let's see...
election is coming up, I'm kind of nervous.
Auburn is doing well in football... yay.
work is keeping me busy, I'm trying to log some overtime, and I'm having fun getting to know my co-workers... a lot of really good, fun and funny people. The work itself: a bit stressful. After a hiatus from the phones, I got to train people and process claim payments... now I'm back on the phone on a full time basis. It sometimes gives me a metaphysical headache.
I'm in NC, had a long drive here (didn't arrive until near 2-3am) and I am going to head back to KY now... but I have a visitor with me, Johanna! It is so nice to see her, and at least I have someone to talk and laugh with for the 14 hours of driving.
Leo is perplexing me as ever before. Freaks out at cars, men, and peanut butter; refuses to eat his food in one sitting (he's practically fasting like a little monk); wakes me up- and keeps me up- at 1am, 2:40am, 3:47am.... but then lets me oversleep until 8:09am and then I'm late for work; he likes to jump on me and Karen and tries to bite us, but runs and hides around most other people; he gets car sick for the first month every time I took him in the car, then I take him on a 7 hour car ride and he silently sleeps in the back without being bothered or getting sick...
I'm thinking about how when I want to talk to someone, it's not so much that I want to be heard, but I want to hear. I long not so much to answer everyone's questions and share every waking moment and thought of my life but the longing is to hear behind the walls of someone else's mind and heart. Yet how easy it is when the walls don't ever seem to come down in others, that I then build my own walls and keep people from knowing what I really think about and feel when I'm by myself, mind wandering, praying, and trying to fall asleep at midnight. I always have felt "cursed" (I jokingly would say, though I'm aware it's a gift) with compassion and empathy for others... but as I have been dealing privately and corporately with the death of the pastor at my church, I've been hearing people/psychologists/counselors say that pastors often have a gift of empathy and in turn makes them more susceptible for this strength to be attacked and turned against them as a weakness... it makes them more susceptible to depression by carrying these burdens of so many people and internalizing them... so maybe I am not so crazy for feeling like this "unnatural" compassion for people, the desire to help someone behind the walls of their soul, the craving to connect, is a curse... it is a gift but perhaps sometimes it is turned against me by the powers that be, pulling me down, draining me emotionally, making it hard to let people be in and out of my life, fluid, and not constant or steady, and for me to find balance and solidity on a daily basis by myself...
enjoy the photos, I thought I'd give a little tour of my life here in KY... places I spend a lot of my time...
Saturday, October 30, 2004
hello from a world of craziness
Leo meets the Pink Octopus
Southland Christian Church
Scoping out the parking lot for a hot lady dog friend....
WaffleHouse
Monday, October 18, 2004
well.
sorry for the long silence... sadly, it will have to continue a little longer...
time! time! time!
but photos are on the way!
Thursday, October 07, 2004
i'm laughing at the texans inside
not something you see everyday:
a car with a Texas license plate, which is surrounded by a Kentucky Wildcats frame, with Kentucky Wildcats stickers all over the back windshield.
I'm laughing.
One Texan at a time...
Wednesday, October 06, 2004
Debates
I wasn’t exactly planning on writing about the presidential debates. I have watched them thus far, discussed them, thought about them. But I must say… last night’s VP debates were lively. Amusing. I’ve always heard about how Cheney can be a real jerk sometimes. He wasn’t showing that side last night. He was however showing his superior understanding and intelligence in political matters, and did have a few effective sharp jabs aimed at Edwards and Kerry. If I were Edwards, only my pride would keep me from being completely embarrassed. For all his years as a trial lawyer, I gotta say, it has taught him sophistry, but not even sophistry did he perform well. His comments lacked substance and relevance. So he’s a new guy. He hasn’t been in the political arena as much as someone like Cheney. But even still, in giving him the credit of attempting to be a good debator… his words- to me- just overflowed with naivete. I appreciate and admire – in a sense- his idealism. But even in my own bit of political naivete, I still couldn’t help but feel that Edwards (and at times, Kerry as well) are just out of touch with politics and foreign policy. You really can’t tell the American people every thing, and every reason for every decision. It is just impossible, you would end up getting yourself into a mess and perhaps endanger the lives of others. You can say you want to do bilateral talks with Korea but I’m going to side with Bush on this one because at least Bush has been there, worked with the leaders of other nations, and can base policy on his experience and understanding of how things can be - and also will never be –accomplished. That is not to say he is always right, or that I think bilateral talks are bad… but they are idealistic, and have that tinge of naivete that just doesn’t make me believe in the wisdom of Kerry/Edwards on foreign policy. That is not to say I think Cheney is great. I don’t particularly know what to think of him, but at least he demonstrates his knowledge of the facts better, voices his opinions even when contrary to Bush, and shows up to vote on legislation. And as I said, I do appreciate the idealism of Edwards, and also his southern hospitality, but that just is not going to make things happen- or resolve any issues- in domestic and foreign policy, in my opinion. There's my two cents for now.