read most of the labels yet… but I managed thanks to the occasional English and the pictures on the labels.
It is times like these that I can’t imagine what it would be like to be illiterate. It would be a huge disability. It is hard enough for me as it is. But I am learning new phrases, some because I make mistakes. I learned that Vlashna means: it is humid. But Vashna means: it is important. I also learned that Strashna means: scary. But leave out the h sound and say Strasna and it means: passionate. When I was at the university I learned that Posh-lee means: let’s go. As I read signs and consult my phrase book I pick up a few more things. I will be excited for the day that I start to dream and write in Russian. That will be a huge breakthrough for me. I am already talking in jilted English over here. I don’t know if it’s because I am trying to talk as the Belarussians talk in English so they will understand me, or if they are influencing my own way of talking… maybe it’s both. But I am dropping the articles as I talk and it’s kind of funny. (There are no articles in Russian.) I wish someone could just tape record me when I’m not paying attention…. I think even after 3 days my English would sound a lot different. Typing, however, I think is separate from speaking. For now, I feel like my writing is pretty normal. Maybe over time this blog will sound more and more like a foreigner talking… 
Now you have a nice picture of my first few days. Don’t worry: I won’t drone on about the mundanities (did I just make up a word?) of life here in every post. But now you have a picture of how things are. I was told before I came… if I accomplish 1 thing a day, I have had a good day! Things take longer to do over here, partly because of getting around by public transportation, partly because I’m a foreigner, and partly because it’s just cultural. So, I feel good to have gone to the grocery today, even if that is all. I feel REALLY good to have done almost all of my university preparations already. I will start classes on Monday. Here is one problem: the class I am joining started in July. I will be 1-2 months behind. YIKES. I may be lost, but I will work hard. This is just how things are. I was told I could come at any time, and so I thought classes would begin in September. Well… there is a new beginner class in September, but it will only last for 4-6 weeks… and then I would have no class to attend. So it is better to go ahead and join this beginner’s class now… and hope and pray to do well. The other hurdle: the teacher speaks very little English… this will be… very interesting. I know I have other classmates from Japan, Nigeria and Austria, because I met them in the offices over the past few days. We’ll see…
To be continued…

time keeps on slipping...

time feels like it just keeps on slipping away... I am on a bit of a countdown. in almost exactly 1 week, I will be beginning a new journey... heading overseas, studying Russian, meeting new people, living in a new culture... Before embarking on a trip, there is this element of surreality. Unable to grasp the pending actuality of being in a new place and seeing new things... I felt this while sitting on a plane headed to Costa Rica back in 2000. It was one of my first international travel experiences. Though I was on the plane, virtually en route, I couldn't grasp at that moment what standing on Costa Rican soil would be like. Likewise, I know about the country I am going to. I have been there before. I have walked along the downtown streets, rode on the metro, toured universities, taken pictures... but to live there for 1, 2 years?? I cannot grasp this pending reality. There is nervousness and there is excitement. There is joy and apprehension. But no matter what, there is always one constant factor: the Lord is with me wherever I go.

one of those songs that seemed like it was written for me, right now.

January 1, I’ve got a lot of things on my mind
I’m looking at my body through a new spy satellite
Try to lift a finger, but I don’t think I can make the call
So tell me if I move, ‘cause I don’t feel anything at all

So carry me
I’m just a dead man
Lying on the carpet
Can’t find a heartbeat
Make me breathe
I want to be a new man
Tired of the old one
Out with the old plan

I woke up from a dream about an empty funeral
But it was better than the party full of people I didn’t really know
They’ve got hearts to break and burn
Dirty hands to feel the earth
There’s something in my veins
But I can’t seem to make it work…won’t work

So carry me
I’m just a dead man
Lying on the carpet
Can’t find a heartbeat
Make me breathe
I want to be a new man
Tired of the old one
Out with the old plan

Can you find a beat inside of me?
Any pulse?
Getting worse?
Any pulse?
Getting worse?
Inside of me, can you find a beat?

So carry me
I’m just a dead man
Lying on the carpet
Can’t find a heartbeat
Make me breathe
I want to be a new man
Tired of the old one
Out with the old plan

- Jars Of Clay - Dead Man (Carry Me)
From the album Good Monsters

true geekhood.

Come on everyone.... take the GEEK test!
My results:
27.21893% - Total Geek
+ Geekish Tendencies................................≥09%
++ Geek.............................................≥15%
+++ Total Geek......................................≥25%
++++ Major Geek.....................................≥35%
+++++ Super Geek....................................≥45%
++++++ Extreme Geek.................................≥55%
+++++++ Geek God....................................≥65%
+++++++! Dysfunctional Geek.........................≥75%

I'm sure at least one or two of my friends could get over 65%... ;) Take the test and put your score in the comments.

in honor of hawaiian shirt day at the office....

Bob Slydell: You see, what we're trying to do is get a feeling for how people spend their time at work so if you would, would you walk us through a typical day, for you?
Peter Gibbons: Yeah.
Bob Slydell: Great.
Peter Gibbons: Well, I generally come in at least fifteen minutes late, ah, I use the side door - that way Lumbergh can't see me, heh - after that I sorta space out for an hour.
Bob Porter: Da-uh? Space out?
Peter Gibbons: Yeah, I just stare at my desk, but it looks like I'm working. I do that for probably another hour after lunch too, I'd say in a given week I probably only do about fifteen minutes of real, actual, work.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Bob Slydell: I'd like to move us right to Peter Gibbons. We had a chance to meet this young man, and boy that's just a straight shooter with upper management written all over him.
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Ironies abound.

I'm definitely watching Office Space sometime in the near future...

the deed is done.

I've handed in my 2 weeks notice at my employer. I will be leaving shortly... depending on their needs, my last day will be either July 28th or August 2nd.

Three cheers for the end of a vocationally long 14 months, the beginning of a new phase, and freedom (in many of its forms).

"It is for freedom that Christ has set you free..." - Galatians 5:1

God is good! Support raising continues... a struggle though it may be.

Until next time, as they say in Russian, "Paka!"

2447

I was the 2447 person to finish the Bluegrass 10K. I tied with a 10 year old girl. That makes you feel good, doesn't it? ::cough, cough::

I will say this: I achieved my goal! I was not aiming for speed or running against the clock... I was aiming for endurance and running against myself. It was kind of a solitary affair, which is ironic, considering I was surrounded by roughly 3,200 other people. But I drove myself to the race, leaving a quiet, sleepy house behind. I arrived and walked to the starting line by myself. I don't think I said a single word to anyone for at least 2 hours. The whole race, I was by myself. I saw 1 person I knew: my friend Rachel was calling out times at the 2nd mile marker. I caught her eye and waved, but ran on. I didn't stop to walk once. I kept a very slow pace for running. I was overly cautious in the first mile and it took me over 14 minutes. My average pace was around 12.5 minutes overall. I think miles 3 and 4 were the worst: a lot of uphill running, and for the first time, I experienced leg muscle fatigue. Usually it's just the breathing that takes me out... this time, breathing was ok, but the muscles were starting to get to me. They kindly kept fairly silent until the second day after the race, and then they started screaming at me. I am incredibly glad that I did it, and hope I'll be able to participate in a slightly shorter Midsummer Night's Run.

Then it was sort of anticlimactic. You finish, surrounded by people, but you crossed the finish line on your own. No friends or fellow running friends to greet or high five. So I got a banana, an orange, some water, and sat on a grassy knoll outside the courthouse downtown, and stretched. After 15 minutes, I got up, got in my car, and drove home. That was that.

However, props to my roommate Jessica who made a sign cheering me on and drove downtown to show it off... only problem: neither of us saw the other. I didn't find out until I got home, but she's an awesome friend to be so thoughtful and such an encouragement!

weird associations.

As I was driving to and from the wedding in MI last weekend, I passed this ginormous church with an even more ginormous statue out front:



I was not a particular fan of this statue. I'm still trying to figure out why - maybe it's my latent frustration and/or weakness in not being able to understand the motive or purpose for this, or judging the stewardship of their resources as poor or unwise. And maybe I need to get over that. Or maybe it's just because it reminded me of this statue:



Somehow, imagining Christ as a buried giant in mid scream is a bit disconcerting... and yet I believe there are more similarities here than we realize, if we just think of Christ at a different point in his life... but obviously the former statue is much more appealing to the masses, since after all, Christianity and religion is meant to comfort and not confront...

photos soon

Wedding was superb: beautiful and fun. Photos to follow...

You know what else was superb?? Nick Garklavs giving me 4 cds of mixed retro/80s music. My drive home from MI had spectacular accompaniment... Thanks, bearded mountain man! ;) or lumber jack man... or colonial man.... or... :) This 80s dance party is going to HAPPEN in a happenin' way.

"That is why, for Christ's sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong."
-2 Corinthians 12:10