shock

shock, originally uploaded by krisde.

Seminar Notes I

I am getting ready to travel to Santa Fe this weekend to visit friends Freya and Jake at St. John's College, and have plans to sit in on the junior seminar Monday night with my non-Johnnie friend Lauren. The seminar is on Rousseau's Social Contract. Last night, I pulled out my copy and perused through the text. As one who likes to underline, mark up, and take notes in my books, I occasionally run across notes from seminars. And so it was, that in Discourse on the Origin of Inequality, I stumbled across this note:

le monde - the world as a "cosmic tofu": colorless, formless, textureless

Isn't seminar great??? If only I knew who to attribute that to...

This may start me on a hunt through seminar books in search of other seminar quotes, whether quirky, inane, or profound... Other Johnnies, feel free to share "great" quotes from seminar (whether the quotes actually constitute of greatness qua greatness is another matter. ;)

Politics and the Cave

As I continue to follow news reports and articles about the goings on in Belarus, I am noticing two distinct strains of thought by the reporters and in the editorials. Either:
1. The writer supports the opposition and decries the travesty of the beatings by police and the jailing of the protesters… IOW, they want a regime change
2. The writer decries the Western media for distorting the truth to reach their own ends, and support the election results as being accurate and the will of the people… IOW, they don’t think the people want a regime change

This is puzzling to me because the two perspectives are not polar opposite. No one in Category 2 says they support 100% the reigning President. The blame for the opposition’s activity resides with the West, not the government or authorities. Everyone in Category 1 speaks about the problems of their nation as evidence and reasons for why there needs to be a regime change. Category 2 folks don’t even address their concerns.

Here is what I find is missing: no one is actually evaluating the psyche of the entire population of that nation in how they are deciding whether there is or is not a need for a change.

Category 1 people have their eyes focused on the cause they believe in, irregardless of what others may think or say. Even if their nation is against them, as the opposition, 99 to 1, they will still fight. Now, Category 2 people have their eyes focused on their own lives and wanting them to return to their peaceful normalcy, spurning the opposition and blaming the West for creating chaos. Even if the opposition has a reasonable cause to oppose, they will still ignore their reason. OK, so what are the motivating factors here? Category 1 people see problems and they want change. They see oppression and they want freedom. Category 2 people see prosperity and stability and do not want change. They see safety and do not want chaos. There is a clear difference in perspective.

The few individuals who would rather have freedom (than stability and prosperity) pursue it at the cost of those who do not wish it. (I acknowledge stability is not the antithesis of freedom; however, to achieve the freedom there unfortunately is an almost guaranteed instability, albeit for a little while… and in some cases, a long while…) For these individuals, the will of the majority is null when freedom is at stake. Their cause is not even a democratic one, it is a moral one. A second reason their cause is a moral one is the fact that the will of the majority may not be a valid will, if the will is forced to choose one path over another. The majority, if they are ignorant of any alternative, has a void will. They have the guise of having an active will but in reality they have a passive will, choosing the only path available… If I blindfold you and ask you to tell me what you see, you say nothing. But on the other side of the blindfold, there may be a world unrealized, that is, objectively true, absolutely real, though relatively non-existent. But I willed you to say you could see nothing, because I gave you no alternative by putting the blindfold on you. My analogy is not stellar, but think of it this way, fellow philosophers: Category 1 have emerged from the cave… anyone not in Category 1 (Category 2 people and everyone else remaining silent on the issue, who we will call Category 3 people) is still staring at shadows on the wall. (Shouldn’t the Category 1 folks feel that it is [divinely] imperative to bring the rest out of the cave’s darkness?)

Let me come full circle here, back to the political talk. What is neglected by Category 2 and 3 folks is their approach to or perspective of the problems that the opposition party is discussing. Either, a) the majority does not consider the so-called problems as being problems, b) the majority does not know there are problems, or c) the majority accepts the problems for the sake of X (insert: prosperity, stability, etc.)

If (a), then the majority has a different definition of right and wrong, good and evil. I may say that repressing freedom of speech is wrong. But the majority may say that repressing freedom of speech is not wrong (i.e. serving some good, higher purpose) – in this case, the higher purpose is the will of the government authority.
If (b), then the majority is unwittingly, unknowingly ignorant of the problems as existing, or in other words, they cannot be blamed for thinking the way they do… they know of no other alternative (back to the cave analogy)
If (c), then the majority cares for themselves and neither the collective nor the individuals… They ultimately care solely for themselves. It doesn’t matter if their neighbor cannot speak freely; there is no love for neighbor as they would love themselves.

(A) is an intellectual issue, one that will require dialogue to find the common ground of what is good and bad. Relativism is the problem
(B) is a political issue, one that will require the exposure of the misinformation the majority receives. Propaganda is the problem
(C) is a spiritual issue, one that will require a change of heart to love and care for one’s neighbor, willing to fight the good fight for justice, truth, goodness. Apathy, Indifference, and antagonism to God are the problems

I think I’m done now.

*update: A girl in her 20s who I met last fall was released last night at 3am from a Minsk prison... AND the Afghan Christian was released as well, even while some were chanting "Death to Christians!" in protest. (Which isn't shocking, but saddening.)
Glory to God; the prayers of many have prevailed!

foggy wake up

trees in fog, originally uploaded by krisde.

I awoke one morning and found the trees in my line of sight engulfed in fog.

a dark day halfway across the world

A dark day for Belarus.

some might have said the end was near

Is this the end or the beginning? Or perhaps we can't say... We'll see what comes on Saturday, and after that, 5 more years of repression and stony silence, or something more vocal and tumultuous...?

I travel to Santa Fe 1 week from today. Can't wait.

I'm making pizza tonight. On Saturday, I will be shopping for a new computer, cleaning, perhaps going on a photo shoot with my Holga, and ice-skating.

Turmoil around the world

Monday was supposed to be the first day of spring. Then on Tuesday it snowed.

Rhonda wins the bet. :) I have met with success! My parking ticket appeal paid off... Literally... I got my ticket refunded in full. I was, in fact, in the wrong. But since I wasn't a student and only a "visitor," they upheld my appeal. So they were merciful (and my appeal still held water since the sign was unclear). My faith is renewed in finding justice in this world. ;)

Turmoil in Belarus continues. I support the cause for freedom and justice in this country. At the same time, it is folly to place one's trust in something like democracy. Democracy will not solve all problems. This is evident, I think, not only in our own country, but also abroad where we spread democracy, like in the Middle East. The issues of the Middle East extended way beyond their corrupt political structure... Just look at the rampant tensions between classes and faiths... and the same is true of Belarus. All problems will never be solved this side of faith. It is the other side of faith, in the Kingdom come, where there is any hope. I hope Belarus is able to institute democracy if that will help them regain some of their freedoms that are currently denied them - freedoms of religion, speech, assembly - but it won't give them a political utopia either.

An Afghan man faces the death penalty for converting to Christianity. With all the troubles in Belarus, it is a sober reminder that in other nations, there are even harsher limitations and laws against religious freedom. In Belarus, it is not illegal to be a Christian; but in a country like Afghanistan, a Christian could face death.

And since we have so much cheerful news already, let's mull over the global warming crisis. I confess I know very little about global warming, so someone jump in here. But it is a shame to think about what a poor job we are doing as mankind to take care of this earth, not to mention, our own bodies. We who are stewards of what God has given us are doing a shoddy job of it.

Where was cancer 100, 500 years ago? Where was obesity? Disease continues, and a lot is at our own hands. As I drive to work I think about all the pollution of all these cars, and that I breathe in this pollution day in and out. I think about the shampoo and soaps I use, and how they are filled with proven cancer-causing agents like propylene glycol, sodium lauryl sulfate, aluminum, among other products, not to mention the fatty oils that derive from plants that process dead animals... ugh. Though there are alternatives that are chemical free, they are costly.

The populace used to be employed outdoors, regularly walking everywhere, which gave great opportunity for exercise. This is no longer prevalent in the U.S., but in Europe where there are fewer vehicles, they also have less of a problem with obesity. Hmm... wonder why. So instead, the smart Americans are chained to desks and chairs in fluorescent lit buildings, staring at computer screens. The only walking we do is to and from the parking lot and to and from the bathroom down the hall. We develop bad eyesight, carpal tunnel, arthritis AND weight problems. Let me reiterate.... "UGH."

Election results

The NY Times reports on the Belarus elections...

The reigning dictator took over 82% of the vote, with the leading opposition candidate garnering only about 5% of the vote. Speculations currently abound as to whether or not the election was free and fair. Irregardless, it is clear that there is unrest and division among the people, as the dictator continues to hold sway over a large section of the population while many vehemently oppose him. Whether his support is over 50% would be hard to say, but it looks like no changes in administration will happen before 2011 now.

I'm relieved that the KGB did not bring down their wrath on the protesters. The dictator had issued a death threat for anyone who would turn out to protest. The protests it seems were peaceful, with thousands pouring into the streets in the capital of Minsk after the close of the polls. Original numbers reported 6,000 -7,000 people, but later this number swelled to 20,000 - 30,000. What the country really needs is about 10 times that amount of people on the street... with a city of 2 million people, you really need at least a quarter of your people on the streets...

Irish tribute

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

It wasn't until I was in Ireland that I reflected I was actually proud to be Irish. I'm a part of the illustrious (I laugh as I type that) O'Barr clan (via my mother's ancestry)... I laugh only because we're not your normal Irish "O'Brien" or "McCarthy." I have yet to meet an O'Barr that I am not related to. (However, I have met, even within my own church in KY, others that share my English last name and who, as far as I know, are unrelated to me.) A brief internet search tells me that perhaps they come from the county of Donegal. But I have no clue. When I was in Ireland, you could say I was enthralled by the beauty of the countryside, the simplicity of the people, and the slower pace of life. I am not sure I could live the rest of my days there, but it would do my soul some good to spend at least some extended amount of time there.

One story: It was my 20th birthday and I was in Dingle, a small town on the peninsula by the same name on the south west coast. We were going to have a spaghetti dinner. We went shopping in this quaint pantry of a grocery. It had two aisles, one cash register. Even then, it was crowded. I couldn't find what I was wanting. I don't remember now if I wanted a certain sauce, a type of butter, or a type of cheese. The middle aged woman working at the store inquired if I needed help. I replied that the store didn't have what I was looking for. Her kind, innocent reply was "Well, we have everything you could need." I couldn't help but smile and think to myself, "By golly, she's right! They have everything I need!" She had won me over with her gentility and simplicity, and for the moment, I was convinced. Ahh... the Irish.

Like the good Irish I am, I'm wearing green today... though I might have to take a raincheck on my pint o' beer until tomorrow... tonight I'm teaching high schoolers how to swing dance! If only I knew the jig.

Enjoy the shamrock hue of my blog for the weekend. :)

surprise

So I got off work yesterday and my parents called. They wanted to take me out to dinner. And they let me pick where. Well, you better believe I picked a steakhouse. OH yes, I had my juicy ribeye after all yesterday.

God is good.

Slow Thursday

What sounds good right now is a nice, juicy ribeye steak. I love meat. I also love fruit, but it would be brutal for me to be a vegetarian or vegan.

It is a slow Thursday afternoon at the office. I don't even care enough about the NCAA Tournament to keep up to date on the scores to pass time. Instead I read about the latest arrests in Belarus. 4 days to election day... it's not looking very pretty. Neither is the sky outside... looks gray, like possible rain. Things are well with my soul; this application is stretching my brain and making me do some serious introspection, contemplation, and well thought out articulation of my opinions and beliefs. I always thought it was a good exercise to reflect every now and then on how my perspectives have changed over time, what I've realized is important (or unimportant) to me. Sort of like a life's creed. Ever heard of Robert Fulghum? Pretty odd fella he is, and a decent storyteller. I enjoy his quirky anecdotes and essays in his numerous books. He is also the author of a brief creed about life via an analogy, entitled "All I Need to Know About Life I Learned in Kindergarten." And because I scoff in the face of copyright laws, here it is:

All I really need to know about how to live and what to do and how to be I learned in kindergarten. Wisdom was not at the top of the graduate school mountain, but there in the sand pile at school.

These are the things I learned:
Share everything.
Play fair.
Don't hit people.
Put things back where you found them.
Clean up your own mess.
Don't take things that aren't yours.
Say you're sorry when you hurt somebody.
Wash your hands before you eat.
Flush.
Warm cookies and cold milk are good for you.
Live a balanced life - learn some and think some and draw and paint and sing and dance and play and work every day some.
Take a nap every afternoon.
When you go out in the world, watch out for traffic, hold hands and stick together.
Be aware of wonder. Remember the little seed in the Styrofoam cup: the roots go down and the plant goes up and nobody really knows how or why, but we are all like that.
Goldfish and hamsters and white mice and even the little seed in the Styrofoam cup - they all die. So do we.
And then remember the Dick-and-Jane books and the first word you learned - the biggest word of all - LOOK.
Everything you need to know is in there somewhere. The Golden Rule and love and basic sanitation. Ecology and politics and equality and sane living.

Take any one of those items and extrapolate it into sophisticated adult terms and apply it to your family life or your work or government or your world and it holds true and clear and firm. Think what a better world it would be if we all - the whole world - had cookies and milk at about 3 o'clock in the afternoon and then lay down with our blankies for a nap. Or if all governments had as a basic policy to always put things back where they found them and to clean up their own mess.

And it is still true, no matter how old you are, when you go out in the world, it is best to hold hands and stick together.

So, I think I can't sit down and write my own thoughtful credo or reflections on changed perspectives or outlooks on life in a mere 15 minutes (when that clock hits 5, I'm outta here), but I hope to return to this soon.

Atheist up for auction

According to a Wall Street Journal article from last week, an atheist put himself on eBay, offering to spend 1 hour attending church services for every $10 (of a bid). He advertised that it was the best chance anyone had of converting him. The highest bidder put up $504. The winning gentleman met this atheist and instead asked him to attend 10-15 church services of his choosing, and follow up by chronicling the experience on a website where he would post his reactions and reflections. He was asked to score the preacher, critique church bulletins...

I find this very, very strange. Nowadays, anything is marketed or "sold" on eBay. I don't think the winning bidder actually thought money would convert this guy, but it seemed that he viewed it as an interesting experiment of sorts. In fact, he was hoping this experiment would help save Christianity from "aggressive evangelism." His mission is "helping Christians be normal."

Sites to check out here and here. (BTW: As strange as it is, it simultaneously actually seems really interesting.)

Ok, let me just ask, what the heck does that mean - "helping Christians be normal"? When I was in high school, there were certain Christians who freaked me out... and then I think I ended up becoming virtually one of them. Why? Because I ended up taking my faith seriously, something that intervenes in, moves, influences, sustains, and transforms my daily existence. But I also think we may all have a story or a time when there was something akin to "aggressive evangelism" or perhaps just sheer "abnormalcy" that had the outward appearance of doing anything BUT furthering the Kingdom. Does this mean we disengage? I don't think so. I think it challenges us to evaluate what it truly is that will further the Kingdom. Ultimately, there are a lot of things that can contribute to someone converting to, or someone abandoning, the Christian faith. Dialogue or logic for example. I think this can go either way. You enter into discussion, and some will walk away thinking, "Hmm, I need to consider this Jesus guy a little more," but others will walk away and say "Well, just as I thought. Nothing is proven." (Etc.)

This makes me think that the only thing that can do nothing except move someone to consider Christ anew is love. I don't think going to 10-15 random church services will be conclusive for any one individual. Maybe someone sits down in a pew in a Baptist service and comes to faith. Maybe someone enters a Roman Catholic church and comes to faith. Maybe someone goes to a Church Under the Bridge service with the homeless and comes to faith. Maybe someone walks into an elementary school or into a movie theater auditorium on a Sunday morning where electric guitars are playing praise songs and comes to faith. But someone else? They might be in any of these scenarios and emerge unmoved, untouched, unchanged, perhaps even repulsed. It could look really really different. I couldn't say why there's a difference in how people come to faith, or how it even happens, or conversely why it doesn't. This is the inscrutable wisdom of God. But love? How can agape love offend, unless it makes you feel ashamed, like the high priests walking away from the cross that Jesus is hanging from... unless you have repudiated the love that is given?

Incase you're wondering about my absence, well, I was ill for a few days. Spent some quality time vegging out with movies, sleeping, and walking around the house in my P.J.s. That and eating lots of Girl Scout cookies. It's a new week though, and I have been busy with an application. ::suspenseful music in the background:: Yep, I'm moving forward and submitting an application with MTW. I will hopefully submit by Friday and hear back before April on if I am accepted...

monday night

Last night, I attended a philosophy lecture at UK. The lecture was enjoyable, and in a way sort of validated my undergraduate education. The lecturer spent most of the time talking about philosophy as a performance, one that is carried on within one's own mind, and then at the end noted that there is also another way that philosophy is a performing art, that is, when there is a community of minds dialoguing about philosophy together. (yay St. John's.) He also discussed translation of philosophical works as something that should be more highly esteemed, and not seen as the work of the underlings. There was a balance, he said, in learning how to translate the spirit of the thought and not just the letter of the thought. This is one area in which I think my undergraduate education was lacking. I can't recall having any single significant classroom conversation in language tutorials where we discussed the importance of uncovering the spirit of the Meno, for example, when preparing a translation from the original Greek. All too often I remember having the difficulty of just parsing verbs that knowing how to convey the idea, or structure the sentence, became an afterthought. As you continue in translation work, I think you come to discover this balance between spirit and letter, but all the same, the topic is worth discussing, especially when the translations are a group activity, as it was at St. John's.

So I would say that skipping my weekly Monday night Bible study to attend the lecture was a good choice. (Besides, I wasn't the only one skipping Monday night Bible study for it... heh..."everyone's doing it!" HI Michael & Rebekah! :P) It has been too long since I've been in an academic setting such as that, and I welcomed it like a breath of fresh air.

However, when I left the university, I was not so enthused to discover that I was given a $25.00 parking citation fine, which I still do not understand, given the fact that the signs *seemed* to clearly indicate that parking permits were only required between the hours of 8:30am and 3:30pm... I also had my friend Lauren there as a witness... and seeing as how we were there at 7:30pm, I did not think there should have been any problem. Alas, I was wrong.
[sarcasm] This must be God's punishment on me for choosing pagan philosophy over His Word. [/sarcasm]

My written appeal that doesn't stand a chance here...

I received a parking citation for not having a permit on Monday night (3/6/06) at 8:29pm.
I was attending a lecture at the William T. Young library and had arrived at around 7:10pm.
When I arrived at the library, I read the sign outside the lot stating that the lot was Permits Only Mon-Fri from 8:30am-3:30pm. It was after the time of restricted permit only parking, so I went ahead and parked. The gate was open and there was no attendant at this location who I could have asked for possible clarification. I had a witness in the car with me who explicitly confirmed what the sign did say.
Thus, one of three possibilities has happened:
1. The sign was unclear, in which case my understanding of the sign was incorrect.
2. The sign was not correct and the times for being allowed to park in that particular lot had changed, although the sign had not.
3. I was mistakenly fined.

For any of the three above reasons, the fault is not entirely my own. It does not seem just that as an honest citizen who would not have knowingly parked in a lot that I was not allowed to park in would still have to pay the fine, or even the full amount of the fine. You will notice that I have never received any prior parking citations at the University of Kentucky, and my driving record is impeccable. If I wrongly parked in this particular lot, it was done so unknowingly. I would not have had a problem spending an extra 10-15 minutes finding a permitted public parking spot elsewhere.

Please take these following reasons and concerns into consideration for a refund, partial or total, of my parking fine.
Thank you.

I can't resist...

... the box of girl scout cookies (caramel delights) sitting on my desk... it would be cruel of whoever put them there to have them taunt me like that and not expect me to eat any... I already bought thin mints and peanut butter patties yesterday... mmm...

This is the one great thing about girl scout cookies: they certainly brighten up an otherwise wintry, dreary month of March.

not a family trait

I found out that my dad has only read one book in his entire life. By saying this, I mean reading a book all the way through. Incidentally, the book was All the President's Men. He has read sections or parts of many books, and otherwise basically cliff-noted his way through college. This both astounds me and humors me.

What mold did I come from? Clearly my reading habits are not a family trait. And if you think perhaps I should look to my mom's side of the family tree, well, let me just say I wouldn't be surprised if her "reading track record" actually "beat" my dad's. They may be two peas in a pod, but I am either no pea or in no such pod.

On many levels, it appears that I am diametrically opposed in myriad ways from my family (excluding my sister, who shares much more in common with me). I don't talk like my parents (I was raised in Yankee territory), I don't have a simliar palate as my parents (once I ate Chinese there was no turning back), I don't have the same religious practices and views as my parents (for all intents and purposes they seem to be simple non-practicing American moral-based Christians, whereas I am a practicing Spirit-led follower of Jesus Christ), I don't have similiar vocational dreams or goals (theirs seem summed up best by big house, 2.5 kids, white picket fence in the suburbs, which also must come with a healthy paycheck),... etc. The list could go on and on...

There is a wonder to this... First, what traits are family traits? Second, what did shape my interests as I grew up?

Of course there are the mere biological qualities: I'm short like my mom, blood type like mom... But I also notice that things like mannerisms and gestures are similar to my parents. This makes sense given the fact that I was around my parents growing up more than anyone else. After this, I sort of hit a wall. How can I separate what in me has been molded by my family from, say, being an American citizen, having lived in prosperity, having been surrounded by a suburbia setting, or receiving a public school education? (Just to name a few environmental factors.) Then, what about the non-environmental factors? Am I just a product of circumstances, or is there more of a "core" that is me? (Don't worry; I'm not having an identity crisis... it's curiosity more than anything else.)

70 to snow

Yesterday it was 70; today it is lightly snowing. *Sigh*

If you want to know what I've been thinking about recently, just follow this link...

"Hamlet"

a poem by Boris Pasternak, translated from the Russian by Jon Stallworthy and Peter France, and passed on to me by a Belarusian friend.

The buzz subsides. I have come on stage.
Leaning in an open door
I try to detect from the echo
What the future has in store.
A thousand opera-glasses level
The dark, point-blank, at me.
Abba, Father, if it be possible
Let this cup pass from me.
I love your preordained design
And am ready to play this role.
But the play being acted is not mine.
For this once let me go.
But the order of the acts is planned,
The end of the road already revealed.
Alone among the Pharisees I stand.
Life is not a stroll across a field.
(1948)

Friday I attended a midnight movie at the historic Kentucky Theater... The show was Taxi Driver. Brief review (minor spoiler alert): Taxi Driver was a fairly disturbing film. Robert DeNiro is just plain creepy, Jodi Foster looks like an emaciated orphan (she really plays a prostitute in the movie), and Cybil Shepherd actually looked attractive. The movie gets you wondering a) why did Cybil's character ever even go out on a date with a guy who was practically stalking her, b) why Cybil's character found it necessary to find him again in the end (IOW, what was fueling the connection or the attraction?), and c) how the h3ll Robert DeNiro's character became a hero. DeNiro's big bang rampage actually reminded me of Boondock Saints... and that movie is also messed up, but in a completely different way... see, I liked Boondock Saints even with all the cussing, violence, and blasphemy (I mean, there are hot guys with Irish accents in it, what more can I say?? ;)). Taxi Driver though I did not like, but I give it credit - it crawls under your skin. Perhaps therein lies its genius.

On Friday I also tried to apply my bookworm smarts at a round (read: hour and a half) of Trivial Pursuit Book Lovers edition... it was terrible! I kept going back to the category for "Classics" and I still did poorly... amazingly I got one question which was about Middlemarch. Suffice it to say, I wasn't the only one who found the game quite the challenge; after the "round" the other two players and I were all tied with only 1 piece each to our names.

Saturday I found myself back on the dance floor at a swing dance. It was a lot of fun, and I learned some new steps, like the Lindy Hop - or basically the dance steps used in the 40s Charleston.

Sunday I got to hang out with uber-cool Johnnies David Ferrell and Brad Dollard. I (finally) had my first experience of eating at an Indian restaurant. Really good stuff.

I bought an iPod a few days ago. Now I just need the MacPro to go with it...