being transformed

of late.

2009-07-07T15:27:00.002-04:00

I've been busy of late, working on a separate blog I'm jointly writing for with my husband. We're chronicling home ownership and everything related. So check us out at: www.twotwentyeight.com/life

challenge.

2009-05-20T15:44:00.003-04:00

I read a wonderful story of a church halfway across the world meeting needs of people in their community…. And then I read the following challenge to think of ways of how we can impact those around us, right here, where each of us lives. I began to dream and recall past dreams of things I wanted to do, people I wanted to impact, ways of service that excite me… here are some of the results of the brainstorm.

1. Community Gardening – I love gardening and while I have much to learn about this, and have even little opportunity at this stage of my life to garden, I want to grow food and herbs and share them with others. This could mean inviting others over for dinner made with produce from my garden, teaching others how to garden by inviting them into my backyard with me, giving away the fruit of my labors to friends, neighbors, and the needy, or finding a communal space to garden with others and develop relationships through the love and toil of gardening.

2. Purposeful Hospitality – I enjoy opening my doors to others. This began in college when I maintained for the most part an open door policy. My close friends knew they could stop in my room, even if I wasn’t there, to use my computer, printer, space for peace and quiet, read books, borrow books, or find a listening ear. Nothing could brighten my day like the discovery upon returning from a class that a friend was sitting on my bed, enjoying my space. There was joy in having “my” space be a shared “our” space. In a similar manner, I love it when people pass through Kentucky and stop in to see me. Not only stop in, but stay over for dinner or the night. I love love love hosting people (and sharing with them the wonderful city I live in)! Or inviting a friend over for a homemade dinner and coffee and conversation... nothing is quite like it. Yet when I also open my doors, I want it to be purposeful. I want to go out of my way to find opportunities to invite others into my home and my life, rather than just wait for those times to come to me. I want to share the love of Christ with others. I want to help meet the needs of others. I want them to be better for having stopped by to stay or accepting the invitation for a meal.

3. Encouraging Notes – I love to write letters, even more than emails. The act of writing versus typing has an aesthetic and pleasing quality to it, almost a relaxing quality, that is lost in the mechanical noises of a keyboard and artificial glare of a computer screen. Furthermore, I know the receiving of a letter brings a surprise to one’s face. When I lived overseas, I was always overjoyed to receive any little letter or package sent my way. I regained my love of letter writing when I was dating Trevor for over 8 months in a absurdly long distance overseas relationship that relied on skype, email, and snail mail to keep us connected. Yet it was the letters that have stayed with me the most. I would like to resurrect the practice in my own life and send notes of love and encouragement, even if just a small hello, to those dear in my life. Whether they live next door or across an ocean, I want them to have the joy of getting mail and to know with more than just a feeling that they truly are extraordinary and specially loved.

4. Artistic Blessing – I love things that are handmade. Last Christmas, my husband and I decided to celebrate not 1, but the full 12 days of Christmas. The practice is one I would love to keep. There is no better way to celebrate the month-long buildup to Christmas known as Advent with a celebration that lasts for days rather than hours - a season of Christmas just as there is a season of Advent. Yet part of our 12 day celebration was a decision to exchange gifts every day – just 1 a day. While some people might get several gifts ON Christmas day, we decided to spread them out. And yet, as an engaged couple planning a wedding, we certainly did not have the money that some families have to splurge on each other with costly gifts. Hence, we necessarily decided that many of the gifts be homemade. I can tell you that I can easily recall all the gifts given to me last year that were homemade... the bought gifts are harder to remember. Being homemade conferred upon them a significance both unique and endearing. The love in homemade gifts is tangible. This differs from bought gifts, when one is often left wondering if the bought gift was something truly picked out for you in love, rather than an afterthought selection grown out of the necessity to give. As an artist (or: aspiring artist) who hopes to launch a store on etsy in the near future, I have a wonderful excuse to make things – not only to sell, but to give away, and to bless others with the giving of my time and energies to create something artistic, something both beautiful and unique like each recipient.

5. Sponsoring a Child - Before my husband and I met, he was already sponsoring a child through World Vision. I have enjoyed starting to get to know our sponsor child who lives in Nicaragua. I still have a desire to sponsor a child now as a couple, and am drawn to Compassion. My sister was able to meet one of her Compassion children in Ethiopia this past April. Knowing their experience and the wonderful things I have heard about how Compassion operates draws me to help and support a child through their organization.

Please feel free to share any of your own ideas of service for your community.

intentional homelessness.

2009-04-15T17:51:00.004-04:00

My friend, J, is experiencing his first few days of a 6-month long stint of living on the streets. He is going homeless, carrying only a backpack with him and $15 cash in his wallet and some trail mix for food to start. His heart is to grow in compassion and serve the Lord. We had the privilege of being there for his last meal and a send off at the greyhound station. Keep him in your prayers and follow his story of homelessness on foundrylife.com

wednesday: trees play tug o' war.

2009-04-15T17:49:00.002-04:00

I played tug of war with a tree today. (I prevailed.) Later the tree amused itself by attempting to steal my hat, but aha! I caught him red-handed. Such were the highlights of this gloomy Wednesday. Yet as I was tugging with this tree, removing the parasitic vines that engulfed what used to be a perfectly healthy holly, I was struck by how this one living plant could be so cruel to steal the life force of another. If I hadn’t been there to rescue that holly, this vine would continue to grapple around the tree, blocking its sunlight and squeezing the very life out of it. Yet, isn’t this the picture of the fallen creation? We have a beautiful earth formed by one who is unparalleled in creativity, yet this earth is at times working against itself. Furthermore, this is what sin does to us – it blocks the sunlight of what is good, the necessary light of life-giving truth, and seeks to choke us with its darkness and clingy nature. While we can hack at its roots and remove it from us, there comes a time when it will, without a doubt, grow back to try and choke us again. With the profundity of this moment still striking me strongly, the thought process descended a little deeper. In the course of my tug of war with the vines on the said holly, suddenly a perfectly formed and delicate bird’s nest tumbled out of the mass of vines to the ground. Discarded leaves, brown pine needles, and even small pieces of plastic had been infused with new purpose as woven elements in this perfect hemisphere that was to be a safe haven and home for baby birds. The mother bird had chosen to build her nest in an area deemed safe, high above the ground, nestled among the intricately woven vines covering the tree below. Unbeknownst to the bird, these vines were a parasite to be extracted by a gardener to save the tree. Again, another picture of sin – not only does sin seek to choke the life out of ourselves, like the vine on the holly, but sin also embroils others into its consequences, consequences meted out and inflicting suffering on, perhaps, innocent others. We can never be so confident that our wrong doings or sin, hidden or exposed, won’t hurt someone or something else around us.

biltmore ave

2009-03-25T16:48:00.002-04:00

Wednesday WRIT!

2009-03-25T16:47:00.001-04:00

With pen in hand, or fingers poised over the keyboard, what exactly compels one to begin speaking silently in written text? While one person may need to write a thesis, another seeks the lyric, a third is yet reporting on factual events. The business of writing is varied in nature and purpose just as the people who choose to write are thus varied. Yet when I become that person, poised over the keyboard, or now, typing at keys sometimes quickly, sometimes drawn out through pauses and careful picking, I have only one agenda - to put my inner world on paper. To give voice to my thoughts and opinions, my questions and doubts, my longings and joys. Writing as revealing inner thoughts becomes instantaneously more personal and intimate than many other genres. Writing is an invitation to others, an open extension of the hand and mind to ponder something I deigned important enough or provoking enough to share... for the mutual understanding with another mind, or discussion, and even scrutiny. Writing, when practiced often, forces me to remain open, specific, personal, and transparent. The desire for expression compels me... a longing to no longer be a lone reed, but to find friends on the journey, to share in my thoughts, and perhaps, be inspired to share their own.

So let’s seek that common ground together. I would be flattered indeed if my words inspire you to write your own thoughts, and to reveal them with the world. For now, I simply accept being a lone reed, typing away, sharing even if there’s no ear to listen or eyes to read. The invitation is always open... for questioning, discussing, and yes, scrutinizing. If I will ever become a writer, the unearthed dream of a once timid ten year old (young enough to be without recourse to know what it would entail), I must practice, often, even when it is nothing but jibberish or something close to dreadful.

I crown the tedious of all work days, that laborious middle day when the week is still getting into full swing but one is already dreaming for the weekend, yes, the tedious Wednesday will now be my blog’s crown for the Wednesday WRIT! My writing, revealing inner thoughts.

Come back and let me share with you...

birds chirping.

2009-03-17T09:02:00.003-04:00

Birds chirping just outside in a small courtyard. Just far enough away, beyond the blinds that shield out the sun's rays, to tantalize with their melody. Spring lures me to herself, away from this electrical box of plastic and metal and glass that I must face in silence. A screen stares back at me, and it might as well be blank. My energy is focused on the interior of my heart and mind. Changes have come and will continue to come. I have a roommate now who is the most gentle, funny, loving and perfectly created and formed being for me. I may soon find out about another living being, a little girl, half a world away in the heat of Africa that may soon become part of my extended family. What joy has come, and yet what more joy awaits. With the birds chirping just outside in a small courtyard, I cannot tear myself from their song and enchantment. Spring, life, newness; song and dancing. The sense of sitting at a desk befuddles me when so much awaits on the other side of this blinded windowed wall. Walls cornering me into a building sunk halfway in the ground, windows beaming across asphalt lots, leaving me yearning for release.

published!

2009-01-18T14:05:00.006-05:00

I was shocked this past winter when I was contacted via flickr.com by a gentleman in Singapore who wanted to publish one of my photos in their January 2009 edition of Silver Kris magazine - an inflight magazine of Singapore Airlines. I was delighted and agreed!

The main focus of this edition was a segment on Vilnius, Lithuania. Since I've been there several times, I have many photos on flickr from there. While he chose one that I couldn't say is an example of my best work, I'm just pleased to be a real paid and published photographer! If only I could get sweet publication deals like this every month...!

Check it out below. Cover of magazine, then the page with my photo. My photo is the middle shot on the left of a chocolate and tea store. My Belarusian friend Yulia is standing with her back to the camera on the left. Lastly, the photo credit! YAY!

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mission conference.

2009-01-13T15:18:00.003-05:00

My home church in Lexington, KY is holding a mission conference this weekend. I somehow ended up on one of the planning committees. As it turns out, I got to handle our publicity and media... which meant I got to have some fun taking pictures. Thanks to brother Chad and friends the Kelleys for their foot and shoe modeling. My friend Laura also ended up being a foot model without realizing it - the photo featuring her feet (and mine) was taken more than a year ago. Big uber thanks to Trevor to make all the pictures come together for our posters in the way I imagined it. swoot!

Enjoy.

on my way to being an aunt!

2009-01-06T08:29:00.004-05:00

2009 is barely here and already I'm much closer to my hope & expectation of becoming a full-fledged, official aunt this year! Yesterday, January 5th, my sister got THE CALL for their Ethiopian adoption referral! There was much rejoicing all around! Go here for more details.

(For legal reasons, we won't be able to post this adorable little girl's photo or any of her biographical info on the internet until my sister and brother-in-law pass court.)

Thanks for prayers - please continue them, that this little girl would be healthy, that they would pass court on their first try, and get a court date scheduled sooner than later! Thanks!

2009!

2009-01-01T09:06:00.003-05:00

I can't say my new year's celebration was the most eventful or crazy. It was rather subdued, but I enjoyed it. Seeing a few friends, and then ringing in the new year at midnight with 3 others whilst playing some board games.

As I look into 2009, I have many expectations, things I am *already* looking forward to!

My list of hopes & expectations for 2009 include:

+To get married!

+To become an aunt!

+To travel! (specifically, I hope to travel to Annapolis in April for croquet and to pick up a beautiful wooden rowing oar I am purchasing!)

+To have some more career changes, and pursue other avenues for income! (freelance photography and writing being foremost in my mind.)

+To grow in my knowledge and love of the Lord and other fascinating people He's put on earth!

+To read a few more books! (Some I'm eagerly looking forward to reading include: Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott, Rainbows for the Fallen World by Calvin Seerveld, Demons by Fyodor Dostoevsky, Simply Christian by N.T. Wright, Works of Love by Soren Kierkegaard, and Between Noon and Three by Robert Farar Capon.
These are all after I finish a few currently in, like Life Together by Dietrich Bonhoeffer, The Brothers Karamazov by Fyodor Dostoevsky, and Jesus for President by Shane Claiborne and Chris Haw. I'll also welcome reading companions for face-to-face or email conversations about any of these picks, so let me know if you are interested!)

2009, I'm glad you finally made it here. I sense you are going to be a *most* excellent year! May we savor every moment.

2008 thanksgivings

2008-12-31T09:59:00.007-05:00

+I am thankful for 5 wonderful months of concluding my ministry in another country

+I am especially thankful for my relationships with Anya and Dasha, and sharing my heart and knowledge of God and the Bible with them

+I am thankful for nearly 16 months of a wonderful adventure with Trevor

+I am thankful I had the opportunity to travel to Hungary

+I am thankful I had the opportunity to return to Belarus in November and also spend time in Lithuania and Germany

+I am thankful that I have been able to donate blood again State-side

+I am thankful that I was able to celebrate Christmas this year with my family and many new wonderful people who will soon be called my family as well

+I am thankful for my Labor Day vacation in Washington, DC and Annapolis, MD with 3 wonderful people

+I am thankful I got to take Anya and Trevor to my favorite beach

+I am thankful for having had the chance to reconnect with many family members and friends far away, after long stretches of time apart - the Johnnies in Cincinnati, DC and Durham; Rachel; Jennifer; Joseph; Molly & Nate; Vita; Lauren & Eian; Robert; Andrei; the Belarusians; family in Alabama...

+I am thankful for friends who were married this year - 4 weddings which I was able to attend, and 6 weddings (2 Belarusian weddings) which I could not attend

+I am thankful for friends who welcomed little children into their lives this year, or who will soon! And of course, that their little ones are healthy and bringing joy to their parents.

+I am thankful for the excitement over engagements - my own and those of at least 2 of my dear friends

+I am especially thankful that the Lord has been faithful to sustain my family through much change, and fills us with joy and hope over the future

+I am very thankful for being healthy, and for my family and friends also being healthy

+I am thankful for a whole summer that I was given to serve Anya while she sojourned here in America

+I am thankful for my grandmother who is about to turn 98!

+I am thankful for my few, new friends in Kentucky

+I am thankful for old friends who are intentional to keep in touch with me

+I am thankful for friends who celebrated Advent with us, and for the Lord making our time sweet and meaningful

+I am thankful for work to pay my bills

+I am thankful for opportunities I have for photography, and sharing this hobby with others

+I am thankful for people who read and comment on my blog, people who care about me, who call me up and ask me how I'm doing. I especially am thankful for those who sent me mail and called me while I was still in Belarus. I am thankful for having felt loved.

+I am thankful for joy-filled surprises this past year

+I am thankful for my dog, Alyosha!

+I am thankful for the Lord's help and protection for my friends in other countries

+I am thankful for the generosity of others showered upon me this past year

+I am thankful for the roof over my head, the warm bed I have to sleep in (yay IKEA!), and food for the table

+I am thankful for all the travel I experienced, and that I was kept safe and secure through it all

+I am thankful for the wonderful music I've been able to enjoy live this year, mainly, Over the Rhine

+I am thankful for those who share my joy and excitement for my upcoming marriage, those who support me in this venture, for those who love Trevor just as they love me, and those who see God's goodness and plan in bringing us together

+I am thankful for every prayer that was prayed on my behalf and the people who prayed

+I am thankful for new experiences

+I am thankful for the churches I have enjoyed being a part of in Belarus and Kentucky. I am also thankful for the individuals who I can gather with every week for fellowship and Bible study.

+I am thankful for God giving me the blessing of being a part of the Kingdom come in Belarus and at home in the States

+I am thankful for Jesus and His love and mercy showered over me and granted to me day by day!

new year 09 already!?

2008-12-31T09:38:00.003-05:00

I am sitting in an office working a fairly new job (this is still my first month), wondering how it is that December 31st is already here and 2009 upon us?!

Many years ago, I would make huge lists of resolutions. Later the list narrowed, then list categories were made, and eventually, the resolutions disappeared altogether, the practice abandoned.

I like to set goals, I think it's a good thing.
I like to reflect, too.
But resolutions just sort of became the be-all, end-all list of everything practical and impractical. And the result is usually just discouragement, or it just gets forgotten and never tackled.

When I was in Belarus in 2006, we rang in 2007 with prayer. I'd like to continue in that vein of thought and heart as well as practice.

I will end 2008 with a list of thanksgivings for this year. Will you join me?

I will then embark into 2009 with a list of things I anticipate, with perhaps a few more realistic goals that I invite accountability on to tackle!

amazing show, amazing venue.

2008-12-23T20:29:00.003-05:00

Trevor + I caught Over the Rhine at a special performance after getting free tickets just for buying and waiting patiently for the delayed release of their Live from Nowhere album Volume Three. It was a small holiday gathering at the former St. Elizabeth's church in Norwood, Ohio. The inside of this church had the exposed brick, peeling walls, and breathtaking stained glass windows. It was funky and fun. They had belgian waffles and coffee brewing for the taking, were raising money for World Vision, and gave an awesome fun show. The place was so packed that Trevor and I ended up sitting in the center aisle of the church, about 15 feet from Karin Bergquist. This was the 5th time we've seen Over the Rhine which has become the semi official band of our relationship. We jump at the chance to take in their music. You feel a part of this wonderful music family... and it's lovely.

They are playing at Ram's Head in Annapolis on February 5th... if you're there, you must go. You won't be disappointed...

this woman is amazing.

2008-12-23T20:26:00.001-05:00

I love Karin Bergquist's voice... and their lyrics are killer.

snow prints.

2008-12-23T20:24:00.002-05:00

Alyosha and his momma walked side by side one early snowy morn at 6am... all was calm, all was quiet... and we were the first to disturb the blanket of snow. Peaceful winter...

BOO!

2008-10-30T23:09:00.001-04:00

pumpkins - BOO!, originally uploaded by krisde.

Happy Halloween. :)

help, someone? (and no, i'm not bothering to ask obama or mccain)

2008-10-28T10:59:00.004-04:00

the presidential election is one week away. pretty hard to believe. and i am becoming convinced that none of the political candidates for any party deserve my vote. i am unconvinced that any of them have the "kingdom values" that i have. so it becomes a decision of either aligning myself with a candidate with whom i dislike but dislike slightly less than the other candidates, or aligning myself with the only person to share my values, Jesus. if anyone has a convincing argument on why i should align myself and give my vote to another messed up human being who will, like every president before and to come, mess up our country and world more, feel free to share. i just feel like rebelling and not voting for unworthy candidates.
if it's about choosing the lesser of two evils, tell me, why even bother choosing an evil, albeit lesser? seriously now. i am on the fence about even voting in this election.
i'm also reading an interesting book, Jesus for President, which I am sure is not helping my undecided-voterness.

what iraqis are saying.

2008-10-20T11:34:00.003-04:00

Leading up to the presidential election in 2004, I read a lot of various blogs about the war in Iraq. There was an American journalist who kept a blog as he followed around a squadron in Baghdad, there were the angry and angst-ridden Iraqis who produced diatribes day in and out on the political situation, and there were reasoned arguments (pro-America and con-America) and observations made by other Iraqi citizens. It was a big melting pot of those both informing and opining.

One blog I always came back to time and time again, Iraq the Model.

Recently, I've been revisiting their stuff. It's interesting to say the least, to read the opinions of Iraqis. Here's their latest installment.

Ordinary Radicals

2008-10-17T10:25:00.002-04:00

Last night, I had the opportunity to view an interesting independent documentary film at the Kentucky Theater called The Ordinary Radicals.

It is unfortunate that they are giving so few viewings of this film, but if you have the chance to see it, I would highly recommend it. I felt that most of the people watching the film who heard about it were not necessarily the ones who should and needed to see this film. The ones who should see this film would be the professing Christians who would get a little disturbed or uncomfortable about the challenges inherent in the documentary's content, or the non-believers who have been put off by the church/Christianity in general or more specifically the hypocrisy therein (or even hypocrisy in me), or thirdly those who perhaps have just become disillusioned/disconnected with their own faith. (If you suspect I have you in mind as you read this, you're right - I do.) Yet for people who want to aspire to be such ordinary radicals and are trying to put their "hands to work and hearts to God," this film was also an encouragement and inspiration in its own right. (I speak personally.) This film, as the director said, would perhaps be a good film to watch alongside of the movie Religulous. I have not yet seen that film, but it appears that two non-Christians find two different angles of showing people of faith. The director posited, however, that his documentary was much more removed in a "google earth" kind of way, not pushing a certain idea, premise, or conclusion.

Some of the most compelling aspects of this project were that, 1, the people behind the film consist of a professing Roman Catholic, a professing Evangelical, and a non-believer. To see how they all dove into a vision for their community (the simple way in Philly/Kensington), together, and for becoming ordinary radicals is encouraging to me. 2, it is fascinating that the director, Jamie, is not a believer, yet feels completely at home with evangelicals and wanted to bring his experiences with them to the screen. This brought up many interesting questions for us both in the Q&A session with him as well as afterwards, at one of our favorite establishments, Common Grounds -- namely, if you take Christ out of this movement, would there be any difference? In the end we had a sort of "yes and no" kind of answer...

If you have thoughts on the role of social justice and caring for people body and soul and the role of the body of Christ, I'd love to hear them. If you have thoughts about this documentary if you've been able to see it, I'd also love to hear them. If you want to see the documentary but are unable to, let me know because I know some people who might be getting a copy you could watch.

Check out the website, linked above, and the trailer, HERE.

You can also check out the site for the book that forms a center to the whole film, Jesus For President, HERE.

forgetfulness?

2008-10-17T10:15:00.004-04:00

I've been asked a few times by different folks if it is hard to drive now that I'm back from Belarus. My reply is usually, no, not really. But I have discovered I am a bit more forgetful and scatter-brained, which could make for poorer driving... I have been known to decide mentally to go one route while driving, then totally miss the street or ramp I was supposed to get on, only realizing it moments or even minutes later, thereby heading in the wrong direction and having to figure out a way to change my route. Or I have just been in one of those "head in the clouds" kind of fogs at other times. Perfect example was a few nights ago. I drive home, pick up Trevor from visitor parking, and we both come to my apartment building, park the car, we get out and go inside. Trevor later leaves in his car back at visitor parking, and I stay in for the night. The next morning I get in the car, while taking a call on my cell. I mentally think, wow, the sun is really bright this morning. My car is so light! So I think, I must have left the sun roof shade open to let the sunlight in through the window in my roof.... but after I hang up, I look up, and no... I had not left the shade open, I had left the sunroof window itself open! All freaking night. And when I got in my car, it was raining. Yes, my console and seats were starting to get wet. What is bizarre, to me, about this situation was that not only did *I* not notice in my head in the clouds kind of state the night before, but neither did Trevor... two of us, completely oblivious to the fact that I was leaving my sunroof open all night long. I just wonder if this forgetfulness, unobservant nature of late has anything to do with my culture adjustments? Or am I just growing forgetful with age? (I am, after all, way past the quarter of a century mark) Hmm.

doctrine / relationship

2008-10-14T10:06:00.006-04:00

"I think God gives us our doctrine [our ideas about God] to see if theology will take the place of relationships with people."

"'Anything you can believe, I can believe better' is the mentality we get into."
-Trevor Durbin

Trevor + I talked about community on one of our recent long drives together. I jotted down these comments he spoke because they resonated with me as profound truth. The reason divisions exist in the church is the belief that one church has doctrine and practice "right" and another "wrong." Or perhaps, one place has it "good" but another church has it "better." We may all admit that we have brothers and sisters in Christ outside of our denomination, but there's a reason we've chosen the church home we have. Do we subconsciously pass judgment on anyone else - another brother or sister - in a different church? I know it doesn't always happen, but I think it can definitely be there. Do we leave room for the preferences of others or do we claim that a difference of opinion (on such "non essential" matters) actually becomes essential, needing to be identical to our own? This can apply to doctrinal beliefs or practice of faith, worship services or music or...

Then the bigger question: what happens to our relationships with other people? Will we show them love and acceptance, and as Justin McRoberts has sung "meet [them] at the cross"? Or will we isolate them from ourselves and "our" community (whether physically or just mentally separating them from ourselves), forgetting that we are also flawed?

Thoughts?

Godfather.

2008-10-14T09:54:00.003-04:00

In our string of movie watches, we've recently watched Rebel Without a Cause, The Maltese Falcon, The Godfather, and The Godfather, Part II.

Now, I hear Part III of The Godfather is not worth watching, so I'm not necessarily going to rent it unless someone would recommend it. As for the first two Godfather movies, both were very good and yet excessively long. It appeared to me that the first was more of a traditional, gunning down kind of Mafia flick, whereas the second was much more vindictive, insidious, two-faced kind of conflict. We always spotted when oranges would pop up in the movie, knowing that shortly after someone was going to die. (I was unaware of this connection before Trevor mentioned it... they appear A LOT in the second movie.)

We had an interesting discussion after Rebel, wondering, why is he without a cause? To me, he seemed to be the only character without an agenda, he was just having to react to his surroundings.

We have The Grapes of Wrath on hand... I'm hoping the movie is better than the book... I had to read that book twice and the first time, as an 8th grader, was painful enough to sort of scar me for a while from reading any more Steinbeck. I have subsequently read Of Mice and Men, and I hear that East of Eden is good, but it hasn't exactly topped my must-read list...

lessons in seeing.

2008-10-10T08:24:00.001-04:00

lessons in seeing., originally uploaded by krisde.

i've been enjoying playing with blurring shots intentionally.

i've also been enjoying a new photographic subject -- other photographers. I like to watch others at work for a shot, to see how they see things, what grabs their eye... and inevitably my eye is grabbed by the one behind the lens... ((it also helps when the one behind the lens is your fiance...))

this shot is perhaps my favorite from my labor day trip to DC - the intentional blur, the silhouette of the photographer, shot at night before a brightly lit edifice of brick and mortar towering over corrupt politicians and innocent children at play alike...

red glow.

2008-10-10T08:22:00.001-04:00

red glow., originally uploaded by krisde.

@ the washington monument in DC at dusk.

splash.

2008-10-07T10:14:00.001-04:00

, originally uploaded by krisde.

check out photos from the national botanical gardens over at my flickr page!

falling.

2008-10-07T10:13:00.001-04:00

, originally uploaded by krisde.

bright orange.

2008-10-07T10:12:00.001-04:00

, originally uploaded by krisde.

2008-09-24T18:36:00.003-04:00

I added Sapporo (Japanese) and Tsingtao (Chinese) to my current beer collection in the fridge... (thanks to an Asian Fusion cooking club last weekened!) This totals 8 different kinds of beer at the moment... My only problem is which to drink first!

new life.

2008-09-19T12:01:00.001-04:00

newness, seen wide., originally uploaded by krisde.

a day at Shaker Village.

blossoms of leaves.

2008-09-19T11:59:00.001-04:00

blossoms of leaves., originally uploaded by krisde.

a day at Red River Gorge.

movie update. reflections on life in the wild vs society

2008-09-18T20:47:00.010-04:00

my quick movie update.

the newest have included:
It Happened One Night - this one I found to be hilarious. A different kind of humor being a movie made decades ago, but very enjoyable.
Sunset Boulevard - a second viewing, a bit Citizen-Kane-ish mixed with Dickens.

I also watched for the first time Into the Wild. Now that is one incredible movie. Depressing and beautiful at the same time. Cinematography... amazing. I highly recommend it... a good movie to think about the lure of a simple life, away from society and all its ugly trappings of competition, money, materialism, consumerism, corporate ladder climbing, bureaucracy, image, familial expectations, and gluttony of everything cheap and worthless...
This simple life is found in solitude, simplicity, and being in the wild of nature...

and yet it's incomplete. The need for community is still there... man is not meant to be alone.

My goal is to live a life in community with others, to enjoy the shared experiences, while boycotting everything ugly that is (occasionally or often, I suppose it depends on your perspective and experience) found in society - the love of money, little regard for the effect our choices have on our world, and little regard for the fragility of the human soul... there needs to be more simplicity, communality, gentleness and love...

I watched this movie with a few friends, two of whom up my hippie cred by their presence around me... and a week ago, we built a compost bin for their yard together. Community + Earth Consciousness + Holy Spirit = Doing Good Things Together with the Love of Christ. YEA!

fridge o beer.

2008-09-18T20:47:00.004-04:00

I opened my fridge today wondering what I could have for dinner. I was limited based on what was available.... milk, eggs, bread, jellies, butter, ... I settled on french toast... a childhood fav. It was then I realized as I glanced in my fridge, that while foodstuffs were sparse, it was the fridge o plenty when it came to alcohol...

My stockpile at this moment includes:
Rolling Rock
Corona Light
Shiner Bock (my favorite)
Yuengling (thank you Trader Joe's in NC!)
Hoegaarden (thanks Michael & Rebekah!)
Boddingtons

I have Mexico, Belgium, St Louis, Pennsylvania, Britain, and Texas represented in my selections. (I also have bottles of the non-alcholic Ale 8-1, a local favorite.)

In addition, I have 6 bottles of wine, 5 of them the "3 buck Chucks" (Charles Shaw) recently purchased at Trader Joe's in NC. Mmm.

Why KY does not have Trader Joe's is beyond me.
Why KY does not import Yuengling, apparently a strictly east coast beer, is also disappointing.
(Why KY also does not import the most amazing ROOT beer, Henry Weinhard's, is also a major letdown in my life.)

I swear I'm not an alcoholic even if it does run in my family... I just love beer. As much as I love Americanos...

So who is coming over to drink with me? :)

striking the sky.

2008-09-09T02:02:00.001-04:00

striking the sky., originally uploaded by krisde.

Old Soviet War Monument.

+++

There are more pictures on my flickr now from this spring in Belarus... I'm slowly catching up to the present and have several hundred photos from the summer I'll be uploading... so keep checking back!

independence prospect.

2008-09-09T02:00:00.001-04:00

independence prospect., originally uploaded by krisde.

Independence day: July 3, 2008. Downtown in Minsk, Belarus.

little window lights.

2008-09-09T01:59:00.001-04:00

little window lights., originally uploaded by krisde.

Belarus, spring 2008.

comings and goings.

2008-08-25T09:38:00.005-04:00

My dear friend Anya from Belarus left yesterday and Lord-willing arrived safely in Kiev, Ukraine about 2 hours ago. We had such a wonderful summer together. I took her to some neat places, most in Kentucky, which included the following highlights... (I recommend checking out every place listed below if you find yourself in the area!)

-The Historic Kentucky Theatre
-The Lexington Farmer's Market
-Shakertown
-Poor Richard's
-Keeneland
-Red River Gorge and Natural Bridge
-Miguel's at the Gorge
-Laurel Lake
-Natasha's Cafe
-Common Grounds
-Alfalfa's
-Henderson State Park in Destin, FL
-The Track in Destin
-Fudpucker's in Destin
-Costa's BBQ in Birmingham, AL
-The Jam House in Scottsville, KY (owned by Mennonites, so they're not on the internet)

As for our movie list, here are the newest additions:

-Lawrence of Arabia
-To Kill a Mockingbird
-The Philadelphia Story (seen in the Historic KY theater!)
-The Graduate
-Singin' in the Rain

I can recommend them all... the cinematography of LoA was amazing... fascinating story.

My apartment is quiet and a bit lonely now without her. I tried to explain to Alyosha that Anya left but he gave me a blank sad puppy dog look of incomprehension...

my ipod is dead.

2008-08-25T08:59:00.006-04:00

After traveling with me for 2 solid years all over Eastern Europe, my refurbished by hp 20GB Apple iPod has finally called it quits... It was at least considerate to wait until after I got back from Belarus to die!

Of course now if I want to buy an iPod, I pretty much can't get one WITHOUT video or over 80GB and lots of snazzy things that frankly I don't care about... and I certainly can't avoid paying over 100 or 200 dollars.... yikes! Sometimes it's frustrating when you don't actually *want* the newer technology but are forced to take it and *pay* for it.

Same business marketing conspiracy exists in the food world. I found myself eating at restaurants a lot this summer. And in America, each portion in every restaurant, whether it be a nice sit down place or the local KFC, gives you TONS of food... way more than my stomach can handle at a time. My realization was this: by giving bigger portions they can charge you more for them. So even if you don't *want* that much food, you are forced to pay for it anyway... and then by proxy, you either eat it all and buy into the American way of life of overeating and overabundance, or you waste it which is pretty normal also in the American way of thinking and life, or you try to take it as leftovers, which half the time doesn't work out well... (some things just *don't* reheat well.)

The best solutions I've come up with are either
1) Share a meal with someone else!
or
2) Stop eating out and start cooking more!

I hope to be doing more of #1 but mostly focus on #2.

hunter woman.

2008-08-08T11:01:00.003-04:00

ok, fess up... who bought me the subscription to "Field & Stream???"

Seriously, now.

I got an issue in the mail last month. Thought it was some one-time promotional thing. Nope. Another issue arrived today. Apparently I have a subscription through June 2009.

Funny thing is... I like the outdoors... and Field & Stream is "the world's leading outdoor magazine"... BUT... I am neither a hunter nor a fisher. I've shot a gun, um, once in my life. This is the closest I've come to fishing.

So bizarre is what it amounts to. Guess you'll find me reading about the essential classics that every outdoors(wo)man needs.... a marble safety AXE!!! WOOO!!!

AFI Top 100

2008-08-07T14:42:00.004-04:00

A few summers ago, Lauren and I started to tackle AFI's Top 100 movies. We used this list from 1998 and were starting to take a chunk of it. We took in movies like:
-Goodfellas
-All About Eve
-Annie Hall
-The Godfather
-Taxi Driver

Now, several years later, my Belarusian friend Anya was eager to watch classic American films... so I have now picked up the AFI Top 100 list and we are tackling many of them thanks to an unlimited monthly rental subscription through the mail. I'll be keeping track of the new movies in the sidebar. So far, we have watched:

-Psycho
-Midnight Cowboy
-Tootsie
-Chinatown
-North by Northwest
-Casablanca
-Citizen Kane
-Some Like It Hot
-Bonnie and Clyde
-The Wizard of Oz
-Doctor Zhivago

I'm also hoping to hit the ones that made the revised 2007 list.

Anyone have favorites on the list? Favorites *not* on the list? Leave it in the comments!

spring?

2008-04-26T16:30:00.001-04:00

narcissus., originally uploaded by krisde.

You know it’s spring in Minsk when…

The lighting outside at 8pm is like what it was at 3pm in January

You’ve seen more sun in the past week then you have since the new year

You no longer need a winter coat and boots, and actually find yourself occasionally too hot wearing your autumn coat

You see the old ladies on street corners with buckets full of daffodils for sale

You have the once again unpleasant experience of being on buses and the metro and remembering (as in, via your nose) that most people in this country don’t use deodorant

Your roommate starts bicycling on the weekends

You see more baby strollers and dogs on leashes on an average day than you have the entire year

In one day you kill two spiders and two wasps, more insects than you usually would see in a week or even a month’s time

You look out your kitchen window and the predominant color is no longer gray, but more of a gray-green thanks to the vegetation and blooming trees

Everyone and their mom seems to be going to McDonalds to get ice cream, so much so that their ice cream machine inevitably breaks. Besides that, restaurants start setting up tables outside

silent side by side.

2008-03-29T09:38:00.001-04:00

silent side by side., originally uploaded by krisde.

victory square monument in background.

lights at the bus stop.

2008-03-29T09:37:00.001-04:00

lights at the bus stop., originally uploaded by krisde.

shot during a nice late night walk downtown with friends.

Bus stop is by the colorful circus.

BY

2008-03-29T09:36:00.001-04:00

BY, originally uploaded by krisde.

there was snow again in late March. It's still hanging around.

discontent, partaking of the divine.

2008-03-17T01:15:00.002-04:00

Contentment. It is still an elusive concept to me at times. One I have always had a hard time embracing… because so often I felt a discontent in my life that was not about food or clothing and yet Paul’s words were the oft-quoted solution, but my soul was never salved. I came to believe that there could be a permissible discontent in my life, but defining it or explaining why I felt it was okay at times to be discontent to others proved to be difficult. I often felt alone in my discontent, feeling like a failure for letting feelings and desires for change in my life “drive away” a “Godly contentment,” feeling like maybe I was in the end wrong and discontent could never have a healthy output. I felt like contentment equaled resignation. No one ever disabused me of this notion, never seemed to make an intelligible distinction between the two. I thought of Kierkegaard, and his Knight of Infinite Resignation, contrasted with his Knight of Faith… I didn’t want to be resigned. I wanted to have unfathomable, crazy faith. The faith that saw the impossibility of a thing, but went on believing unquestionably, unhesitatingly, in its definite fulfillment. So it was in an apropos moment that I continued my previous reading on contentment and came across this:

I wish I could end our discussion of contentment on this high note. But as you have probably already realized, contentment has certain difficulties. The great problem with a principle of contentment is its tendency to baptize the status quo, to give religious sanction to present conditions. It is the kind of counsel that the powerful enjoy giving to the poor and defenseless. Often it is the very spirit of discontent that has prompted wonderful changes for good. There is a kind of holy restlessness that inspires important social advances. And so we are faced with the practical issue of knowing when our disquiet stems from a God-given concern to improve conditions, and when it is the result of self-serving greed. There are, of course, no foolproof answers, but I share the following guidelines in the hope that they may at least turn us in the right direction.
First, we can share the concern with other brothers and sisters whose discernment we respect. Second, if our restlessness has its root in anguish over the plight of those whose condition is clearly desperate most likely it is of the Lord. Third, if the concern involves the well-being of our children, it is often right. Fourth, if we are wanting to improve our own state, we should not automatically assume that it is wrong. Fifth, let us consider if our discontent has its source in a lack of inward peace with Christ. Sixth, we need to learn to distinguish a genuine psychological need, such as cheerful surroundings, from an obsession. Seventh, we must grow in our discernment between desires that spring from Heavenly Love and those arising from the love of money. Eighth, by an act of the will we must still every motion that is centered in greed.

When I read Foster’s words, I felt understood, and even better, that someone had put my fledgling feelings to proper words and fuller, richer explanation. He showed me why it was I felt discontent, and how it could be not merely okay, but a good thing. What resulted was a feeling immense relief and thankfulness. I hope that my discontent may help to motivate me and bring about the changes that are for good. May we also ask for this divine discontent, a deep restlessness, so that we may find ourselves fighting the good fight in fullness of faith, reckless though it may even be or seem!

This concludes my posts on Foster’s book. I’ll check back in the comments, so feel free to continue discussion there, or shoot me an email… because I certainly enjoy the conversations.

on contentment.

2008-03-15T01:53:00.002-04:00

One of the most profound effects of inward simplicity is the rise of an amazing spirit of contentment… To live in contentment means we can opt out of the status race and the maddening pace that is its necessary partner. We can shout "No!" to the insanity which chants, "More, more, more!" We can rest contented in the gracious provision of God… Think of the misery that comes into our lives by our restless gnawing greed. We plunge ourselves into enormous debt and then take two and three jobs to stay afloat. We uproot our families with unnecessary moves just so we can have a more prestigious house. We grasp and grab and never have enough. And most destructive of all, our flashy cars and sports spectaculars and backyard pools have a way of crowding out much interest in civil rights or inner city poverty or the starved masses of India. Greed has a way of severing the cords of compassion… But we do not need to be imprisoned to avarice. We can be ushered into a life of peace and serenity. With Paul we can say, "If we have food and clothing, with these we shall be content." (1 Tim 6:8)

Contentment. An elusive concept for me. An elusive concept for the mentality of most Americans. Everyone wants to climb the ladder. Move into a better home, a better job, with a better income. But me? I’m not climbing. I reckon when I return to the States, I still may never start that ascent to the Elysian fields of coveted careers and professional prosperity. I suspect such bliss would elude just as it deludes. Yet what strikes me about this piece on contentment is the connection Foster makes between it and compassion. If we are never content in our own status and standard of living, how can we genuinely think of others? Doesn’t our own discontent, resulting in reaching and grasping in greed, numb us to the harsh realities that others face outside of our “Lexus cages”? Having our thoughts consumed with consumerism, our hearts grow cold to the heat others are facing. If consumerism eats us alive, it does so by only making us our own enemy through self-absorption and never-ending selfishness.
Contentment as an expression of inward simplicity, ushering in a beautiful serenity, is what I’d like to reach and grasp for. I would even be greedy for simplicity in my heart if I could be so, if only to increase the distance between me and the possible collapse and numbing of all compassion and tenderheartedness… without which, how can I be human?

lessons from the Old impart vision for life after the New.

2008-03-14T01:01:00.002-04:00

“The lessons of the manna were clear: trust God implicitly, no hoarding permitted, and – most pointed of all – no greed allowed. There were to be equal portions for all. The reason for equal portions is so practical: it eliminates the occasion for covetousness, jealousy, and division. And it is this principle of equality that Paul stresses so vigorously. What should the principle mean for us today? Inequity in the Christian fellowship is so blatant as to need no demonstration. Millions of our Christian brothers and sisters in Asia, Africa, and Latin America barely escape starvation – many do not escape – not to mention their lack of health care and education. Dare we sit back in our comfort and ease, debating the color of our padded pews, while this scandal exists? No, of course we must do something. But the real difficulty is exactly how to respond to the problem… For those who do not feel total divestiture is right for them, I offer three suggestions. First, we could establish as a budget policy a goal of giving as much to others as we spend on ourselves… Second, we could develop an ongoing relationship with an economically poor church… Third, we could set aside one special year as a Jubilee, in which we try to give all we possibly can to a particular work.”

Equality. Commonality. Again, we return to our theme of shared life. Foster suggests, dreams, sends out a clarion call for shared life beyond our home, beyond our closest friends and families, beyond our small groups and churches, beyond our countries… He speaks of bringing equality and shared life with those around this globe.
I remember being in a seminar on the New Testament in college. One student, an atheist, stated that he didn’t see anyone he knew following Jesus’ call to give up everything he owned to follow Him, the call Jesus made to one rich young ruler. He suggested that if he ever DID see a professed Christian doing this, giving up all their possessions, all their money, everything… to follow Jesus…. he might start to believe. Of course I can’t address this person’s heart or evaluate the truthfulness or likelihood of his claim. And of course we can talk about the danger of extremes, but I tend to want to push the envelope… Foster suggests it may indeed be God’s call on a few to live a life of poverty. That perhaps some churches might decide on total divestiture. But perhaps that is not the call of everyone. I am not sure that the followers of Jesus we see throughout the New Testament all lived lives of poverty, or truly did as that young ruler was asked to do, to give up everything they owned… all their riches, all their possessions, their entire livelihood. But isn’t it interesting that we want to justify our decisions rather than consider the possibilities that maybe we need to be a little more “extreme” in our following of Christ? When this classmate of mine made this statement, he was sitting nearby to myself. It was unmistakable to me that he looked in my direction, curious perhaps if I would say something as a response. (Everyone knew I was a believer.)
But I couldn’t. I had nothing to say. Because I thought, maybe he’s right. Maybe he has a point. Maybe believers are not giving up what we should give up. Maybe we are not living the lives we should live. It may not be poverty we are called to, a Franciscan-like life. But perhaps I have been too content with the status quo. Perhaps the entire Christian world has been too content with our wealth, our buildings, our stuff, our things. Perhaps “things” have dulled our hearts and minds.
So let’s consider, how to awaken to the extreme call for shared life, sacrifice, community spanning across borders and oceans… How can we live in a way, corporately, to share with our brothers and sisters in this world? Foster gives a few suggestions, which I find interesting. Because the problem is not in the fact of an inequality in earnings/money/income. The problem is the stewardship of those earnings.

naming.

2008-03-13T01:23:00.004-04:00

"In our concern for simplicity of speech, I would also like to raise the matter of the naming of our [church buildings/fellowship groups]... I know that naming is a way of describing the distinctive emphasis of a group, but I am concerned that we do not claim more than we can possibly deliver. The usual pattern in the Scripture is to give a new name to someone after his or her transformation has occurred."

There’s that bit in Revelation that talks about being given a new name on a white stone. Perhaps because only in the new heaven and earth will our own transformations be complete. In addition, because only God knows us, inside and out, surely better than our parents did when they named us after only having met us! The names God gives would be weighty, like a stone, because these names would reflect the summation of His knowledge of us.
Why is naming so significant, especially in the Scripture? Do you feel defined by your own name? I have come to enjoy my name very much. I like how it is spelled, I like what it means. (I was always hoping there was some grand significance to why my parents chose my particular name… but ended up disappointed in learning such was not the case.)
Look at the church around the world – replete with different names. Communities identify themselves with some “idea” or “group” or even “person”… why? Because they want to be associated with that idea or group or person. It’s a witness, an identification, even a level of conformity. But what if they name it out of a desire to be associated with that good thing, but then fail to be that good thing? Or if the group or person they associated themselves with fails to live up to their expectations, tainting their own name?
Let’s consider these questions through the example of marriage. The wife traditionally takes on the family name of her husband. What does this mean? Sure, there is this association for the society to know that these two people are married, they live together, they are committed to each other, etc. It’s an external witness, yes. But isn’t it also internal? More specifically, isn’t there an internal transformation in each person? Isn’t the wife saying that the name she is taking on is a name worthy to take? One that is respected, honored by others, a word that when heard brings the quality and character of its owner to one’s mind. But there is trust… the wife has to trust the man bearing that name. That he would have a good reputation, that others would have praiseworthy things to say about the man who bears it, and that these things although only shadows would accurately reflect the substance of her husband. This trust, this relinquishing of one identity for another, is an internal movement just as it is an external one.
To take a name on oneself, there should be also a striving to not tarnish that name, but to only bring more honor and respect to the family by one’s conduct and character. The husband must likewise trust the wife to be able to bring honor and respect to his name. (I’m thinking of Proverbs 31 here.) He likewise must know her character, her substance, to be able to want her to be identified so closely with him and be a part of his family. (What constitutes the respect and the honor is another discussion; for me I would say, respect and honor stems from living a life that brings glory to God.)
I know nowadays reputation, heritage, and honor are somewhat foreign concepts, and my thoughts may seem antiquated and irrelevant. But I feel there is significance to names and the process of naming. Foster thinks so too. The naming of a community, a church, must be done carefully… and as he said, only after one knows the quality of that community, what God does in and through that community…. Just like a woman only will take on the name of a man after she knows something about the quality of that name and the person with that name.
So where is simplicity in all of this? I think we find the simplicity in stripping away all the trappings of labels, some which may be inaccurate and complete misrepresentations, devoid of meaning or substance, unreflective of one’s true nature. Taking on a name is about knowledge; let our priority be in knowing ourselves, as individuals and communities, which necessitates knowing our Creator. We let God speak His words, and let the process of naming come from Him, rest on Him, and not on our innovation or desires to be, or appear to be, something we are not yet, never will be, or never should be.

sharing life.

2008-03-12T01:05:00.002-04:00

"While individual effort is good, it is always limited. There are things that we can do together that we cannot possibly do alone. God has so arranged human life that we are dependent upon one another to come into all that he desires of us. We need each other’s help in order to know how to love God. We need each other’s help in order to know how to love our neighbor. Lone Ranger Christianity is a contradiction in terms."

Here Foster affirms what I expounded on in my previous post: people are made to increase our capacity to love God. We are in need of people. God gave community for a reason. The community is a good thing, a purposeful thing…. And part of this purpose for each of us individually involves doing life together with others. We are meant to meet each other’s needs – financial, material, emotional, spiritual, physical. We are meant to have things in common, for the sake of others and oneself. Commonality, or sharing, is a way of living in generosity and love, while also keeping our own grasp of “things” from being too tight lest we forget the “things” are never ours; we are stewards. These things don’t go with us beyond the grave, so why give them greater significance, like that we’d give of a living being? We share life because it is a gift, as are the people we share it with, and in sharing we affirm in them, “yes, you are valued, valued enough to impact and shape my life.” We share life because Jesus shared his. He shared meals, he shared his talents, he shared his wisdom and understanding, he shared time, he shared experiences, he shared in others’ agonies, he shared the life that is given through his blood. He’s sharing eternity with us. (Why is it so hard for us to share the mere temporal with one another?)

balance through fasting.

2008-03-11T01:11:00.001-04:00

Fasting helps to give us balance. It makes us more keenly sensitive to the whole of life, so that we do not become obsessed with our consumer mentality. It is something of an inner alarm to help us hold our priorities straight, to give us a sense of spiritual sensitivity… For example, there is a great need today to learn to fast from people. Most of us have a tendency to devour others, and usually we get severe heartburn from it. I suggest that we experience times of fasting from people not because we are antisocial, but precisely because we love people intently and when we are with them we want to be able to do them good, and not harm. Thomas Merton said, “It is in deep solitude that I find the gentleness with which I can truly love my brothers… Solitude and silence teach me to love my brothers for what they are, not what they say.”

How often I find myself in this consumer mentality around people! I want people to talk to, to empathize, or to validate me, make me feel significant, or to give me love, affection…. I want I want I want. What good is this for me or the other person if this is all that drives me? There is wisdom here for me, who often turns to people as a crutch. Fasting gives balance and increases significance. After fasting, the food abstained from is sweeter, more delicious. The contrast of the lack heightens the pleasure. The lack also reveals the weaknesses, the places that need healing or growth that have been hidden by a filling of something….be it with food, entertainment, pleasure, feelings, distractions, or for me, with people.
I love the Merton quote here. We love one another for each of us is made in the image of God. We love one another for each other’s uniqueness. For each other’s beauty. For each other’s hearts and minds. For the reflection they give us of Christ. This is what man is. We love one another for increasing our capacity to love God, to love the good and the true and beautiful… an increase that must flow from more than mere words. What do the words “I love you” mean if they are separated from the quiddity of the person saying them, or the quintessence of love qua love? They disperse into thin air, dead, without the what-ness. The love of Christ is a what-ness. It is an action, a sacrifice, and it holds for eternity.

"thingification."

2008-03-08T02:01:00.002-05:00

"Christian simplicity demands that we break free of this “thingification.” But how do we do it? Here are some suggestions…
First, join the joyful happy revolt against the modern propaganda machine…
Second, I propose an exercise which many have found liberating. When you decide that it is right for you to purchase a particular item, see if God will not bring it to you without your having to buy it… The point is not that [we are] unable to buy [something]; [we] could have done that quite easily. But [we] want to learn how to pray in ways that might release money for other purposes… Once a decision is made to secure a particular item, hold it before God in prayer for perhaps a week. If it comes, bless God; if not, reevaluate your need for it; and if you still feel that you should have it, go ahead and purchase the item. One clear advantage to this approach is that it effectively ends all impulse buying. It gives time for reflection so that God can teach us if the desire is unnecessary. Another obvious benefit is the way in which it integrates the life of devotion with the life of service. The supply of our material needs becomes an exciting venture of faith…. One small counsel: it is probably wise to give the money you would have spent on the object to the poor in order to avoid the slightest thought of this as a means of material gain…
Third, stress the quality of life above the quantity of life…
Fourth, make recreation healthy, happy, and gadget-free…
Fifth, learn to eat sensibly and sensitively…
Sixth, know the difference between significant travel and self-indulgent travel…
Seventh, buy things for their usefulness rather than their status…
One final word needs to be said. Simplicity does not necessarily mean cheapness. Simplicity resonates more easily with concerns for durability, usability, and beauty."

I love this section. Foster gives lots of great, practical advice for breaking free of “thingification.” For me personally, my attention was caught most by his second and sixth points. The second was intriguing because I think Americans generally would never think this way. We are, as a culture, impulse buyers. Everything is, literally, just about a mouse click away. Wanting to buy a new CD? A new book? A new pair of shoes? A car? Drive down the road to the closest mall that’s only 0.2 miles away or hop online to your favorite online dealer. Really… there is no waiting in our culture. Here is where Belarus is different: when I don’t have something I want or even need, I sometimes just go without. Case in point: I have a microwave in my apartment. I use it almost every day. I use it to heat up a small amount of leftovers or milk to froth for my coffee or to melt butter when baking or….any number of reasons. This week my microwave broke. I suddenly realized how much I used it after one day, when I tried to use it 3 times and kept getting frustrated because every time I forgot it didn’t work anymore. I don’t know if my landlord will fix it. We haven’t called him. There is no point in me buying a new one – I’m leaving in a little over 2 months. So I’m living without… In America, I would have popped in my car, driven to the closet mall and bought a new one. Really. But now? Now I’m thinking it wouldn’t be a bad idea to just ask my heavenly Dad if he might like to fix my microwave… or maybe He just wants to help me simplify and learn by doing without. (After all, most people I know in Belarus DON’T have microwaves.)
But what Foster says is even more intriguing… because he says to take that money that you would have used in a split second to buy that new microwave or pair of gloves or whatever and give it to charity…. Talk about practical! Talk about awesome! It’s not just about God meeting MY (your) needs. It’s also about how He might use ME (you) to meet someone else’s….
The sixth point also caught my attention because it made me stop and think and evaluate my life. I love to travel. You could say, in a sense, I’m a world traveler. Facebook tells me I’ve been to about one fourth of the world. Whenever I had the desire or opportunity to travel, I never turned it down. I always wanted the adventure, the new experience. Belarus has been the most significant time I’ve “traveled” for a purpose other than pleasure. I have to now ask myself… just because I can travel, should I? And if I do, how can I make it significant and not just self-indulgent? Foster gave great recommendations, like moving away from the travel brochures and museums and meeting locals, helping the needy in a new place, etc. In my travel, even the travel that was motivated by my own desire for fun and adventure, I can testify to the fact that it has oftentimes been used for His glory. I’ve had or been present for meetings or conversations with fellow travelers or locals that gave the opportunity to share about things of eternal significance. But I wasn’t necessarily looking for it… maybe I should, maybe I should ask for it…
What point is a challenge for you? What can you do today, this month, this year, to implement it and a greater simplicity into your life?

risking legalism.

2008-03-06T23:13:00.000-05:00

"Is it any wonder that we struggle and strain in an attempt to express exterior simplicity? Unquestionably, this enterprise is fraught with many pitfalls and dangers. But we must not shrink back from our task. We must risk the danger of legalism, because to refuse establishes a legalism in defense of the status quo. Until we become specific we have not spoken the word of truth that liberates."

The existing states of affairs should never be settled upon. This side of heaven, we must strive for something more. But what is this more? Often times, it seems to me, the more is about less. In wanting more than the status quo, I want a changed world, a changed self, a changed reality… I want less possessions and more significance, less to do and more time to savor, less damage and more healing, less superficiality and more depth, less commercialism and more creativity, less pride and more humility, less baggage and more freedom, less finger-pointing and more forgiveness, less apathy and more love.
Foster here talks about the less, the external simplicity, caring not for what the world tells you is success, happiness, or peaceful life, all wrapped in packages of dollar bills. But as he says at the end of this paragraph, we must be specific. Some may call is legalistic, but sometimes you need the rules, the discipline, before you can find your freedom to live without them. Sometimes it might be most beneficial to deny oneself as a rule, very specifically, in order to retrain how we think, act, and react to the world around us.

joy, not grit.

2008-03-06T00:24:00.001-05:00

"Joy, not grit, is the hallmark of holy obedience. We need to be lighthearted in what we do to avoid taking ourselves too seriously. It is a cheerful revolt against self and pride. Our work is jubilant, carefree, merry. Utter abandonment to God is done freely and with celebration. And so I urge you to enjoy the ministry of self-surrender. Don’t push too hard. Hold this work lightly, joyfully…. You know, of course, that [we] are not speaking of a silly, superficial, bubbly kind of joy like that flaunted in modern society. No, this is a deep, resonant joy that has been shaped and tempered by the fires of suffering and sorrow – joy through the cross, joy because of the cross."

p.128-129 in Freedom of Simplicity

How often I experience a lack of joy in my own life, and witness many joy-less Christians… we become overwhelmed with our troubles, let pessimism take over in our hearts, and find ourselves ruing our failings with ever-increasing despair. It is this last point that Foster seems to address, and I think his words are beneficial – we need to avoid at times taking ourselves too seriously, not to push so hard… We’re never going to get it all just right. It’s not that we need to always plaster on a happy face or stop wanting to grow… no, but we need to come again to that cross, and see the victory already won… and leave a changed person, one with joy, with hope, that despite our perpetual failings and short-comings, we’re accepted, the world is overcome,… The cross gives us joy because joy is found in His presence. This is simplicity of heart… merriment in following after the One who made all joys, conquered all troubles, and redeems all man’s short-comings.

flash snow fall.

2008-03-05T14:01:00.002-05:00

We had a furious flash snow fall yesterday. I was caught outside in it, without a hat or a hood on my coat, and of course without an umbrella. I found refuge under a tree to take some pictures. (I’ve been carrying my camera around with me everywhere… I just get too self-conscious sometimes to pull it out.)
Today, snow is melted, sun is shining across clear, blue skies. (Such a rarity for Belarus!)

I recently finished reading a book called Freedom of Simplicity by Richard Foster. This book was wonderful to read for this season leading up to Easter. The first half deals with the theology of simplicity, while the second half of the book deals with application. In the second half, he looks at three areas for living in simplicity’s freedom: inward, outward, and corporate simplicity. I found myself dog-earring a plethora of passages. I’ve decided to do a short series of blog posts on a variety of quotes from this book with my own personal commentary and reflections. So check back this week and please, join in the conversation in the comments!

the secret ingredients.

2008-02-19T09:34:00.002-05:00

I had a friend over for dinner last night. I made a soup. My friend remarked that it didn't look or smell like a Belarusian soup. (But she said it still tasted good ;))

I thought about the ingredients...

No beets.
No cabbage.
No potatoes.
No carrots.

Nope, defintely not a Belarusian soup. Not at all.

i love language.

2008-02-19T09:26:00.004-05:00

I love language.

I put my hair up, a bit sloppily, the other morning. But what ensued on the bus was an amusing exchange with my roommate that reminded me why languages can be so fun(ny) sometimes. (Basically recapped below.)

Roommate: I like your hair today.
Me: Oh, thanks. I was thinking it looked pretty messy.
Roommate: No, it’s like, organized hows. ::the word she said sounded like ‘hows’ to my ears::
Me: Hows? It’s like an organized what?
Roommate: Hows.
Me: House? ::thinking to myself, what kind of weird Russian compliment is this?!::
Roommate: No, howz.
Me: ::thinking to myself, what on earth is she trying to say, so I take a second guess…:: Cows???
Roommate: ::laughs::
Me: I totally don’t understand. Organized house? Organized cows?
Roommate: No, you know, the English word for something without order, in Russian it’s hows.
Me: ::thinking:: Oh…. CHAOS?
Roommate: Yes! Keyhows.
Me: No. KAY-OSS. Like my name, K, and then “-os,” kind of like you’d say “Aussie”
Roommate: Oh, is it spelled with a K?
Me: No, C-H. C-H-A-O-S.
Roommate: Uh, right.

Proof That Hungary Doesn’t Belong to Eastern Europe

2008-02-04T11:20:00.000-05:00

(or at least doesn’t resemble Belarus)

-I found sweet potatoes, microwave popcorn, caramel sauce, and Philadelphia cream cheese in the grocery store
-The grocery store looked like a two story classy Walmart with its own parking garage underneath
-There were lots of roundabouts on their roads
-Roads and sidewalks were narrow
-There were lots of hills
-There was a large lake, and it was actually pretty
-I saw blue skies and sunshine almost every day
-I ate at a Mexican restaurant in the downtown
-There was lots of graffiti in the downtown
-Prices are very expensive: I paid over $20 for a sandwich at a small café
-The movie theater featured flicks in English
-People don’t speak Russian, or those that do, don’t like to
-On the other hand, most people understand English even if they don’t speak it well

my presidential hopeful

2008-01-31T06:10:00.000-05:00

If a song could be president
We’d hum on Election Day
The gospel choir would start to sway
And we’d all have a part to play

The first lady would free her hips
Pull a microphone to her lips
Break our hearts with Rhythm and Blues
Steve Earle would anchor the news

We’d vote for a melody
Pass it around on an mp3
All our best foreign policy
Would be built on harmony

If a song could be president
We’d fly a jukebox to the moon
All our founding fathers’ 45’s
Lightnin’ Hopkins and Patsy Cline
If a song could be president

If a song could be president
We could all add another verse
Life would teach us to rehearse
Till we found a key change

Break out of this minor key
Half-truths and hypocrisy
We wouldn’t need an underachiever-in-chief
If a song could be president

We’d make Neil Young a Senator
Even though he came from Canada
Emmylou would be Ambassador
World leaders would listen to her

They would show us where our country went wrong
Strum their guitars on the White House lawn
John Prine would run the FBI
All the criminals would laugh and cry
If a song could be president

-If A Song Could Be President by Over The Rhine

If you don't know this band, you should.

American politics from a Brit, er, a European

2008-01-11T14:29:00.000-05:00

An interesting conversation took place this week between my new British classmate and myself:

Brit: American politics are so exciting.
American: How so?
B: You stay up all day and night watching the results come in, it’s like this exciting game. And it’s never predictable like it is in England, elections in England are so boring. But it always seems to me that those on the east and west coasts stick together in their choices while all the states in the middle go for the opposite guy. I figure everyone in the middle of the US is either really stupid or really crazy; they always pick the wrong guy.
A: For clarification, what do you mean by ‘the wrong guy’? The guy who loses or the one you don’t like or…?
B: The guy who wins.
.....
B: I don’t like to be called an Englishman.
A: How about British?
B: No, I don’t like that either.
A: Why? You live in England, right? Are you not from there?
B: Sure, I live there. But I don’t feel like an Englishman.
A: Are your parents English? Are they from England?
B: Well yes, they live in England. But they are originally from Lithuania.
A: So would you consider yourself Lithuanian?
B: Hell no. I never want to live in Lithuania.
A: Where do you want to live?
B: Wherever there is ocean and mountains.
A: How about Switzerland? They have mountains and lakes.
B: No, I want to go scuba diving. I want to live near the ocean.
A: How about Egypt?
B: No way! I’d hate everyone there.
A: How about Greece?
B: No, I also would hate it.
A: How about somewhere in Asia?
B: No.
A: Well you could come to the States. I’m sure you can find mountains and ocean there.
B: Not in the same city! I’m thinking maybe I’d live in Canada.
A: Really? Have you been to Canada?
B: No.
A: Hmm. Maybe you should stick to England… So what do you want to be called if not English?
B: I’m a European. You can call me a European.

*****

Another interesting occurrence this week at my Russian class. We had a visitor come sit in on our class. He was Turkish. He sat down in a chair next to me, and pulled out his laptop while we were going over some new vocabulary. As I glanced over, I noticed his laptop wasn’t just any laptop… it was a MacBook Pro… in fact, the exact same one as I own. It was my first time seeing someone with a Mac in Belarus besides myself… definitely NOT an everyday occurrence! (After class, I told him he had a very good computer, the same as mine. His question in response was where I am from. When I told him the States, he started talking to me in English. Said he used to live in Chicago.)

*****

I also informed my Russian teacher and classmates today that the forbidden fruit in Genesis was not (necessarily) an apple... because the Biblical account does not specify what type of fruit. My teacher was quite shocked to be debunked of her long-held notion... Once again, culture serves as the preferred foundation of truth.

the cold.

2008-01-05T16:30:00.000-05:00

It is so cold here that the roads and sidewalks have all turned white.

It is so cold here that your face feels frozen as soon as you walk outside, making you think maybe there was still moisture on your face from showering that got icy, but no, it's just that cold.

It is so cold here that you sometimes forget you are wearing gloves, because the air goes right through them.

It is so cold here that my iPod earbuds get stiff and fall out of my ears over and over again.

It is so cold here that there is not only fog and frost on the windows of vehicles, but yes, even a layer of ice that coats the insides of all the windows of the buses, completely obscuring your view to the outside... and even though buses should have heaters, most of them are not operational or are neglected to be turned on.

It is so cold here that the only warm places I have found are 1. the metro and 2. my bedroom. Ironically, since they turned the heat on in my building, it has become like a sauna in my room. I have to sleep in shorts and a t-shirt and leave my door open to get cooler air from the rest of the apartment, or the little heater in my small bedroom will make it stuffy real fast.

Ah, winter. And it has only just begun. Temperatures were -16 degrees Celsius yesterday. Oh, it will get much worse... MUCH worse...

12 days of Christmas.

2007-12-27T17:59:00.000-05:00

I am interested in recapturing, or perhaps, capturing for the first time, the spirit of celebrating Christmas for 12 days, starting on December 25th. Of course this is difficult in American culture, what-with the big shopping frenzy-buildup to the 25th and then the holiday being "over", other than catching the "after Christmas" sales. It's after because Christmas is, effectually, over.

But this is not how it has been in the church calendar. There is a song about the 12 days of Christmas, which I hear is reputed to have spiritual significance. Perhaps that is an appropriate starting point to discovering the meaning in the 12 days. But the practical question remains.. how to incorporate a 12-long day Christmas celebration into your home, your family, your church, your own heart?

I'd love to hear ideas and suggestions for celebrating Christmas for 12 days... leave them in the comments, along with any other feedback of course. ;)

Christmas.

2007-12-25T11:04:00.000-05:00

Arise, shine, for your Light has come! It shines in the darkness, and the darkness has not overcome it.

I've enjoyed a Christmas celebration this week that has been completely different from any previous celebration of the holiday. The biggest highlight has been coming to Denmark and enjoying time with friends from home, whose conversation and company has been most enjoyable, encouraging, and refreshing. The second biggest highlight has been worshipping with their international ecumenical community here in Copenhagen.

First, this community though ecumenical is led by a Lutheran pastor. I had never been to a Lutheran service, though in many ways it has been similar to my reformed tradition back home, a tradition that I have missed since being in Belarus. One thing I found interesting was how they commune at the Lord's table. Everyone came to the front of the church, to the chancel, gathered in a semi-circle and kneeled before the altar with other believers to receive the elements, by intinction, and real wine was used. (as it should be, :) ) I loved this aspect of kneeling side by side with my family to commune. We also communed at the Lord's table Sunday, Monday on Christmas eve, and Tuesday on Christmas.

Christmas was a special service because it was held in the home of the pastor and his family. We enjoyed a relaxed brunch, then gathered in the family room. (see photo above) At the front was a manger holding the bread and the goblet with the wine for communion. It was a reminder... the babe in the manger became this broken bread and poured out wine. The manger that held a babe was also holding the broken body and blood of our Lord, God's presence with us... and now, at communion, we remember anew how God's presence is continually with us. The Word took on flesh, and dwelt among us. This presence was temporal and yet is at the same time eternal.

I have never had a Christmas like this one. I have never been to so many times of worship and communion before. I completely loved it. It made me also think about how sometimes I know of churches that don't hold services on Sunday if Christmas is on Sunday.... and it led to thoughts about being a widow or orphan, or perhaps even just spiritually an orphan or widow. There are tons of people who do not have a nuclear family or whose family they do have do not care to celebrate Christmas by worshipping the King. If our churches stop meeting on Christmas, for "family time," what happens to the orphans and widows? The students and singles? The elderly and sick? The lonely and isolated? Is it good or even right for them to celebrate Christmas alone? Isn't it antithetical to Christmas to celebrate alone? Not because the holiday is a family holiday in the cultural sense of the word, but a family holiday in the spiritual sense...! Shouldn't we spend the holiday with our family in Christ? It seems there is a whole contingent of folks out there who may not have a community to be with on the holiday... so it is my hope that the church would step up to the plate, or maybe individuals and families, to open their doors to the "stranger" who is alone, be they an actual orphan or widow or spiritually so... Everyone needs community, especially at Christmas.

I found myself a "stranger" in a strange country among people who are not my nuclear or blood family in a church I had never set foot into before... and yet I felt in my heart and soul that I was not alone, not at all a stranger. I was with friends who are also my spiritual family... I was with an international family in Christ who in a matter of three days knew my face, name, connection to Denmark, my story... who welcomed me to the Table with them, who laughed with me, talked with me, communed with me. It was beautiful. I hope every person who remotely finds themselves or feels themselves alone or isolated in this world will be sought after by the Church, by families and individuals, and treated not as guests, but as family at the same table, under the same roof, just as I have been ever-so graciously welcomed.

Thank you Tilley's, thank you to the church here in Copenhagen, those who made me feel like family and not an inconvenient guest or worse, just a visitor passing through or even a stranger...

unholiday depression overseas...

2007-12-17T14:41:00.000-05:00

I have on more than one occasion railed about the commercialism in America, and the consumeristic, materialistic addictions we as Americans have that are, literally, consuming us from the inside out. This commercialism and consumerism is all the more rampant at the time of Christmas. Oh, how I once loathed when the malls would be rife with Santas and trees and stockings, advertising, tempting you, to buy this or that trinket, this or that item… and how the pressure to buy buy buy and please please please others often racks us… and it will break us. For a month, maybe even two, Americans are surrounded by commercials, advertisements, decorations, meant to supply the spirit and joy of the holiday, the Christmas spirit perhaps. Oh, I grew to hate it. I already hated malls, all I needed was another time of year to have an even better excuse to avoid entering their premises.

And yet.

Here I am, miles and miles away. I am in a culture that does not celebrate Christmas until January 7th. Even then, it is not their big holiday. It is their religious holiday, for religious types. Which means it goes basically unnoticed by the culture at large. Maybe they’ll give you the day off of work and studies, but maybe not. No, the real holiday here is New Years. In searching for Christmas cards, it’s ironic that from the outside, they LOOK like Christmas cards, at least, your run-of-the-mill American “Christmas” scene sans the baby Jesus (“Christlessmas”). Bells, garlands, wreaths, snow covered homes, ornaments, pine trees, sleds, presents, candles… But when you read the words, they rarely make mention of Christmas… rather, they wish you a happy new year. Ironic.

Maybe you wonder, how is the new year celebrated here? I’ll tell you: they have new year’s trees, very much like our Christmas trees. They exchange gifts. They spend it with family, and occasionally with friends. They eat a lot of food. They watch TV after midnight when the President gives a speech congratulating the people on the new year. They have fireworks. They drink, a lot. They don’t go to work the next day. This is new year. And Christmas? Most people don’t celebrate it at all.

So I find myself… missing America at Christmas time. Yes, even slightly missing the barrage of decorations and music incessantly playing in the shopping malls… but I remember being in the States and feeling like it was Christmas time, awaiting it. There was more anticipation for its arrival. Maybe I anticipated the days off of school or work. Maybe I anticipated time with family and watching American football on TV. Maybe I anticipated the holiday foods. The scents of sugar cookies and apple cider and fires in the fireplace and pine. The joy of stealthily wrapping a few carefully selected gifts for those near and dear to me. Hearing the piano played, or singing some carols. Seeing the sanctuary every Sunday, decorated and reminding me of One’s great coming. Such joy, expectation, anticipation, delight, wonder... Here, I am lacking some of this luster, this Christmas spirit. Granted, nothing about trees and garlands and lights truly belongs to Christmas... but it brought me joy, and ushered my heart into a time of expectation, reflection... here I find I'm simply falling into a dry winter depression. No one here is thinking much about Christmas and only a handful celebrate it on December 25th. Every “Christmas”-esque decoration is hailing the new year, not the birth of Jesus. No one knows any Christmas hymns to sing. Here we are, less than 10 days away from the day, and I still don’t feel like it’s already here… Celebrating holidays overseas is just not the same. It is enough to make me feel depressed!

I am thankful though, because I must make my own preparations, in my mind and heart as well as among my friends, for this great celebration. Two days ago, my roommates and I hung up decorations: tree, garland, lights, candles, cards, stockings. We played Christmas music from my computer. There was even some snow blowing around outside our window. Though vastly different from being among family and friends at Christmas, it was still very much welcome… without such little things, the holidays really are very depressing for an expat.

(Luckily, this expat won’t be alone on Christmas. I’ll be visiting wonderful people sojourning for this year in Copenhagen. Perhaps there, we can enjoy fellowship on this day, and together celebrate the great Advent.)

All the more, how I must, on my own, look deeply into myself, and once again find that great joy worth searching the whole world over for, worth giving up life as we familiarly know it for… the joy that is good tidings and peace on earth for men… the joy of knowing the mysterious and beautiful Love Incarnate.

html help?

2007-12-17T14:35:00.001-05:00

if anyone knows how to help me fix my header/banner/photo montage thing so it's not cut off on the top and bottom like it suddenly is now... shoot me an email. that would be a big help! ;)

highlight of today.

2007-12-14T09:54:00.000-05:00

Today, after returning home after 3pm to thaw out, I had the most delightful surprise waiting for me in my mailbox: the Fall 2007 edition of The College, St. John’s alumni quarterly. Last year I never received a copy over here in Belarus… this year, for some reason, I was mailed a copy! Thank you whoever sent it; it was certainly a highlight to me. I sat over my 3pm lunch reading it cover to cover. It’s so nice to feel engaged and connected to a community even when very far away.

How rare, it seems, that we take the time to practice dialectic with one another, to not merely read for our own enjoyment and betterment, but to intentionally discuss and strive and search for truth and beauty with other pilgrim souls... this is what I miss most, and what I long most to foster in my life, a community of questions and discussions and striving for truth and beauty and understanding and getting at that deep marrow of life... but it must be a community, or something essential is lost to this whole endeavor. Adventures are meant to be shared. So is life. So are thoughts. So are questions and the quest in them.

pomp & circumstance

2007-12-14T09:49:00.000-05:00

Today, I was hoping to get a glimpse from across a five lane road of none other than President of the Russian Federation, Vladimir Putin. Alas, it was not meant to be. Now, I did wait patiently in sub-zero temperatures at our infamous Victory Square. I even skipped the second half of my Russian class, in hopes of seeing him and hearing him give some short speech. The military arrives. Roads were blocked off. Metro was inaccessible. The military band arrives with instruments. Film crew arrives and sets up. Black clothed security patrols the streets and the square. Photographers are preparing to snap away. People rush around talking on their cell phones, radios squawk. A banner proudly welcomes the president. Light poles are adorned with flags of Belarus and Russia, side by side. The colors of Red, Green, White, and Blue are seen wherever your eyes glance. Students line up on the curbs of the streets surrounding the Square, flying high the flags of those two countries. There was certainly a lot of pomp, but the circumstance was less than hoped. I was there. I arrived after 11:15am. I was watching. Waiting. I was joking with my friends that maybe his car was speeding and he got pulled over. They joked back that maybe he forgot to bring his passport with him, or tried to enter the metro without a token. We waited longer. We were freezing. It was 1pm when my Korean classmates decided to leave. I decided to hold out a little longer. I stood with a Frenchman and a Swede. We shivered. We talked with some Belarusians. We asked “official” looking people and “unofficial” people when the President might arrive… no one knew. We were told 11:15. We were there at 11:15. No President. Fashionably late, I suppose. By 1:35pm the band and military left the square to practice and take a break underground. Probably to warm up as well. Students were leaving in droves. The flag-bearers didn’t want to stick around anymore. If we knew when he was to arrive, we might have been able to know whether it was worth it to wait. But by 1:45pm, I decided my nearly frozen fingers and toes were more precious to me than seeing Russia’s President. As usual, lots of show! But where was the delivery?

Maybe I can read about it in the paper tomorrow.

small worldliness

2007-12-03T16:19:00.000-05:00

Interesting experience the other day. I go to a Belarusian gathering of believers and before meeting at the Table, they showed a short film clip about a guy who carries this card table around and sets up his own communion for passerbys, which is for the most part ignored or unnoticed. But this wasn’t even what struck me. As soon as they started playing the film, I knew exactly where this film was shot. It was shot in the historic downtown Annapolis, Maryland. None other than my college town. There was Stevens hardware on the corner, there were the boats at city dock, the market house behind the dock, there was the food court at the Annapolis mall, etc. Every place in this video I had been. Now how weird and random is this: I’m halfway around the world in a culture entirely other than my native country and culture and in this place, I find myself on a Sunday morning at a service entirely in the Russian language, watching a short video clip in a room full of Belarusians (with a few Russians, Chinese, Slovakians, Cameroonians, Nigerians, and the scattered Americans as well), and there we watch together scenes from a town that I once called home. The strangeness of the circumstance made me smile.

chores.

2007-11-30T16:59:00.000-05:00

I've come to realize that differences in life between Belarus and America extend beyond just the obvious "exterior" cultural ones... differences permeate home life as well. For example, I have learned how to deal with many adjustments at my apartment. I've learned how to light, operate, and control my own water heater. I've had to adjust to life without a dryer, instead having to "freeze dry" my clothes on the balcony or drape them over the heaters. I now work exclusively with a gas stove AND oven. I've had to deal with my inability to control the temperature in my apartment. Plus, when it's cold and the heaters have not been turned on, I've learned that I have to tape my windows, which are old and create drafts. I regularly use a trash chute that's located in the stair well of my building on the 9th floor. People always remove their shoes once they enter an apartment. Of course, there is also no dishwasher. (I'm privileged to even have a microwave.) But last week I discovered yet another way that apartment living in Minsk is different than in the the States: cleaning the carpet.

In Minsk, you can buy vacuum cleaners. However, they are expensive, and my roommates were not willing/able to pitch in for one. So, we decided to do without a vacuum cleaner. But when last week I was expecting many friends to come over as company, and knew we would be sitting on the floor of my living room, I realized the carpet would have to be cleaned somehow. I quickly realized you can't sweep carpet with a broom. (I tried.) I ended up having to resort to a wet rag. I was on my hands and knees, trying to scrub and gather dust and dirt and whatever else out of the carpet. It took me over an hour and even then, the job was neither complete nor thorough. I felt like Cinderella. It was not glamorous... and I hope I don't have to do that ever again. ;)

In the States, my favorite chore is mowing the lawn. I love yardwork. I love working with my hands, working with plants or building things from wood or grilling food, or anything having to do with design. Everything else is pretty much boring routine, but above all, my least favorite chore is probably laundry. (All the moreso in Belarus.)

always snowing, always melting, always snowing.

2007-11-28T10:15:00.000-05:00

the past week we've had this pattern of snow covering the ground overnight, covering the earth, and then by mid morning the next day, it has already melted.... it repeats this process, and has repeated it, for at least the past 3 days.

I thought about how this is a picture at times of life. When we're sleeping, at peace, resting, trusting our Dad above, we receive His grace, His love, His mercies, which are new every morning. Then something happens and we "muck it up" and it starts melting. It melts because we can't hold onto the ingraspable, and we're imperfect and don't always dwell all the time in His goodness and grace and love. What's amazing is that we're promised He'll keep pouring out His mercy on us, keep making us as new creations, keep covering our scarlet sins with white snow...

This is just one of many promises we have from the One who came to be Incarnate, to demonstrate His love to us, and who we can joyously celebrate, especially this Advent season. I've wanted to be more intentional to celebrate Advent in a special way, as this special time of year... I'd love to hear in the comments how you celebrate Advent.

I'm not 25% Irish for nothing

2007-11-27T14:10:00.000-05:00

Your Inner European is Irish!

Sprited and boisterous!
You drink everyone under the table.

Who's Your Inner European?

lucrative McD's career?

2007-11-04T16:35:00.000-05:00

I know a guy, a university student, here in Minsk who works at the McDonald’s. He was recently promoted to work as a cashier. He only works part time. I wondered if he enjoyed his job. I don’t know for sure first hand, but his roommate speculated that he liked it because it made good money. So. I had to ask. How much money does a McDonald’s employee in Belarus make? The answer was very interesting.

According to my friend, if a person starts working full time at McDonald’s, on the lowest rung of job opportunities, say, the janitor… full time work will pay them $300 a month.

This is shocking. Well, $300 is practically nothing by American standards. Rent on a single apartment will probably cost you at least $500 in my city back in the States, so $300 would not even cover your basic rent expense each month. But in Belarus, economy is of course much different, and thus so is cost of living. Did you know that this McDonald’s employee would earn more money than a full time teacher? Not only that, but most likely, this McDonald’s employee would earn more money than most full time professions for the average worker in Belarus! The McDonald’s employee would certainly make more money than either of my roommates, who have university degrees.

So there you have it. Belarusians could make a decent living by working as a janitor at McD’s. Not just decent, but better than most. And they don’t even need higher education.

convenient cages

2007-10-26T13:03:00.000-04:00

I love the smell of toasted brown bread. Mmm.

The joys of apartment living: hearing other people’s arguments.

I saw the sun today. It is becoming a rarity so I feel like I should note every time it happens.

I saw a little 8 or 9-year-old girl riding the same bus as me the other day. She struck me because she looked like she could have been an American girl. I say this because nowadays, kids in the States are incredibly fashionable at a young age. (I think back to when I was in elementary school, and remember the fashion conscious bug really didn’t hit me until the 6th grade, and then I really didn’t go anything about it until 8th or 9th grade. I didn’t really pay attention to it until I realized other people around me did.) This particular little girl had a pink and grey backpack, which matched her pink and grey socks peeking out from under her skirt and tall boots. She also had a matching pink glitter hair tie. To top if off, she had a striped pink scarf. This girl was cute. There was, however, one dead give away that she couldn’t be American, and was actually Belarusian: she was carrying a plastic bag with her. If you take a quick survey of people on the public transportation, you can easily see that 90% of the people riding the bus or metro are carrying a plastic bag. It may hold their groceries, their schoolbooks, their work or important papers, their umbrella, … who knows. But everyone seems to carry them - men, women, elderly, working class, students, and kids alike. (Not me.)

I was talking to my roommate the other day. We were talking about transportation. In Minsk, there are many cars, but most people use buses, trams, trolleys, and metro. Of course this is in stark contrast to how most Americans get around, mainly by car and only by public transportation if they live in a big city. Even then, people often drive first to their stop to get the train into the city if they don’t actually live in the center. My roommate shared about her friend in Minsk who bought and started driving a car in the past year. Apparently, she has begun missing public transportation. She misses seeing all the people.

I wondered whether any Americans would be able to relate to this… would anyone actually prefer to give up their car, which affords them convenience, privacy, comfortability, freedom, complete control over temperature, music, speed… and choose to deal with the inconvenience of waiting for and catching buses, standing for long periods of time, being surrounded and at times squashed by other people, often feeling cold from the continual drafts coming through the opening and shutting doors, being at the complete mercy of the driver and the traffic that day…? It seems very unlikely to me that any American would rather choose this. But this is also because we have grown so accustomed and reliant on our cars. We don’t even really carpool anymore. Spouses rarely share a car. Work partners rarely travel together. But over here, people are not used to having their own space, their own privacy, in their vehicles. So now, some people who have experienced this convenience are longing for the people that are absent from their personal automobile. They miss the interaction and the connection to their people, their neighbors you could say.

So my roommate concluded that she doesn’t think she could ever live in America. She says that for her, as well as her friend, she likes the metro and the buses. Her favorite part of the day is taking public transportation.

Something in me doesn’t fully “get it.” I suppose it has something to do with the fact that I’m American and I love driving… But part of me also dreams of giving up my car and just biking everywhere. I don’t, notice, dream of giving up my car and taking public buses everywhere.

I now have to wonder and ask and push the question, are we as Americans missing out on something by leading our lives the way we do, or, in the words penned by my favorite band, “do we know what life is outside of our convenient Lexus cages”? Is there something “Gone” that needs to be regained?

russians like rum

2007-10-23T08:24:00.000-04:00

Russians love their vodka. This is a well known fact. Though of course, they also like cheap beer, the other drink of choice for alcholics over here. But they also like rum.

My Russian friends have passed on a recipe for an extremely tasty mixed drink that I personally never heard of (that’s not saying much, though). I was told it was awesome, but I probably won’t get a chance to make one while I’ve over here. So if someone else wants to try it, you can let me know how it turns out. Unfortunately all I can give you is the ingredient list; I have no idea about the proportions. But I’m sure you can have some fun with trial and error.

"Mahita"
Brown Sugar
Lime
Mint
Sprite
Rum
Crushed Ice

verses out of rhythm

2007-10-08T12:26:00.000-04:00

These days I find myself walking the autumnal streets with a smidge of melancholy and wistfulness in my spirit. I feel like singing Simon & Garfunkel. Not only that, I feel like I’m dwelling and living out their songs. Every moment in this season and weather and place makes me want to dance at a Scarborough Fair… gives me the sense that darkness is my old friend… calls me to lie down like a bridge over my troubled waters… finds me wishing I was homeward bound to someone who would comfort me… and loses me in a dangling conversation… and I sometimes get the sense as I gaze from my window to the streets below that I am a rock and an island. (Because I have plenty of books to protect me…)

Oh, what melancholy. There’s beauty in the melancholy, but these songs are but a fitting foil for the greater beauty of the reality and truth of hope and joy itself. Inexpressible and glorious it is.

groceries

2007-10-03T16:30:00.000-04:00

Planning for two meals this week: 30 minutes
Shopping – for the very first time by myself! – at the large indoor/outdoor public Komarovsky Market: 40 minutes
One bag of celery: $4
One avocado: $3
Four potatoes: $.40
One bunch of green onions: $.50
Three white onions: $.40
One small packet of walnuts: $1.50
One garlic piece: $.25
Five tomatoes: $1.50
One head of broccoli: $1.25
One head of cabbage: $.75
Time spent carrying these groceries in my messenger bag, in the rain: 2.5 hours
Time preparing soup and salad at home: 2 hours
Time spent cleaning up: 30 minutes
Time it is now: 23:11

Time it took to get this posted: 20+ minutes
Time for bed. Phew!

of Belarusian-ness and orphans

2007-09-28T11:54:00.000-04:00

I am eating a cabbage carrot soup. I feel very Belarusian.

The leaves are falling left and right. Winter is almost here.

I won at speed scrabble the other night after 5 rounds of playing. My best word was “nascent.” I love that word.

I actually found a spelling mistake in someone else’s writing, which my 4 Belarusian friends failed to notice. The reason this is a big deal is because it was in Russian. Go me!

I visited an orphanage on Tuesday. Met a really interesting fella from Washington state who has been working at this orphanage for a while. He goes out to the fields with them in the mornings when they dig up beets and potatoes. He takes them to town to buy school supplies and toiletries out of his own pocket. He goes into the halls for every class break to hug the kids and walk with them for their extra 5 minutes. We visited with a lot of different kids. In one classroom they were making cards out of construction paper. All of their cards had hearts on them. A second classroom was full of newcomers. The boys all had shaved heads because of lice, and the one girl also had shortened hair for the same reason. They all had the same clothes on. While we were there they were painting the tables while the kids were still in the room for class time and it smelled awful. A third class was the oldest bunch of kids. Without having to be asked, they all simultaneously rose to their feet the moment we entered the room. A few of the girls in that class were amazingly beautiful. They could be models. But instead they are orphans. I remember one girl, Lera, had a particularly joyful countenance. She was always smiling.

Each orphan has his or her own story. How they got to be in this place. Most of them are tragic. Some still have parents, but their parents have either rejected them or are incapable of caring for them. Most of them that can’t care for them are alcoholics. Some mothers wanted an abortion and just drank and drank and drank in hopes of miscarrying… but the child was still born, and now suffers with the effects. One child witnessed one parent stabbing another. Another was put in an oven by her mother for a minute or more and still has awful raisin-like scars all along her right side of her body, and a badly mangled ear. The stories will break your heart.
They break mine.

foreigners on foreign territory in a foreign land

2007-09-17T12:15:00.000-04:00

I photographed a little kid from Nigeria, playing the piano on American territory in the country of Belarus. All those overlaps in culture make me smile. My fellowship here was invited to the ambassador’s house for a picnic. It was a windy, rainy, cold picnic. We also got a tour of the downstairs of the house. Apparently, the residence is considered American soil. So. Lots of Belarusians that day got to visit America visa-free. We had lots of fun jokes about that.

There is this really good melon here that comes from Kazakhstan. Sort of like a cantaloupe, except more elongated/larger, and white inside. It is really yummy. I’ve been munching on some the past two days.

Last night I was sleeping in my bed with at least 5 or 6 coverings (sheets and blankets.) I was wearing flannel pants and socks. I was still cold. Something is wrong with this picture. (Granted, the heat isn’t turned on in my building yet, and my windows leak cold air very badly from the chilly balcony, where it takes clothes at least 24 hours to dry.)

I don’t want to, but I think I will be starting Russian classes tomorrow. I don’t want to only because I have this weird new kid complex. I hate being the new kid. I always hated when school started back. The first week was the one I looked the most forward to being over. You’d think I’d be done with the new kid complex now, but no, I’m 25 and feel like I’m perpetually the new kid, and I don’t like it.

Still digging Stavesacre. Also been listening to Sinatra and The Fray.

changes.

2007-09-14T10:48:00.000-04:00

A few changes in the city…
There is finally a dome on the church/monastery being built at the end of the road by my apartment. It still looks far from being completed.

Work on a new metro stop is still underway. I don’t expect it to open while I’m here.

There is at least one new pizza place downtown that I’ll have to check out soon.

Metro and bus fares have increased by 100 roubles for adults and 50 roubles for students. So that is about 4.7 cents and 2.3 cents respectively.

I will have a new Russian teacher this year. A guy named Nikolai Nikolaevich.

It now takes me 18 minutes to walk to the metro. Last year it took me about 12. But I also have the option of taking a bus for 4 or 5 stops whereas last year no convenient bus was available to take me to the metro. While the weather is nice (above freezing) I’m trying to walk and not take the bus.

I have two roommates this year. One of the girls doesn’t speak English. At all. I think it’s splendid. Apartment life is, overall, splendid.

What is less-than-splendid is the seemingly-non-stop disco party going on somewhere below me in my apartment building. I can hear the disco beats at most hours of the day. Mercifully I don’t hear it at night. Like last year, I also have a smoker somewhere nearby in my building. It always wafts in through the vents in the evening. Most people in Minsk smoke, in general.

My soundtrack of choice for the day has been Project 86 and Stavesacre.

sunset on saturday.

2007-09-11T19:21:00.000-04:00

first week ramblings.

2007-09-11T19:18:00.000-04:00

I saw a young girl, perhaps 9 or 10 years old, riding the metro this evening by herself. I wondered what it would be like to be a kid using public transportation in a city of 2 million people in the evening without a parent, guardian, or older sibling to watch out for you. I am pretty sure I was never allowed to wander the streets of my suburb even by myself. I always had my sister or my best friend across the street to walk to the bus stop with. And if it was bad weather, my mom would drive me. I didn’t have a lot of opportunity to be independent when I was younger. I don’t think I learned how to be independent until I started to drive. I wondered, does this young girl enjoy being out in the city? Or was she scared to be out by herself? Was it a highlight to her day, or did she dread it and only felt a sigh of relief after she walked in the door to her home?

I sometimes step back and evaluate how I feel as I move about and live in this big eastern European city. I find myself doing a lot of things independently, on my own, more than I would in the States. My alone time in the States is usually in the car, as I drive around. Even when I have errands to run, a lot of times I have company, or as is often the case, a lot of errands can just be done at home, either by phone or the internet – paying bills, ordering a new CD or book, etc. In Minsk, I feel a lot more solitary. Now that I am going to start back with classes, I also am faced with a more solitary aspect of life. Last year I had several American friends in class with. We’d hang out on breaks together, go get tea or a snack together, hang out after class, grab lunch, etc. This year it will be harder for me… I probably will have about 10 Turkish guys in my class and no Americans. Broken Russian will be our only common language. I just can’t see myself hanging out in the same way with a bunch of guys who are in Belarus just to find a Belarussian wife. Ok, I better not stereotype. But saying most feel this way is pretty safe. Just sayin’. It also takes me longer to get to school. Yes, I have roommates now, but they are also hardly at home. So usually I am traveling 45 minutes by foot/bus/metro/foot again by myself. I people watch until I realize that most people are watching me. Then its just awkward to stare back… More often than not, I keep my iPod going so as not to get bored. I am afraid to read and miss my metro or bus stop, so I rarely do that. When I read I usually get in a zone. So life is a bit solitary.

And yet, you’d wonder, do I feel unsafe? After all, a young gal like myself, walking around alone, a foreigner and it being obvious to everyone around me that I am a foreigner seem like prime conditions to be taken advantage of. Yes, last year I had my wallet stolen off my person. But I am pretty sure a woman did it, and she did it on a very crowded bus where you have to let go of any desire to retain personal space. The weird thing is, I actually feel much more safe walking the streets of Minsk than I would the streets of America. There is crime in America. There is very little crime in Belarus. The only thing I worry about is drunkards. At night there are plenty. But, again, they’ve never actually bothered me. Sure, their drunken state bothers me, it bothers me that they leave beer bottles lying all over the streets, broken beer bottle glass in the elevators to step on, etc. But they never talk to me. Never hassle me. I’m bothered internally but not externally.

I’m a people person and like having people around me. I like having company. Unlike my friend Rand, I don’t have one or two or twelve orphan kids hanging around me 24/7. I don’t have my own car to drive in the city. So, in a way, it’s a little melancholy for me in this way, very un-Kristi to be by myself a lot of the time, riding the public transportation, surviving on my rusty Russian. But if I were to be solitary in this way here or in the States, I guess maybe I’d rather it be here.

******

Yesterday I carried my new travel French press around town, filled with some very yummy Coffee Times coffee. Let me just say, people were ALREADY going to stare at me because of my bright white new tennis shoes I got for running, and because I don’t look Belarusian, so I decided, what the heck, I don’t care. But having a travel coffee mug and taking it on the metro of all places DEFINITELY was a magnet for stares. I’ve been more annoyed by the staring this year than last. People, just get over it. Americans are really not THAT much more exciting.

******

We had small worms invade our kitchen cabinets. They even ate their way through some of the Ziplocs. Yuck. Not to mention, I’ve seen at least one cockroach climbing the shower wall. We also are hamster-sitting. So there are critters. Out and about.

******

Summer left. Took off. I saw it for a brief few hours the afternoon I flew in. The next day and every day since has been chilly. 15 to 18 degrees Celsius. Which is like 59-65 degrees Fahrenheit. Fall is here. I can’t wear short sleeves without a long sleeve shirt underneath or a jacket over top. Flip-flops are a no-go outside my building. Sigh. As I know from experience, fall also doesn’t last long. Winter will be here by October.

******

I’m ashamed to admit it, but I’ve already been to McDonald’s once. I do, however, have a good reason! I hadn’t seen my friend Rand yet, and so yesterday (Monday) he finally stopped by my apartment…. Around 8pm. We decided to get a late dinner. We went to Minsk’s new-ish underground mall, stalitza. There was a small café, called the Sun Café, that we went to for pizza. Rand, one of his orphans Sasha, and me. We’re talking in English most of the time. We order food. Rand gets a phone call. I’m zoning out, and tired. (Jet lag this time around has been rough.) While he’s on the phone, the waitress informs us that something we ordered is not available. That much I got. So Rand gets off the phone, and we re-order something for Sasha. We thought that was it. She brings our drinks. We wait 20 minutes. She brings Sasha’s food. We wait 10 minutes. She brings the check. No food for us. Finally I tell Rand I wasn’t really listening to her before, and he was on the phone and distracted, so we ask Sasha, what did the waitress say? He informs us there was no pizza for us. WELL. Wish we had been smart enough to think to ask Sasha sooner. So. Still hadn’t eaten and it’s 10pm. Where are we going to go? Yep. McDonalds. By this point I wasn’t that hungry. So we got McFlurries. Mine had raspberry flavoring in it and it was pretty yum.
That night I also gave Rand an Ale-8-1 straight from my hometown of Lexington, Kentucky. It was only slightly flat, but even so… he was won over. Spreading the Ale-8 love one person, one city, one state, one country at a time…

enjoy.

2007-09-11T19:14:00.000-04:00

hope you enjoy the new look. i was hard at work at it. :)

round 2.

2007-09-07T12:46:00.000-04:00

I made it back to Belarus. Here's to round two - more russian, meeting new people, reconnecting with old, and the mystery of what's in store this time around!

alabama

2007-07-31T21:26:00.000-04:00

you know you are in Alabama, the deep south, when...

...you step outside for 10 minutes and become mosquito meat, accumulating bites at a rate of more than 1 per 30 seconds. yes, this was my experience.

...the humidity in the air is actually visible, and might as well be tangible.

...you can't resist the smell of BBQ, and insist on eating BBQ for every meal. Or dreaming that you could eat it for every meal.

...you feel the need to say "ma'am" and "sir" every other word in the name of politeness.

...you can't help but slow down.

Bistro

2007-05-29T15:33:00.000-04:00

The word "Bistro" is of course commonly attributed to the French - refering to all their small, quick, cute cafes where you can pick up a sandwich or coffee or the like which have been assimilated to some extent into our culture in the States. But I learned that this word is actually not French. It's Russian. The French adopted this word, however, after Russian cossacks were "inhabiting" their terrority during the time of Napoleon, and not being able to speak French, they simply shouted to the waitresses in Russian "быстро!" - [bwui-stra] - which is the Russian word for "quick! fast! hurry!" and thus... we have the butchered version "bistro."

Yea for history and language lessons. :)

The ebullient Russian word

2007-05-25T14:51:00.000-04:00

"As a numberless multitude of churches and monasteries with their cupolas, domes, and crosses is scattered over holy, pious Russia, so a numberless multitude of tribes, generations, peoples also throngs, ripples, and rushes over the face of the earth. And each of these peoples, bearing within itself the pledge of its strength, filled with the creative capacity of the soul, with its own marked peculiarity and other gifts of God, is in an original fashion distinguished by its own word, which, whatever subject it may express, reflects in that expression a portion of its character. A knowledge of hearts and a wise comprehension of life resound in the word of the Briton; like a nimble fop the short-lived word of the Frenchman flashes and scatters; whimsically does the German contrive his lean, intelligent word, not accessible to all; but there is no word so sweeping, so pert, so bursting from beneath the very heart, so ebullient and vibrant with life, as an aptly spoken Russian word."

-Ch. 5, Dead Souls by Nikolai Gogol

wowza, it's HOT

2007-05-21T15:26:00.000-04:00

I rolled out of bed at 7:15ish, after one particular kitty woke me up repeatedly since 5:15am... and I noticed the thermometer outside read... 29 degrees Celsius... !!! WOWZA!!! I was pleasantly astounded!

The only sad news was that the night before a friend's dog ate my flip flops, leaving me without shoes that allow for toe breathing. And my toes must breathe on such a day!! *sigh* I was resigned to wear my saucony's (usually not a resigned action, seeing as how they are some of my favorite shoes, but all the same... socks on a hot day is just not something to look forward to).

I did, however, spend about 4 hours walking around the city with a pal. This was after, mind you, I successfully ran various errands around the city by myself, which necessitated speaking in Russian, without internally freaking out. (Yes, this is big for me. ;) haha.) What a lovely day it was.

Today the city was celebrating the arrival of Iran's president. (No comment...)

I'm running again.

I've also realized I'm really not that much of a cat person. Infinitely prefer dogs. But a cat is still better than no living animal to have around...

Might be going to Russia soon... (sorry Lauren!) But I don't plan on shelling out any money to look at some dead freaky embalmed... ok you get my point...

I had a thought when I got on here, and well, ... it flew away somewhere... there's always next time I guess...

Belarusians don't discriminate against dandelions

2007-05-18T17:03:00.000-04:00

I think it's splendid.

2007-05-05T13:44:00.000-04:00

Things I miss about the States:
Hymns and all things PCA
Good coffee houses where you can stay for hours
Convenient and affordable places to buy clothes and shoes
Bookstores
(Usually) Friendly customer service
Freedom of driving/Ease of travel
Having a real spring
Variety of good restaurants and good beers
Running in parks and around town, and it being normal
Backyards
College sports

Things I don’t miss about the States:
Hollywood gossip
Rat race
Fixation on time and being busy, living by the clock
Spending gobs of money on gas
Extravagance
Fast food
Malls
Parking lots
Cost of living
Lackluster appreciation of the arts (by a majority of the populace)
The advertising industry

call for a poem

2007-04-18T18:48:00.000-04:00

So I suggested that my Russian class read classic russian poems in class sometime. I guess I was nostalgic about senior language at St. John's... my Russian teacher like this idea, and then counter-proposed that I find a good English poem to translate into Russian and share with the class... oy! Not as easy.

So here is an open call for suggestions... I need a poem, preferably well known or written by someone well known, which was written originally in English, and is not too long or complicated... IOW, T.S. Eliot would probably be out.

Any suggestions? Oh yea, and I need to find the poem on the internet.... help!!

flowers!

2007-04-15T17:38:00.000-04:00

In Belarus, I re-use teabags and matches. Plastic grocery bags also get at least 10 uses before having to be thrown away because of holes. Conservation and economy are more of a norm, and take on new levels over here.

I was walking to a friend's flat the other day and I passed by a young mother with her son, who was just at that age to be walking with the assistance of her hand. He was pointing at objects and saying what they were. He pointed and said (in russian) "Flowers!" His mother replied, "No, not flowers, it's a car." It made me smile.

I currently have a roommate named Evie, a little kitten. She is at the moment sitting on my lap, as I type.

She also likes to jump on high places, and occasionally, for her that can mean my head.

springing forward

2007-03-25T16:23:00.000-04:00

We finally sprung forward with daylight savings time last night. I don't really know why we were about 3 weeks behind the States, or the States 3 weeks ahead of us, but so it goes. And the weather here has been very spring-like which has been simply wonderful.

Today was independence day in Belarus, marking their original independence that was pre-Soviet Union. However, it has only come to light as a celebration in Minsk recently because of certain political groups (i.e. not the government). Thus, there were peaceful demonstrations around the city, of which you can probably read about at www.charter97.org
I experienced a bit of inconvenience thanks to these demonstrations, but of course, it also was a bit interesting for me to witness. As I tried to leave church with 2 friends (1 thankfully was Belarussian), our bus was not allowed to stop to pick us up… because the bus would be driving by the central square where the demonstrations were planned. The metro stop at the center of the city also was shut down…. For the entire day… creating havoc when I had to switch metro lines and was unable to later that evening… Also, there were human and fence blockades on the sidewalks in about a 2-4 block radius around the center. Therefore, I had the experience of walking through hundreds of people (while also managing to get a photograph or two) carrying the old Belarus flag around, then had to walk 4-5 blocks away from the center, and then make a loop back to the main road… a nice 30 minute detour, that normally would’ve been a 5-10 minute walk on the main road. Several times police kept us from walking up certain streets (hence why I was thankful to have a Belarussian escort to find out where we COULD walk to get on the other side of the main city center). Overall, the day seemed a bit uneventful, and I don’t think there was much momentum for this protest. ((update: after perusing the above site, it seems there was quite a bit of momentum later in the day, and at different parts of the city. I simply did not manage to see very much from my end. the only way I would have seen much would have been by pushing my way through human blockades, and well, I wasn't about to do that for sure!! It also appears it was not totally peaceful, as force was used to restrain protesters.)) I did however manage to pass all of the ambassadors to Belarus - EU and American - strolling TOWARD the main square, accompanied by many reporters and photographers, right smack in front of the kgb building. I wondered if they were going to make a statement or something on this day, or wave their own former Belarus flag … ((they are also mentioned at the above site))

ladybug

2007-03-13T17:06:00.000-04:00

I learned today that a "ladybug" is called in Russian something along the lines of "God's little cow."

Now, aren't you just so glad you stopped by my blog today to find out this little piece of information?? :)

frustrations, magic 8-balls, and saying hello to spring

2007-03-01T15:01:00.000-05:00

Everyday can’t be “your” day. Yesterday was such a day for me. I lost my eyeglasses for about 20 panicked minutes shortly before 15 people were expected at my apartment. I accidentally dumped a glass of water all over my kitchen table – unknowingly – while my laptop sat on this same table, and soon I discovered that my laptop was SITTING in a puddle of water. My speakers disappeared for a while, and then were off and on for the rest of the day. (Now I think they’re fine.) Then I killed my shift key. While working on my computer at my desk, I accidentally knocked a photo frame off the shelf above it… and the corner landed right on the shift key and suddenly I heard POP and there flew the shift key off the keyboard. I had to perform emergency surgery, not knowing what the heck I was doing, and now I pray that it’s fixed and won’t decide to randomly fall off...

I’ve also learned that perhaps I need to take more cues from the Belarussians. I can imagine myself sitting with a magic 8-ball in my hands….

Question: Am I a stupid American?
Answer: It is decidedly so.

You see, the snow is wonderful. I love the snow. But when the temperature gets above freezing, there is this phenomenon known as “melting.” Then, not only is the snow no longer snow, but slush and water or even sludge, but it’s not pretty, and it is a trap for city dwellers… Because when you are walking along streets at night, with all this slush and water, you find yourself INEVITABLY walking through puddles, nay, veritable LAKES in the middle, er, taking up the entire width, of a given street…. So, why does stepping into these lakes of wet doom make me a stupid American? Well, you see, it’s because I wasn’t taking cues from the Belarussians. They have this “fashion style” (which I know now also comes from experience and wisdom) to wear their boots over or on top of their jeans. Being an American, I’ve never really done this, or never had boots that would be proper to do it with, and of course all my jeans have a boot or wide cut leg, making it difficult (and uncomfortable) to stuff all this extraneous material into your shoe… so generally, I just haven’t done it. I kept wearing my jeans over my boots. But then these past two days, I met the lakes disguised as harmless puddles, and suddenly found myself wading through water over and over again over the course of a 10 minute walk in my neighborhood. Well, it was nasty. My jeans were unhappy, as you can see. So maybe I should stop being so stubborn and start learning some practical tips for dealing with the unexpected perils in a winter wonderland…

p.s. Happy First Day of Spring. Well, at least Belarus celebrates the first day of spring as March 1st. Which makes no sense, since it's earlier than it is celebrated in the States, but Belarus is last to really experience spring-time weather. Maybe they just redefine spring to mean "lots of slush and rain and wind" instead of what I think of as spring, being, "sunny skies and blooming flowers."

spartacus

2007-02-24T15:41:00.001-05:00

For the first time in my life, I went to see a ballet. (At least, the first time which I can really remember or have the ability to make a judgment of personal taste… I have a vague notion that I might have “seen” the Nutcracker in NYC, but if so, I was probably only 7 years old and I probably fell asleep…) There are a few certain cultural events that you must take part in or experience wherever you are, and I have realized that over here, these cultural musts can be narrowed down to: the circus, the opera, traditional dance, ballet. After tonight, all that remains is the opera.

The show was Spartacus. I am sure Plutarch had something to say about this guy, but I wouldn’t really know, I never got into Plutarch very much beyond required reading, and of what was required, I haven’t retained much (sadly). I wasn’t sure what I would think of ballet. I mean, I like to dance, but watching dance was another thing… and not just any dance, but ballet dance… I attended dance recitals of a friend in high school, and well, found those trying to sit through. So, tonight I wasn’t expecting too much; I was just looking to enjoy myself at something new for the evening. As it turned out, I became a sold fan. Granted, I could have really done just fine with 2 acts. The 3rd act was pushing it a bit for me onto the long side. Having that said, I was quite impressed. Musically, physically, aesthetically overall. I’ve heard that Romeo and Juliet tends to be one of the favorites around here, so I hope my next ballet will be to that one.

Also, as an aside, there is a verdant cultural texture and richness in the arts here in Minsk. I don’t think this is unusual for this part of the world. Ballet and opera and theater and concerts are attended regularly by everyone in the populace, so it seems. It isn’t just for the “artsy folks.” Everyone here enjoys this cultural, shall we say, tradition? Furthermore, there is a tremendous heritage of writers and poets. Many a street is named after poets and writers throughout this city. If you want your name to be on a street sign in Minsk, you better be a writer or a revolutionary. Up until recently, the main street running through the city center was named after a man who made a significant literary and religious contribution to this country, the man who translated the Bible into Belarussian language. Sadly, the name has been changed. But the secular poets and writers have retained their places in society, with street names and monuments, statues and busts.

national men's day

2007-02-23T16:10:00.000-05:00

February 23rd is national army day. But then, it somehow was morphed into national men's day... the men all just claimed it as their own holiday. I unknowingly celebrated this day. I had made chocolate cupcakes and invited friends over, but then it was cool when I realized there was an actual occasion to share these cupcakes! But I think there is also some strategic planning of this holiday... because in about 2 weeks, there is a national women's day... so all the men who got treated so nicely on their day now feel obligated to do something for the women, when otherwise they might have been too lazy .... ;) At least, I am sure that is the logic behind the timing of these two holidays...

thanks

2007-02-14T16:09:00.000-05:00

I can’t remember the last time I lived somewhere where it was snowing for multiple consecutive days. It snowed here for 5 days in a row, then the snow took a weekend off, and again this morning, it was snowing. The ground goes from white to brown to slush to ice and back to white… I am sure there has been over 6 inches of snowfall in the past week. It’s really quite lovely… I really love snow. If it’s going to be cold, I want there to be snow.

I had the chance to enjoy a Valentine’s “date” at McDonald’s for lunch today, but I turned it down. Well, I would have had to pay for myself anyway, and I didn’t have time, and it’s McDonald’s. So, no. No excitement on Valentine’s day.

I had a Reese’s peanut butter cup today. Oh-so-delectable!! The small joys from America are worth noting.

Belarussians don’t get baked potatoes. They don’t eat them like that. They don’t cook them like that. It’s a new concept for them. They do however like drinks made from birch sap…

I had the opportunity to thank someone this past week for doing something that changed my life forever. I’ve thought about, off and on for several years now, this girl I knew when I was in seventh grade. She was the first person to share with me about who Jesus is. Not that I believed her, or the truth she spoke of, then. I moved and we lost touch. But later, it was her sharing that propelled me to investigate truth for myself. It was her sharing that propelled me into a life that follows after Him who is Truth. So it’s been on my mind and heart to track her down and give thanks. But I had no idea how this would ever happen…. yet thanks to one of those annoying social networking websites that I like to gripe about… I stumbled upon her. So now I can’t gripe about them too much, but thank them. I was able to express in writing what a difference her words and life made in my life, over 11 years ago. What was even more awesome was when she thanked me for expressing my thanksgiving, because it came at a time when she needed encouragement like that. Being thankful people is an awesome command of our Dad. It glorifies Him, yes, and it’s also a privilege to give thanks to people too. So, thanks Dad, for letting me participate in thanksgiving, and for reconnecting with a girl whose life intersected with mine for less than a year – a brief time, but a revolutionary time.

lately

2007-02-06T16:31:00.000-05:00

lately i've been embarassing myself by pretending i can rap in russian. on video.

lately i've been learning about the Old Testament, and even had to write two papers based on the OT!!

lately i've been procrastinating from doing russian homework, cuz i don't understand it anyway....

lately i've been listening to music in ukrainian.... which i also don't understand much of....

lately i found myself spending nearly 16 consecutive hours on trains. ugh.

lately i've been enjoying some new snow boots which are quite handy with the recent weather... since i've lately noticed that people in Belarus are not that concerned about shoveling the snow.

lately i've been living in the moment. i don't want to miss the goodness that is enveloped in the now.

lately i've been thinking that i am in exactly the right place at the right time.

lately i've been embracing the mystery in life.

numbers

2007-01-17T15:14:00.000-05:00

Half an hour in transit to my university. Three hours of Russian class. One chocolate bar consumed. One hour of walking and praying through the city. Two hours of business meeting. 2 pieces of pizza enjoyed – complete with red pepper, pepperoni, mystery green sauce, and eggs as toppings. One hour editing English grammar for a friend. One letter written to the dean of my university, entirely in Russian. Night sky already out by 4:50pm. Another half hour in transit back to my apartment. 37,210 roubles spent at the grocery store. 40 minutes chopping cabbage, pepper, onion for a new salad recipe. One sinkful of dishes washed. One massive spider squashed. One wet bathroom floor mopped. A third of a bag of pelmini consumed (a yummy Belarussian food). One cup of vanilla green chai being drunk slowly. An hour navigating through my Russian homework – I’ve taken 37 pages of notes since January 3rd. Four SMS messages received, three SMS messages written. One great smell permeating my apartment: white chocolate mint (yankee candle). Listening to the Dixie Chicks, Dar Williams, and the Cure. At least 30 minutes on the internet, and a guaranteed two or three more hours until my head hits the pillow. All in a good day’s work. And now only 3 days until I drive to Lithuania for 10 days.

For one of the first times I can remember, I encountered a friendly grocery store worker.

I miss being able to buy a head of lettuce. I’m having to learn to like cabbage. Sigh.

I miss wi-fi. Dial-up is not my cup of tea.

I say “oy!” a lot, and can’t for the life of me think of what I used to say instead of “oy!” Oops? Shoot? Dang? Whoops? UGH? But I like the “oy.”

egypt details...

2007-01-14T16:53:00.000-05:00

Some people have been asking about Egypt, so I’ll give a little more info about all the fun experiences I had…

I won’t lie, I was pretty depressed in December! I just saw the departure of many wonderful American friends shortly after Thanksgiving, and I was feeling their absence, and the impending reality of a very windy and cold winter was all the more saddening… So getting away to a more southern, sunny, and warm locale was the goal. One of my friends was also a willing companion for a travel, and thanks to a generous donation from generous and loving people, the possibility of Egypt was soon a reality… Why Egypt, per se, you may ask?? Well, there is this “little” problem that all my Belarussian friends have with obtaining visas…. And Egypt is one of the few countries that does not present this big obstacle…

I generally am not a huge fan of beaches. I would prefer hiking or more active sight-seeing. But this trip afforded the best of both worlds for me. Vegging beachside and touring. We went to Sharm-El-Sheikh, which is on the shore of the Red Sea, on the east side that faces Saudia Arabia. It is a famous snorkeling spot for all the fish and corals. I had the opportunity to snorkel in about 3 or 4 different locations, and the variety of corals and fish I saw was simply spectacular. But after a few days of lounging on the beach, suntanning and what-not, we took the first of three excursions to Mt. Sinai. We took a bus about 2 hours to the mountain base, and arrived around 1:30am. We began hiking in this pitch blackness, having only flashlights and the breathtaking starlit sky above as our guides. We would stop for breaks every 30-60 minutes, and finally arrived near the summit around 5am. We had to wait until 6am for the sun to rise, and we enjoyed the spectacular view. Hiking up Mt. Sinai gave me a lot of opportunity to think about Moses and what it must have been like for him and the Israelites in this wilderness of Egypt… It is a wilderness that is simultaneously breaktaking and frightening… frightening because you have to wonder, what did they eat? How did they manage wandering in such a place for so many years?? It is secluded, barren, rocky, dry, dusty. It is lonely. After the hike up, we took a rocky stair climb down to the base again, and visited the monastery where supposedly THE Burning Bush has been transplanted and thriving since Biblical times. Who knows. But the monastery was the oldest Orthodox monastery in the world. I think. It was quite lovely.

The second excursion we enjoyed was to Cairo. Cairo is a city of 21 million people. Pretty amazing. It is huge, hazy, old, dirty. You can see people driving cars, riding bicycles, riding horses, or driving carts pulled by donkeys in the city streets. On the street where their President lives there are hordes of military personnel on guard at all times. They tended to stand at attention in clusters of three. In Cairo, we visited the over 100 year old Egyptian Museum. The highlight for me was seeing up close and in person all the gold, jewelry, and ornate coffins (sarcophaguses?) that were excavated from King Tut’s tomb. I had seen pictures and read so much in elementary and middle school about King Tut, and then suddenly, the things I had only seen in books from childhood were within sight, only a foot away behind glass. Everything was truly impressive. After the museum, we sampled scents of perfumes made locally. Then we headed to a papyrus museum and learned how they made papyrus paper. Of course, we also drove out to Giza and enjoyed time walking around, taking in, and photographing the pyramids and the sphinx. And yes, they are massive. They were as large as I expected them to be, and were not a disappointment. The amazing thing is to see the Bedouins dwelling in a complete desert on the other side of the pyramids. On the one side, a big growing city of Giza, and on the opposite side, nothing but desert wilderness and camels and their Bedouin owners…

The third excursion we went on was an off-roading adventure through the desert of the Sinai peninsula. We went north, stopped in the middle of nowhere – literally it seemed – to have tea with some of the Bedouin desert dwellers. They were constantly trying to sell you something and the children would look for an easy handout from the tourists. Our off-roading eventually led us to the shores of the Red Sea again, where we enjoyed lunch in a Beduoin hut on the beach, snorkeled in the beautiful waters, and then continued on our way by camel. Yes, for nearly an hour, I rode a tall, slow moving camel (and no, I never spotted a spitting camel…), ambling among the water’s shore within sight of Saudia Arabia, and navigating through small rocky overpasses. The camel ride gave me a lot of time to photograph some awesome views of sea and sky and local kids helping us lead our camels along on our way. After an hour, I also realized that riding camels can be a very uncomfortable experience and my realization was enforced all the more when large bruises showed up on my legs from the uncomfortable “saddle” I had to sit on for the entire ride. Eventually, we got back into jeeps and headed to the city of Dahab. There we snorkeled in the one of the more famous spots, the Blue Hole. It was a spot where the corals were the height of two story buildings at least, and surrounded you on all sides, leaving you a pillar of water in the middle to swim in while soaking in the beauty and peacefulness of the marine world.

Of course, our trip could not have been complete without many interesting Egyptian men eager to befriend foreign women. Every Egyptian man I talked to was simply shocked I was American. I would speak half Russian, half English with them, because most people I was in contact with spoke Russian and not English. My tour guide up Mt. Sinai heard me speaking English all of a sudden, and asked me, where did I learn to have such good English? I said, you know, I lived in the States for 24 years… He was shocked. Did I study there? What did I do there? And I replied, well, you know, I’m an American citizen… I was born there and lived there nearly my whole life… (hahaha.) It was a funny little joke.

music and virtue

2007-01-09T17:21:00.000-05:00

I’m savoring some limited edition Ghirardelli peppermint bark chocolate right now… oy! So delectable.

As I am away from the States right now, I’m coming to see why there are a lot of people who find us… really irritating. I thought I knew why before coming to Belarus, but… I’m getting a different perspective just by the sheer fact of having my dwelling place geographically located somewhere else… I’ve had to think about the things I value and why I value them… and where to make the distinction before a standard of goodness and personal preference or even inculcated or acculturated predispositions. Ah, yes, I find myself dancing around the timeless question, what is virtue?...

I hung out with a few girls last night. I was sharing some of my music with them. I was shocked… They had never heard of bands that I thought would be well known by now in most parts of the world, including Eastern Europe… like Dave Matthews Band. Counting Crows. Smashing Pumpkins. Barenaked Ladies. Moby. Simon and Garfunkel. Lauryn Hill. The Cure. Dashboard Confessional. B.B. King. Switchfoot. Frank Sinatra. Nope. Never heard of them. Granted, I wouldn’t have been shocked if 2 or 3 of those I just listed they didn’t know… I am sure many people in the States don’t know some of those groups. But to not know ANY of those 12 groups/singers was the bit that really astounded me. (I guess by now I should know that I shouldn’t have been shocked about such things in Belarus…)

They had heard, however, of U2 and the Cranberries, probably because they are European bands and not American bands… Though to their credit, they did know a few American singers and groups… namely, Lifehouse, Norah Jones,…